How to do China with autism?

So I’m unable to self sooth and have agoraphobia (it’s basically autism)… so a close friend or family member has to escort me when travelling cos I get overwhelmed by scary and unfamiliar places, streets, transport, buildings etc.

How can I visit China in a way that I don’t have hourly meltdowns? I want to maximise time in comfy spaces like gardens, cosy streets, stall markets, wooden temples… maybe even make use of river cruises. Trains and coaches will be fine.

I have no shame in booking an escorted multi day tour - need help on routes and itinerary. Also what hotel to stay in in Hangzhou or Shanghai.

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  1. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >So I’m unable to self sooth and have agoraphobia
    i feel like I have this too.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Tell me more fren

  2. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    dont go to 10million+ cities?

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      stfu

  3. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Get a paid guide and have a friend come with you.

  4. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    overcome agoraphobia first then go to China.

    exposure therapy where you get more desensitised to the stimulus until it is no longer a problem.

    It is doable people who are afraid of water have become swimmers

  5. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >moron with fake disease anxiously waits for his chance to travel but realizes he will need to fake it and act moronic for attention overseas also
    Just inform your paid tard wrangler of your "requirements" and they will even change your diaper.

    BTW nobody actually believes your bullshit. They just feel bad for you being such a frickup so they play along. You are fooling nobody. You're basically the same as those creeps who pretend to be babies so they can get off.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      rude

  6. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Dont go to China. If you're really like this the hourly meltdowns are unavoidable. Sorry. Pretty much the entire country other than a few quaint streets in Shanghai are crowded, loud, and chaotic

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Go with one of those $10k tardwrangler tour groups or don't go somewhere as densely packed as China.

      This is just a myth. The crowded places are the exception not the rule. Even in the big cities. Tourist sites of course would be crowded but no more so than in Paris or New York. China is not Japan.

      They have plenty of space.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        What's a myth, that China is loud and chaotic? Are you moronic? Im not raising that as a point against it btw, I love the place, but if you handle stimulation poorly and come from the US especially (unless maybe from Manhattan) China will BTFO you

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's not only not a myth, it's how chinese prefer things. They are put off by things not being chaotic and noisy (热闹). OP should go to somewhere like Iceland instead.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          This. I also love China as a tourist, but especially going to Shanghai and Hangzhou when you cannot handle crowds is just completely dumb and it's like running into a concrete wall. The only dumber thing I can think of would be to go to Guangzhou or Shenzhen.
          Just going to a smaller city already would help a bit, thing is OP won't get there without having to go through the ultimate crowded place which is a major international airport. I know my friends who have no mental health problems normally had panic attacks just passing through airports... So I can't imagine someone with known mental health conditions willingly torture themselves. Why?

  7. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Go with one of those $10k tardwrangler tour groups or don't go somewhere as densely packed as China.

  8. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Book a trip to Canada and get euthanized.

  9. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Start taking pictures of every military and police thing you can find in China. Make sure to be a weird autist when they ask you what you're doing.

  10. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Big cities are better than small fricking towns where you have nosy randoms getting into your business and watching everything you do. In big cities no one pays attention to each other so you are anonymous almost all the time

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >so you are anonymous almost all the time
      I spent 3 days in Nanning and did not see a single other white person the entire time, everyone stares at you, it's the complete opposite of anonymous. When I got on the train to leave a small cold started pointing at me and crying, other passengers started laughing, I assume the kid was saying something like "white devil"

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        *child

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Cause you so ugly

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Did you try putting your penis away?

  11. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Also come to Canada if you like a mix of unfriendly and nosy people.
    No one talks to each other but last night when I went for a walk I got followed by some paki in a white van and some guy walking stopped in his tracks waited for me to walk past his car THEN locked his car. Not to mention I can't even read a book in my garden without all the nosy neighbours peeping on me, despite me never once talking to them ever. China is heaven compared to here.

  12. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    You're going to have a breakdown if you go to China. No I am not joking. Go on a guided tour. They will take care of everything. China is so different and tourist unfriendly that it will break you down.

  13. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Don't go during holidays or tourist seasons
    Stay in the south where public transit is less crowded and things are generally more developed I.e. Hangzhou
    Hire a guide who speaks Chinese
    Plan out the places you want to go in advance
    Prepare anything you need in advance such as VPN and setting up alipay and we chat
    Check out trip advisor for recommended spots
    Look at booking on trip.com and only consider places rated 4.7 or above, check comment section too

  14. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >gets anxious about something he's not familiar with due to his fears
    1. You don't have agoraphobia
    2. You don't have autism
    3. You are completely normal and just need gradual exposure to being in busy places which is completely painless and doable
    Frick off.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Really… it's a well known fact that the internet is full of reclusive spergs. I wish it weren't true, the idea of admitting it in real life makes my blood run cold. But I’ve always been identified as odd and despite doing everything I could to fit in and be normal, I've messed everything up.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah, well, you're not any of the things you mentioned. You're normal.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          No, he's not normal, he's just a fricking pussy. Being a pussy isn't normal, not even for women.

  15. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    We might be able to help better if we have a clearer idea of what sets you off, and what, if anything, calms you down.
    Hangzhou I recall as pretty chill in general. West Lake is very beautiful.
    Shanghai can be busy with pedestrians around the Bund, but other than that I recall as pretty chill, even in the centre.

    I think what's difficult is that you're asking to visit major tourist areas, one of which is urban, in a foreign country, while having difficulty with crowds. It's hard to square the circle.

    With that said, if you just navigate around crowds rather than walking into them, you might be ok. Suzhou is very comfy.

    I don't think we have a metric for how crowded and hectic China is, and information also goes out of date.
    I recall coastal southeast China (Fujian, Guangzhou, Hong Kong) as being far more hype than anywhere else.
    Chillest place probably being the Northeast in winter.

    The part you mentioned about preferring small towns could be helpful. When I was there about 10 years ago the small towns were noisy and hype, with little personal space and vehicles and people whizzing around.
    With the exception of some small villages near Hangzhou.

    Out of curiosity, do you have any idea what causes the agoraphobia? Are we talking all wide, open spaces, or sterile urban environments that are desolate?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I prefer spaces in proportion with human sizes, like how cats and mice and most other prey animals do. So airports, arenas, halls, plazas, traffic based roads, bridges are stressful. Markets, gardens, houses, boutiques, cosy hotels, restaurants, museums and exhibits are fine.

      A good rule of thumb is that if a cat would be comfortable there, I can be too.

      To be specific, I’ve never had a screaming meltdown, I will just freeze and have to be reassured by someone who I have with me, if I was by myself I would never be in the triggering situation to begin with.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I think I get it more. You'll have real trouble with much of China because it's so developed. They go large with infrastructure, so lots of open, artificial spaces. You might be able to concoct a route that only goes backroads if you have someone who can explain that to taxi drivers, although it'll cost a bit.
        You might want to see what taxi rates are.
        China has lots of pockets of comfiness, even large wilderness areas, but the normal routes to them would be along highways, through bus depots, across bridges, and in the cities you get human-sized lanes next to highways and megalithic buildings.
        I think if you stayed out of cities and went to rural areas you might be ok.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      The West is even more chill btw compared to Northeast, otherwise agreed.

      I prefer spaces in proportion with human sizes, like how cats and mice and most other prey animals do. So airports, arenas, halls, plazas, traffic based roads, bridges are stressful. Markets, gardens, houses, boutiques, cosy hotels, restaurants, museums and exhibits are fine.

      A good rule of thumb is that if a cat would be comfortable there, I can be too.

      To be specific, I’ve never had a screaming meltdown, I will just freeze and have to be reassured by someone who I have with me, if I was by myself I would never be in the triggering situation to begin with.

      I hope you'll post an experience thead afterwards.
      I see 2 potential outcomes.
      a) You'll just cave up in your hotel, and maybe crawl to the nearest restaurant during the day every day.
      b) You'll realize that halls, plazas, massive viaducts, bridges, big ass concrete structures can not only mean that you freeze... but sometimes, some countries on Earth go so over the top with their use of HUGE bridges, roads, halls, whatever man-made things that it's just funny.
      I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. I think this trip could maybe even help you at home eventually.

      I'm sure you know, but eg. jetlag and sleep deprivation can make everyone freeze or not function well. So just a friendly reminder to not push yourself in any way shape or form until you had a good night of sleep.

  16. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly if you are this pathetic just find another hobby, it ain't for you

  17. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >I don’t know, can't I just go to enjoyable, not unpleasant locations, which I will enjoy?

    Yes but what an uphill battle. Its like you're saying that entering a forest would make you have a panic attack, but there's a really nice oasis in the middle of the forest you want to go to - so sure, go to the oasis, but understand what you're getting yourself into and the unavoidable route there.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      There’s no day or year of my life that isn’t an uphill battle though tbh. It’s a constant misery and stress with nothing to look forward to. It’s like living in a refugee camp for 5 years… you would brave a terrifying forest to get to an oasis for a week, even if you have to go back to the refugee camp.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Fair enough mane. Good on you for trying at least

  18. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    You need to rearrange your gut microbiome

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I tried using this line and I got slapped. Was it my delivery?

  19. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    you will have a meltdown

  20. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    China is a nation with peasants, they will NOT respect your personal space in the slightest. Your best bet is to book a tour guide who will show you exclusively touristy destinations via taxi. If you wander off the tourist trail, China becomes incredibly third world very quickly which includes peasant people spitting in your face and screaming in your ear.

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