*Plane touches the ground*
>Why have you decided to visit the UK specifically? What's wrong with Germany or Spain?
>Show me your invitation letter
>How long are you staying for?
>Why are you staying for over two weeks?
>Where is your return ticket?
>Which places will you visit? Let me see your itinerary
>Where will you be staying? Show me your hotel voucher
>How much money do you have?
>Have you paid for any health insurance?
>Have you got any family in the UK?
>What about friends?
>What do you do in your home country?
>Have you brought a copy of your job contract?
>And a copy of your tenancy agreement?
>How do I know you won't overstay your visa?
>Listen here, don't get smart with me, I know you have answered all of my questions and provided all the necessary evidence, but I'm the one calling the shots here, not you. I don't care if you're in a hurry, I have all the time in the world
>Pick up your bags and follow me, I'm going to check them for drugs
*Six hours later*
>OK sir, you may enter the UK
>We keep our borders very safe, you might not be that lucky next time
*Inflatable boat touches the ground*
>Welcome sir, we have been expecting you!
>Please follow me, we'll put you and your shipmates on the next bus to one of our most pristine rural villages
>Don't worry about it sir, we have already booked you a room in a very nice hotel, all expenses have been taken care of