I'm going to Bangkok for 2 weeks next month. I was also thinking of taking a trip to Hanoi in Vietnam. Can anyone recommend a complete newbie on what to do in those two cities? Looking both to experience the local culture, as well as to coom.
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I would advise you to stick to one country with that limited timeframe. I promise you'll find enough to do around Thailand for two weeks.
I agree with this. For 2 weeks I would rather see more of Thailand, and cities aren't worth staying in for the whole time.
Fly to Bangkok airport, then immediately fly to either Chiang Mai, Krabi or Phuket (depending on what you want to do (beach and islands vs jungle and mountains).
Enjoy Thailand. I would personally go to Chiang Mai for the first week, then maybe chill in Hua Hin/Cha-am for a few days before staying in Bangkok for a few nights before flying home.
I second the idea of spending 2 weeks in 1 country, but I'm extremely biased since I live in Thailand and think it's an overrated cesspit (yeah I get that the scenery and beaches can be nice but it's difficult to ignore that Thais are some of the most moronic imbeciles on the planet). So I would instead just do a cooming layover in Bang wiener for 2 nights and immediately head to Vietnam.
You can see most of Hanoi in 2 days, then slow travel by bus/train to Ninh Binh, Hue, Da Nang, further down the coast eventually through Dalat and ending up in HCMC. From there you can take a direct flight to Chiang Mai, rent a scooter there to frick around on the mountain roads for 3 days and then fly back to BKK to get on your flight home (assuming that your flight from/to home is booked via BKK already).
Although it really depends what OP wants to do. Coom in ladyboys? Bangkok all the way. See temples and mountains? Chiang Mai. Beaches and jungles? Ko Samui and Phang Nga with a day trip to Similan islands. Either way unless you want to monger fulltime I can't imagine why anyone would want to spend 2 weeks in BKK. Similarly with Hanoi you'll find more interesting places outside built up cities. Don't spend the bulk of your time in metropolitan areas.
But take this with a grain of salt as it's coming from an oldgay who's lived in Thailand for over a decade and is sick and tired of Thai people's bullshit. If I'm going to leisure travel around SEA I'd much rather be surrounded by the quirks of actual infrastructural underdevelopment (like in Vietnam and also don't forget Laos which has incredible karst formations and little boats you can charter upriver to relive your Captain Kurt fantasy).
Honestly OP it would be a lot easier to give suggestions if you tell us more about yourself. Hobbies, age, gender, travel experience, where you're from, best/worst experiences you've had, what you're enchanted by, give me a rundown of your background (and your fly in/out dates).
Tell me more about these river boat riders in Laos. I’d love to take a week long ride upriver in SEA akin to apocalypse now or something thereof
Easy mode:
>Start in Chiang Mai
>Take a bus to Chiang Rai, chill there for a day to see the White Temple, Black House, etc
>From Chiang Rai look for the bus in pic. This brings you to the border with Laos
>Cross border, walk down to river and look for huts that sell boat tickets to Luang Prabang
>The journey takes two days with a stopover in Pakbeng (either prebook your accomodation in Pakbeng or buy a more expensive boat ticket that includes a guesthouse room)
This is a pretty common route but this section of the Mekong river is still surrounded by relative flatland. If you're cool with being on a boat for 13 hours a day reading a book and chatting with other passengers this is for you. There's no food or water on the boat (there is something resembling a toilet at the back of it) so make sure to stock up. The back gets noise and smoke from the engine so try to get a seat closer to the front. You'll finish in Luang Prabang which you can spend 2 nights in to see most of what's on offer there.
If you're looking for something more adventurous:
>Start in Luang Prabang
>Get a van ticket or ask your accomodation to hook you up with a driver to a town called Nong Khiaw (you used to be able to get there by boat but Chinese have built dams in between)
>Trip takes about 5-6 hours unless the driver is on meth in which case it's 2-3
>Nong Khiaw is great but what you're looking for is a small riverside settlement upstream called Muang Ngoy (charter a long tail boat from Nong Khiaw)
>No roads connect to this village
>Small handful of accomodations
>One humble temple and a school for local hill tribe kids
>Further North is nothing but jungles, tigers and isolated hamlets
It's a place that feels frozen in time at the edge of the world. From here you can charter any long tail fishing boat to take you even further upstream where the Apocalypse Now vibes are truly on point.
Back down at Nong Khiaw you'll find motorbike rental shops and agencies which can take you on multiday trecks to stay with hilltribe villagers. Don't think about doing this by yourself since the mountains are still littered with unexploded mines.
VangVieng gets an honorable mention since despite being a drug party hotspot the scenery is majestic and you can do decent river kayaking, or see the landscape from an (affordable) hot air balloon ride with a perpetually drunk captain.
epic post. thanks
Im assuming you speak basic to conversational thai to reach places like this?
Correct, but you don't need to. I'm very much over Thailand and thus don't even bother speaking Thai anymore when travelling around. Unless your tones are on point it's useless to try and people will look at you like you came from outer space. And those suggested river routes are in Laos anyway and Lao language only shares commonalities with NorthEastern Thailand (Issan) dialects that sound like a different language altogether.
It's ironic that despite living in Thailand for years and speaking the language I find that travelling through neighboring countries to be a far better experience and overall it's easier to communicate with people there (despite the language barriers). Thais have been spoiled and jaded by decades of tourism. In my experience they'd rather keep laying in a hammock scrolling through TikTok than do anything beyond bare minimum. Laotians on the other hand are still hungry for more. Throw them a few Kip, point at their boat and show them a place on the map and they'll get you there.
But that's entirely my subjective opinion and a first time visitor to the region might disagree.
I don't wish to derail the thread, but what is the particulars about Thailand for expats that live there long term that they get weary about? you mentioned the
1. Thai language tonal aspects being difficult to master, therefore unusable and also added the fact Thai natives don't welcome it when its used improperly
2. Thais are jaded, spoiled, and lazy and would rather be on their phones instead of working and being attentive
3. Also you mentioned earlier you lived in TH for decades and got tired of their BS.
I've been in Thailand two times and I experienced none of that, I lack the duration and long term stay experience to know if pursuing and staying in TH longer for me is worth it, what part of Thai society/culture starts being irritating for expats that live there? Cause lot of other anons say similar things
Extremely based and detailed post, thank you anon.
This will be my first trip, I'm 20 and male. Arriving in Bangkok on the 13th next month and returning on the 30th. I don't really have any particular hobbies beside regular things like playing games and watching anime, I am however big into history/nature/local architecture.
I've got no travel experience, but have always been more interested in Asian cultures, probably because of my "hobbies". Overall, I'm looking for something balanced. Not only cooming (Pattaya), but also exploring and actually getting to know the local culture and whatnot. I like beer a lot so bars could be fun, trying to socialize and stuff. I looked at Chiang Mai and it looks like a good place for what I want to experience/see. What do you think?
Thanks again
>not travel experience
>first stop is Thailand
you are a Hangover movie waiting to happen lol, enjoy the ride man, you'll never forget kt
forget it*, fricking phoneposting
OP here, forgot to add that I’m trans and would like to coom in boypussy. Thx
>Cooming in Bangkok
Nana Plaza is great. Landmark is a nice hotel right next to there where you can take the ladies up and no one cares. A lot of hotels in Bangkok charge extra for "guests".