>me and gf of 3 months head to las vegas road trip. >we stop at gas station to fuel up and get a subway sandwich

>me and gf of 3 months head to las vegas road trip
>we stop at gas station to fuel up and get a subway sandwich
>we finish and she gets in car and im fuelling up
>brittle old man with cowboy hat come up to me showing a VA card saying he's a veteran asking if I can help in any way for him to get breakfast
>tell him to head over to the subway and wait a min I'll get him a sandwich,chips and drink
>open car door and tell gf I'm going to get that man a sandwich
>she doesn't say anything but looks visibly annoyed/inconvenienced
>ffwd
>were in Vegas and having a great time we end up with a voucher for a restaurant at resort we're staying at of 200 dollars
>we plan on using it as dinner last day
>last day comes and my gf insists we eat heavy pizza and donuts few hours before we think of using the voucher
>tell her I'm really full and not sure if I'd get past appetizer
>mention "let's go to the restaurant, see prices and if we don't spend all the voucher we can give it to a couple or family there what we don't use"
>her face drops and calls me a weirdo for that looking very annoyed
>mentions that she wants to use the vouchers son us even if we don't finish the food and doesn't want to give it out like a little brat
>says if I want to help people out I should become mayor or some shit
>becomes bullying with few more comments from her
>I just say how dare you and I bring up that instance with the veteran
>she turns it around on me like I was trying to get praise from her and I told her I expected indifference not being annoyed with trying to help someone
>says she plans on having a shared bank account and she is worried I'd give money away (never would)
> I tell her I never give homeless or veterans a penny but if they ask for food/drink I'll assist stating a sandwich here or there won't make or break us
>she starts pacing back and forth pissed throwing her dress at corner saying we're not going to restaurant anymore and I can give voucher away

cont...

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Cont:
    >she cools down
    >looks over at me sad
    >I get up and hug her she apologizes
    >we go to restaurant and use up all the coupons because it turned out to be expensive place and we enjoyed rest of trip
    Was I in the wrong here being too nice especially with wanting to give away vouchers if we ended up not ordering enough food or using them up?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      she lacks compassion
      if you can help others without incurring actual damage you should help others

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No, you're in the right. Big red flags on her part, I think most women would agree. Sounds like she lacks empathy and remorse, or is just very entitled in that regard.

        I'm going to see her again Saturday, is there any way you'd bring this up to talk about it? I don't think I should end the relationship off thus one instance but I do think it needs to be talked about one last time.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I don't recommend that personally, I think she's likely to become very defensive and angry with you. I would move on from it, but note instances in the future of similar behavior and act accordingly

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >I would move on from it
            On second thought you're very right, any sort of little shit test I could do? I know it sounds childish or immature but idk..

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          She's probably not a long term option, enjoy it while it lasts but hedge your losses.
          I wouldn't really bring it up since it seems like a core mechanic of her character and it will just stir conflict without benefit.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I don't even think its lack of compassion tbh, I'm seeing it as another angle entirely.

        I think that she was concerned with you potentially getting taken advantage of/treated like a doormat by others. In her own way, she was acting out because she wanted to protect you from falling into a trap. Perhaps there is some past experience where she or someone in her family was conned or taken advantage of finanically, and it triggers her. Now obviously, I don't know all her life details and I do agree that acting like a child about giving away vouchers is extremely silly. But I don't think it's a "red flag" or that she's a sociopath or anything like that, it's way too hard to tell with the information we have. But you should communicate with her and see what made her act out like that, and go from there.

        tl;dr talk to your girlfriend moron

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >tl;dr talk to your girlfriend moron
          I did and she flipped it on me. Saying if I want to help people become mayor or run a food kitchen. I made it clear I never give out money but nobody should go hungry as it's a rare occurance I'm asked for anything in public

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            im saying you need to talk to her again you dumbass, not in the heat of the moment right after bringing up the fact that you want to be charitable again.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I think it's a mistake to bring up this thing up again. I think it's better to figure out some sort of shit test to replicate this and see how she reacts. If you were to bring up what happened on our trip how would you do it?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >I never give out money
            but you essentially are when you buy someone food. she brought up the shared bank account probably because she's concerned about you being more generous than you guys can afford. you have long term retirement to be thinking about, saving for a mortage, and whatever other expenses you have. my husband has a tendency to be like this and it similarly stresses me out. I work really hard and want my resources I worked hard for primarily going to my family (sole breadwinner). I get wanting to help out where you can but it is probably making her nervous that she doesn't know where you draw the line. How much will you self-sacrifice from your pooled resources without running it by her?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I can follow your train of thought, there's situations where rejecting people who want something is the wise choice because they have ulterior motives (beggars, salesmen etc). But it seems like she took him helping others personally when usually it's to be seen as a noble quality.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/4VEO5Fs.gif

      >me and gf of 3 months head to las vegas road trip
      >we stop at gas station to fuel up and get a subway sandwich
      >we finish and she gets in car and im fuelling up
      >brittle old man with cowboy hat come up to me showing a VA card saying he's a veteran asking if I can help in any way for him to get breakfast
      >tell him to head over to the subway and wait a min I'll get him a sandwich,chips and drink
      >open car door and tell gf I'm going to get that man a sandwich
      >she doesn't say anything but looks visibly annoyed/inconvenienced
      >ffwd
      >were in Vegas and having a great time we end up with a voucher for a restaurant at resort we're staying at of 200 dollars
      >we plan on using it as dinner last day
      >last day comes and my gf insists we eat heavy pizza and donuts few hours before we think of using the voucher
      >tell her I'm really full and not sure if I'd get past appetizer
      >mention "let's go to the restaurant, see prices and if we don't spend all the voucher we can give it to a couple or family there what we don't use"
      >her face drops and calls me a weirdo for that looking very annoyed
      >mentions that she wants to use the vouchers son us even if we don't finish the food and doesn't want to give it out like a little brat
      >says if I want to help people out I should become mayor or some shit
      >becomes bullying with few more comments from her
      >I just say how dare you and I bring up that instance with the veteran
      >she turns it around on me like I was trying to get praise from her and I told her I expected indifference not being annoyed with trying to help someone
      >says she plans on having a shared bank account and she is worried I'd give money away (never would)
      > I tell her I never give homeless or veterans a penny but if they ask for food/drink I'll assist stating a sandwich here or there won't make or break us
      >she starts pacing back and forth pissed throwing her dress at corner saying we're not going to restaurant anymore and I can give voucher away

      cont...

      Honestly, I think this is a huge red flag. Like she doesn’t understand the concept of being kind/helpful to strangers on a gut level.

      You weren’t doing anything extravagant or even really going out of your way. Just being nice. When I’ve done things like that my gf usually reacts along the lines of “aww, aren’t you sweet?” I think most women react that way frankly, most good ones at least. Certainly having a *negative* reaction to you buying a sandwich for a homeless vet is extremely weird. As you said, you weren’t even giving him money! I think it probably says something bad about her fundamental character. It’s probably too extreme to break up only over this one incident but like I said: big red flag.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Actually on second thought, you’ve only been dating for three months? Maybe it is better to just cut your losses and break up now. I probably would, but that’s just me, this would just give me too much of a bad feeling about the kind of person she is. Obviously talk to her (properly!) first though, it’s totally possible she just overreacted in the moment if she felt like you weren’t paying attention to her or something. Of course that’s still not great, but, meh.

        How do you feel about her otherwise? How does she seem to feel about you?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          She's very pretty, I'd say I'm lucky to be with a girl as beautiful as her and she seems way more into me than I'm into her which is kinda nice, her family also really likes me as she wanted me to meet them, her family was in las vegas me and my girl drove there and we spent time with their family, she has a good job and juggles work/school. Pic related is what she sent after I dropped her off home 1/2

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            2/2

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            https://i.imgur.com/ok7gx1n.jpeg

            2/2

            Forgot to add I could see myself with her rest of my life but this instance worries me a bit which is why I came here. Any sort of shit test I can do to see how she reacts I don't think it's wise to bring up this particular incident again

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              https://i.imgur.com/ok7gx1n.jpeg

              2/2

              https://i.imgur.com/X7fWtgs.jpeg

              She's very pretty, I'd say I'm lucky to be with a girl as beautiful as her and she seems way more into me than I'm into her which is kinda nice, her family also really likes me as she wanted me to meet them, her family was in las vegas me and my girl drove there and we spent time with their family, she has a good job and juggles work/school. Pic related is what she sent after I dropped her off home 1/2

              Yeah ok, that makes sense then. Definitely not worth breaking up over this kind of crap lol. It really is weird though, something to keep in the back of your mind.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                [...]
                Forgot to add I could see myself with her rest of my life but this instance worries me a bit which is why I came here. Any sort of shit test I can do to see how she reacts I don't think it's wise to bring up this particular incident again

                And I don’t think there’s any reason to “test” anything, way too high of a chance to go badly. But, if a situation where you want to buy a guy a sandwich comes up again (or similar), don’t hesitate, act like you normally would. If she made a big stink about it again then it would be time to worry about it.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                [...]
                And I don’t think there’s any reason to “test” anything, way too high of a chance to go badly. But, if a situation where you want to buy a guy a sandwich comes up again (or similar), don’t hesitate, act like you normally would. If she made a big stink about it again then it would be time to worry about it.

                I agree definitely not worth breaking up over this thanks anon. If this type of scenario were to play out again with me wanting to buy a snack or drink for someone hungry or asking and she gets visibly upset or tries to berate me again how exactly should I respond?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >latina
            Kidding, there may be something else going on other than absolute lack of empathy or self-centeredness, I would speak to her about it and pay attention to what she says and see where you go from there. The relationship hasn't been going long so it won't hurt as badly AND you'll be saving yourself a massive headache and messy breakup in the future.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >no empathy
      >no compassion
      >thinking about joint bank account problems that do not exist
      >zero capacity of rational discussion
      You need to /quit this relationship my brother in Christ.

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    No, you're in the right. Big red flags on her part, I think most women would agree. Sounds like she lacks empathy and remorse, or is just very entitled in that regard.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      she lacks compassion
      if you can help others without incurring actual damage you should help others

      he displayed weakness by being kind to a homeless bum. she lost respect for him.
      giving away the voucher is also giving more of her resources to others.
      she will cheat on him, and he deserves it. He is a MASSIVE cuck

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >my wife helped out an old lady in line cause she couldn't pay the extra 10$ for her groceries
        is my wife a cuck?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yes, your wife is an enabling cuck. Maybe that old lady should try getting a job instead of banking on handouts?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        have a nice day

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >>she turns it around on me like I was trying to get praise from her and I told her I expected indifference not being annoyed with trying to help someone
    >>says she plans on having a shared bank account and she is worried I'd give money away (never would)
    She has the c**t anxiety that she won't be able to spend all your money on her needless dopamine chasers. I'd seriously test her with pretending to go bankrupt and see her reactions. Just let your lads pound your door in uniform and have them demand the '$40000 you fricking owe'.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This, for once a hairbrained scheme on here would actually work out.
      actually impresive...

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    OP people don't change for the most part. if she'd acting like this now she will forever. do you really want an person who lacks empathy as a long term partner?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I agree but I think I need to let things progress just a tad more possibly finding a way to test her on this type of thing before I break things off completely. Any ideas for a shit test?

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >lonely driver
    >posts about his gf
    poser

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm the the verge of becoming one again and it worries me

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        eh sorry. Women are weird, I'm sure she had no ill intentions, she just wants the best for both of you. In her mind - saving 10$ is best for both of you.
        I wish I had a gf as bad as yours, instead I haven't had woman's touch in more than a year and that's why I made the bitter post

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It's a nice feeling I drink a lot less and enjoy the company of my gf because it's something much different you get/feel from a guy friend especially when she's more into you than you are into her. It's a nice feeling knowing you can be at ease knowing she won't leave you but the abuse I got sucks and I won't take any more of it even if it's back to being lonely and drinking more again. Best of luck anon

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You really didn't have to do that to me

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I want you to make it anon, have you any friends? It might shock you but I have none and hope you can go out with some or at the least get a wingman because if I end this relationship I'm literally fricked and back to the hinge dating app dealing with so much of my time wasted with women playing games something about me stuck out to my girl she was very attracted to me which is surprising as an awkward 5ft 6 manlet with a solid 7/10 gf

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >I haven't had woman's touch in more than a year
          That's ok we still welcome you in the lonely drivers club
          t. senior lonely driver

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Generosity is not weakness. It's based, a Chad move, a Übermensch trait.

    She is annoyed because you had her confront her own egoism. She cant really confront the fact you are unironically better than her.
    This is a red flag.
    Be aware anon.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i think the issue is that everyone in here has no idea what theyre talking about, and that OP doesnt understand that he will never understand where his gf is coming from if he doesnt communicate with her at a time that isnt in the heat of the moment. the "chad" or "noble" talk is just gaslighting at this point. best of luck to OP

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >gaslighting
      Not applicable here, anons are just pointing out standards/principles.
      OP has a functioning moral compass, he should just follow that

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >OP has a functioning moral compass
        to be completely honest I dont think he has a functioning brain. I'm legit triggered that he feels that asking "what is *really* making you feel upset" right after he says "we should give our vouchers away" and counts it as "discussing the issue".

        either he's very dense or just really young and i think i care too much about his story so im done responding. hope things work out and he learns something from it all

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >we should give our vouchers away
          I made it very fricking clear that we'd see prices and see how much we spent or wanted to spend as we just aye a frickton of food not too long before I hate seeing food go to waste

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    shes practical. its every man for themselves. save up for your own future.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    RUUUN!
    nice greentext

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    your gf is right
    your behavior indicates extreme weakness and gullibility

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ok, what really happened here: It's not that she's a stereotypical selfish rich girl from a preschool cartoon, it's that she felt like you do more for strangers than you do for her. She at that moment didn't feel as precious as your foolish determination to buy a sandwich from a literal who. Obviously it's not about buying her something to eat, but she feels that you don't expend the same energy or handle yourself with the same determination when it comes to her things, but you are the most humble guy in the world with strangers. She is bad at expressing herself and is one of those who prefers to ignore the topic, throw hints, explode out of nowhere but be ridiculously easy to console later (because yes, she loves you, she just doesn't know how to tell you things and she is weak to you).

    I'm not even saying she's 100% right, it's probably a perception issue and talking about it can fix it.
    But analyze what you say and see how quick you were to spend time and money on a homeless man and how you hesitate and say no to a request of hers when she clearly wants that.
    The problem lies in those small attitudes. Make her feel valued, even in small things.
    She's not a stupid person who lacks compassion like other anons say, OBVIOUSLY not.
    I know you'll say "muh but that's just how I am", well fix it because that's not going to get you anywhere.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      And yes, I know this because I have heard from many women about their problems with their boyfriends and this one in particular is quite common. They want to be the person who has the most priority in your life when it comes to spending time and money, and that it comes out instinctively, that you don't start to logically analyze only their things. And that's not selfish or attention prostitutes, it's normal. Imagine your girlfriend continues conversations with guys who are hitting on her "just to be humble and not hurt her feelings," but then you tell her about your terrible day at work and even though she listens, she doesn't even stop doing whatever she's doing to look you in the eyes while you talk, even just a little.
      This is a common problem, quite clumsy but a problem, talk to her about it and that's it.

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    she probably doesnt want you to get shanked giving away change

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You will have my time

    >gf of 3 months
    You gave up your commitment, your sexual freedom in 3 months to a woman you dont know. The only two next steps are either marriage or break up. You have no options, she is better than you, you are easy, she has you. That tanks female attraction

    >she doesn't say anything but looks visibly annoyed/inconvenienced
    If she would be in love, as she should be 3 months in, she would be charmed by your actions. Instead she is looking for reasons to exit. Her attraction is low, you made many many mistakes somewhere before that

    >her face drops and calls me a weirdo for that looking very annoyed

    Again, its not the action. You are the leader, her man, her dad, the general. She doesn't respect you and doesn't love you, because you have no idea what are you doing. Its your general weakness, easiness and unmanliness. Think about this, man is the general and woman is a soldier. If soldier trust and respects the general he will die for him happily. If general acts like a b***h and soldier doesnt respect him, any generals orders will be met with skepsis and annoyance

    >says if I want to help people out I should become mayor or some shit

    Shit test. That was an opportunity to put her in ber place and get some respect

    >I just say how dare you and I bring up that instance with the veteran

    And test is failed, because you are arguing like a female. You are fighting her verbally like a woman, someone on her level, a soldier. Because you have no power. You lost it, you are not the leader. Never ever ever argue with women. Listen to them very carefully and fully. Then either fix the issue or lay the law with your iron will. General never argues with soldiers

    >she starts pacing back and forth pissed throwing her dress at corner

    Thats what happens when you enable women, children or crazy people, by falling down to their emotional level

    Your did didnt raise you as a man. Fix that

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    She is a c**t, plain and simple.

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sounds like she has quiet BPD and was jealous of the attention you gave to these other people while you were on vacation. In her mind, you should have chosen to fed or treat her whenever you helped the veteran/family. If you are able, I suggest breaking up and finding someone sane. It will only get worse.

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