Airplane tropes

>90 min flight
>seat belt sign turns off
>half the cabin rushes the lavatory.

  1. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >5’3 woman sits down in front of you
    >immediately throws the chair all the way back to lean into your kneecaps

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      friend of mine is 6,5 with a trick knee. He used to wedge his legs into the chair in a way that caused his kneecap to dislocate when someone would recline. He gets free upgrades now.

      >southwest
      >Gate agent announces A group
      >all 160 passengers line up at the ticket booth regardless of group or number.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >all 160 passengers line up at the ticket booth regardless of group or number.
        when you can't understand the announcements you just line up
        happens in Mediterranean too

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          southwest is a burger only airline. So it stands to reason that nearly all of them would speak english to an extent.
          >southwest
          >pay for early bird
          >deliberately board at end
          >complain to gate agent they weren't enforcing the boarding order
          >get $200 flight voucher and early bird refunded.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            You know that you can be a native English speaker and still not understand announcements in a noisy environment?

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              >"do I need to take my laptop out?"
              >"yes, laptop out, ipad out, all liquids out regardless of size"
              >"do I need to take my ipad out?"
              >"yes, laptop out, ipad out, all liquids out regardless of size"
              >"do I need to take my liquids out?"
              >"yes, laptop out, ipad out, all liquids out regardless of size"

              stop being reasonable

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                You forgot
                >can i leave my belt/hat/parka/shoes/20lb diver watch on?

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                That's understandable though, those regulations are different in every country and time of the day.

                >family boards plane
                >stupidly they didn't check in on time so they are not seated together
                >crew has to play human chess with other passengers so that the family can sit together
                it always ends up being me that is asked to move. no fuck off i wanted an aisle seat so i booked it. i am not moving to that middle seat between the sweaty pajeet and the psychotic steroid-muncher with face tattoos thank you very much

                That's why you never accept a swap where you don't get the better seat.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                are you a tsa agent lmao ? otherwise you're right people tends to shutdown their brain when they're on vacation

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >are you a tsa agent lmao ?
                lol yes (or european equivalent) was it that obvious? I try to be courteous and understanding. people are stressed, they just flew through some other airport in another part of the world with different rules. but I'll vent in the breakroom about stupid passengers

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                To be fair the rules vary by country and airport too. The laptops and liquids out is standard but when it comes to other electronics and powerbanks for example you never know what you will get. Some airports want you to take out all electronics like cameras. Some want to see your powerbank. I travel all over Europe frequently and still occasionally get the "you have to take this out!" speech by an agent.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                its not even that standardized. for instance domestic fights in New Zealand have literally no security.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Makes sense, what's a terrorist going to do, crash it into a volcano in Antarctica?

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                They could reenact 9/11 with the teeth of their PM standing in as WTC.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >they just flew through some other airport in another part of the world with different rules.
                wait, if you are transferring in the EU, you have to go through security AGAIN?

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                If you transfer in any country, you have to go through their security, even when you have already gone through security originally yourself.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                "just flew through" might be several hours ago, or few days ago.

                If you transfer in any country, you have to go through their security, even when you have already gone through security originally yourself.

                most larger airports in europe are part of the One stop security scheme, so you don't need to go through security again unless you leave the terminal

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I am flying from Serbia with a 1hr transfer in Paris. Should all be t2..do you think ill have to go thru security?

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                If you're coming from outside Schengen then yes you need to go through security in Paris. I hope your flights are on the same ticket, otherwise that 1h transit is going to hurt.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I hate you all. Your security theater bullshit has become too much. The last time I went to Germany I was basically groped because the motherfucking millimeter wave scanner picked up a handkerchief I forgot in my back pocket.
                Then the guy had the audacity of scolding me for not taking it out.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I'm gonna touch your penis and there is nothing you can do about it.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I know, that's exactly why i'm so fucking angry.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                You can grip it too if you'd like bb 😉

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I saw a family flying to Pakistan try to carry on 12 litres of Tropicana orange juice in the mid 2010s kek

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I saw a guy in Morocco trying to check a duffle bag full of only melons and then scream and argue with the check in counter about not being able to.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I saw a guy in Morocco trying to check a duffle bag full of only melons and then scream and argue with the check in counter about not being able to.

                LMFAO

                i went through airport security in israel, they got very suHispanicious i had a pocket full of coins in my backpack on the xray

                Fukin kek

                Fuck you, asshole. I hope the next plane you and your child are on, you have a premonition of your death and get off the plane, only for it to explode shortly after takeoff. You and your hellspawn survive, but now a series of freak accidents and Rube-Goldberg type sequences hunt you and your child down for several weeks until you get your anus sucked out of your body in a horrible swimming pool filter accident, and your kid gets decapitated in an elevator.

                If I ever had a kid, you know what I would do? I'd say, hey, stop crying or we're getting off the plane, off the subway, out of the restaurant, leaving Disneyland, wherever the fuck we are, and walking home. And then when they don't stop we walk home and I apologize to everyone for their behavior. Once the kid knows crying equals vacation canceled, they'll get their shit together.

                Holy FUCKIN kek lmfao based

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >plane is getting ready for take off
                >staff have made multiple announcements to turn off devices
                >signs fucking everywhere saying to turn off devices
                >phone-addict zoomers and boomers still fucking around with their iPads
                >staff tell them to turn them off
                >they dont, they just darken the screen and wait for the staff to stop looking
                i absolutely fucking know i'm gunna die one day from some Candy Crush addict jamming the plane's radar and crashing the fucking thing

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I made a post about this once here and people told me its actually not really dangerous anymore.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >plane is getting ready for take off
                >staff have made multiple announcements to turn off devices
                >signs fucking everywhere saying to turn off devices
                >phone-addict zoomers and boomers still fucking around with their iPads
                >staff tell them to turn them off
                >they dont, they just darken the screen and wait for the staff to stop looking
                i absolutely fucking know i'm gunna die one day from some Candy Crush addict jamming the plane's radar and crashing the fucking thing

                It really isn't dangerous, Hell, the pilots themselves almost all have iPads loaded with an electronic flightbag called foreflight these days.

                t. private pilot

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >plane is getting ready for take off
                >staff have made multiple announcements to turn off devices
                >signs fucking everywhere saying to turn off devices
                >phone-addict zoomers and boomers still fucking around with their iPads
                >staff tell them to turn them off
                >they dont, they just darken the screen and wait for the staff to stop looking
                i absolutely fucking know i'm gunna die one day from some Candy Crush addict jamming the plane's radar and crashing the fucking thing

                It was NEVER dangerous. If a cell phone could take down a plane they would have been dropping from the sky like flies for the past 20 years because of all the people accidentally or intentionally not turning off their phones. The amount of power and the frequencies used by cell phones do not interfere with airplane instruments in any meaningful way. I defy you to show me one crash caused by a cell phone anywhere in the world. If someone brings a giant ham radio or something on the plane maybe we can talk.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Just imagine the possibilities for terror if phones could actually interfere with airplane systems.
                No need to smuggle weapons aboard and fight crew and people to hijack a plane, just have your phone download some files to crash the plane!

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                That's the reality on a scarebus

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                That's the ones made by Boeing, right?

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                They tell them to turn it off because there is really no reason not to tone down any possible unneeded noise in the airwaves. It's impossible for them to test every device out there so it's easier to blanket statement things that for sure have radios in them.

                I get there is virtually no noise out there that would overlap but it's easier from a security perspective to make this a rule

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                No, it's literally a legacy rule from when these things would matter. Nowadays they just don't. The only airlines I see still enforcing this (rather than just implementing), are developing countries ones, because they need to pander that they are security conscious.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                It's a legacy rule that has no benefit to roll back due to lack of testing every mobile device and whatever radio shit's on it.
                >The only airlines I see still enforcing this (rather than just implementing), are developing countries ones, because they need to pander that they are security conscious.
                No it's because there is no benefit to roll the rule back when you have a bunch of chinese phones with who knows what going off on their budget devices and it's a catch all for not having to test them IF something there is wonky.

                A real legacy rule with no benefit would be like the ban for geiger counter on aircraft.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                It's retarded shit left over from when people brought transistor radios on the plane, and the local oscillator in the radio *might* interfere with VHF coms or the nav crap like beacons, ILS or glideslope. It's a legal catch-all to just tell people to turn everything electronic off.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Terrorists want to take down a plane
                >4 board the plane
                >All call each other
                >Leave phones on, in call, in their pockets during take off
                >Plane spirals out of control

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Now just imagine what a single terrorist with 4 phones and a tablet could do!

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >take only my laptops out of my backpack
                >30L backpack still full of electronics and they take a solid minute to look at the xrays
                Only made me take out stuff once, but fuck undoing all my packing just to go through security.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                i went through airport security in israel, they got very suHispanicious i had a pocket full of coins in my backpack on the xray

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Imagine my shock

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                stop importing 3rd world subhumans and start the all-white paradise where police is not needed at all

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I flew through Helsinki last week. They have new scanners and you don't need to take out laptops or liquids anymore. They're slowly being rolled out around the world.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                orlando airport lets you keep everything in your bag because they bought those fancy 3d xray machines that are FUCKING BASED

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                More and more airports are starting to use them. I hope this means we'll finally get our liquids back.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Based

            https://i.imgur.com/n9ErIca.png

            >90 min flight
            >seat belt sign turns off
            >half the cabin rushes the lavatory.

            >"We'd like to offer anyone who needs assistance and those serving on active duty to board first"
            >Board the plane even though not military
            >Get thanked for my service
            >Board before all the first class boomers while they glare
            >Get first dibs on overhead bins so no fighting for space or gay gate check ever
            >Simple as

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              before all the first class boomers while they glare
              >>Get first dibs on overhead bins so no fighting for space or gay gate check ever

              Ha, I've got one.

              >have first class ticket in the front row
              >first boarding group
              >another FC passenger at the back of first class shoves his shit above my seat in that mini bin that only fits 2 bags right before I get to my seat
              >I pull his shit down, set it in the aisle, and announce that he's left his luggage above the first row, and I don't have under-seat storage
              >sit
              >FC flight attendant laughs
              >guy grabs his shit that I left in the aisle and takes it back to row 5 or 6 where he is

              FFS, we're all in first class anyway, why be a dickhead? It's not like there's any reason for us to fight for bin space.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                also, im fairly certain that the mini bin is also marked "reserved" for the FC bulkhead seats.

                Based

                [...]
                >"We'd like to offer anyone who needs assistance and those serving on active duty to board first"
                >Board the plane even though not military
                >Get thanked for my service
                >Board before all the first class boomers while they glare
                >Get first dibs on overhead bins so no fighting for space or gay gate check ever
                >Simple as

                >Board the plane even though not military
                literally didnt happen. unless you stole the uniform and are wearing said uniform.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >implying there are no active servicemen in civilian clothes
                It's cheaper to give away free priority boarding to anybody who claims to be on duty than to risk a shitstorm by asking for documents.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                doesn't apply to and never has applied to active service members in civies.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                active duty fag here, fly home in civies everytime. feels good to be first, but i would much rather to get off the plane first. all that matters is you look like you're in the military. i.e. shaven face, not fat, stand up straight

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >t. active duty fag who doesn't even know you can use your dod # for tsa precheck

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >shitstorm by asking for documents.
                The fuck are you on about? Military have zero rights. If they make a scene because someone asked for their ID they face NJP when they get back to base if the airline reported it. There are also no "documents." They would just show their CAC and be on their way. stop larping.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah, but don't forget the average customers who likes to thank people for their service.
                A shaky phone video of an agent of airline X "mistreating our heroes" is much costlier than just letting people getting away with something that doesn't cost anything.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                You clearly haven't worked in the service industy before.
                The average wagie doesn't give a fuck if a customer is entitled to a specific discount if he doesn't get punished for it.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >literally didnt happen. unless you stole the uniform and are wearing said uniform.

                You're fucking retarded. I'm in the Guard (not active duty) and I board every single flight when they call active military to board and I'm never wearing my uniform and sometimes have a 3+ month beard so I don't look military in the slightest. I've only ever been asked to see my military ID once out of probably 20 flights so stop fucking seething at that guy's post when you obviously don't have a clue.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >implying there are no active servicemen in civilian clothes
                It's cheaper to give away free priority boarding to anybody who claims to be on duty than to risk a shitstorm by asking for documents.

                doesn't apply to and never has applied to active service members in civies.

                you know military personnel have special military IDs, right?
                they're not literally wearing camo on a fucking flight, not to mention it can be illegal to wear camo in some countries and in security sensitive places like airports etc

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >FFS, we're all in first class anyway, why be a dickhead?
                i live and work in a richfag tourist trap and can tell you know that the problem with shit like first class is that everyone likes to think that they're more first class than everyone else.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I can believe that

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Worse is the dickhead in row 58 who puts his bag in the first row overhead bin because he doesn't want to have to carry it all the way.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >econofat boards with FC
                >econofat puts bag in FC bin then wadles his way back to the rear
                >FA makes shiggydigy face
                >lets rest of plane board
                >FC bin runs out of space
                >FA removes econofat bag
                >mr. fat sees the removal and storms the galley
                >Mr. fat raises hell over his newly checked bag
                >Pilot isnt having any of it and has fat removed.
                was a good flight.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            It goes to the following foreign countries
            >Mexico
            >Belize
            >Costa Rica
            >Aruba
            >Cayman Islands
            >Cuba
            >Jamaica
            >Bahamas
            >Dominican Republic
            >Turks and Caicos

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              Correct. Their purchase of AirTran a few years back brought them all of those routes/gates in to their repertoire.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Some airlines and locations enforce boarding groups. You see the mass of plebs trying to board using automated gates only for the gate to beep at them and say wrong boarding group. After some confusion and multiple people complaining it doesn't work staff yells out "now boarding group 1 only". That's when I walk past the plebs and board.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >all 160 passengers line up at the ticket booth regardless of group or number.
        I love up early because I don't want the luggage space full and have to store my hand luggage at the back of the plane

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        i do this by accident cuz leg space on flights is so bad now that my legs are already jamming into someone's kidneys before they even tilt their chair back

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        I used to wait for my group but noticed many times how they will let through other groups just the same, so you end up getting in dead last without any luggage space. Fuck that.

        If everyone apes in, I will too. The crowd is king.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >gives stinkeye to you for accidentally constantly kneeing her chair

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Be me, 6'4"
        >Coming back from Colombia
        >FLL to Vegas
        >Knee touches seat in front of me
        >24 year old blonde roastie immediately turns around to tell me not to kick her seat
        >Stare at her furiously and sit up straight so she can see I'm no manlet
        >Shit my body slightly
        >She turns around again and tells me to stop
        >Loudly tell her I'm not going to sit in the back of the bus because of the way I was born
        >She shuts the fuck up and doesn't say or do shit the rest of the flight

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >>Shit my body slightly
          typical american

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Lol

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lmao, that litterally happened to me two days ago

      >be me, 6ft6 tall guy
      >skimp on emergency seat extra fees because its only a 2 hour flight
      >woman in front of me decided shes going to make the most of it by napping
      >decides to recline on my knees
      >litterally no leeway
      >"could you please move your legs out of the way"
      >"sorry ma'am, i'm 2 meters tall, its physically impo
      >"I know but id like to rest a little"

      At this point, since they are so dense and entitled, i usually just try to fuck with them and make em believe they can do it, only to find my knees blocking the reclining mechanism again.

      If they get sneaky (e.g try to recline the seat when im going to the toilet) i just impale my knees in their back out of sheer spite for the rest of the flight, making sure i squirm sometimes for maximum discomfort.
      Us tall people really should get free emergency seats. This shit is discriminatory.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        if you want more room pay for it
        the airline sold me a seat that reclines, i'll recline it if i want to
        not my fault you're a miserable cheapskate
        if you don't like it fucking stay at home

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          This is an example of manlet rage

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Us fat people really should get free two adjacent seats.
        >This shit is discriminatory.
        Right?

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Can you unironically not see how those two situations fundamentally differ

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          except you have direct control over your fatness.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Born tall
          >Choose to be fat

          Can you not spot the difference you double whopper and a large coke drinking dolt

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            >>Born tall
            to be fat
            > double whopper and a large coke drinking dolt
            haha its like he's describing me to a tee

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Flying Icelandair back to the UK a couple of years ago and some fat burger couldn't fit in his basic seat at the back. They moved him up to first for some reason and he proceeded to pull the seat back ahead of him as he levered into the seat.
          Lady in that seat went flying as her seat flipped back.

          could hear the fat fucker wheezing 2 rows away

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            >could hear the fat fucker wheezing 2 rows away
            amogs all adjacent rows just by breathing
            based

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            >pull the seat back ahead of him as he levered into the seat
            i watched some guy time this to great effect.
            >manatee needs to get up to go to the lavatory for 3rd time.
            >uses seat in front as a spring board for leverage getting up and sitting down
            >sitting down always results in the front seat violently lurching forward
            >guy getting seat raped angles the IFE screen so the top edge is exposed
            >guy rubs an ice cube all over his forehead
            >sea cow returns. Grabs top of his seat and loads the catapult.
            >wedges itself into the seat and releases pressure on doods seat
            >he throws his head into the IFE busting the screen and opening his forehead up.
            >screams out "GOD DAMNIT!"
            >his neighbor lets out a horrified scream
            >man removes his hands. looks like he just finished an ECW match.
            >flight attendant comes over, puts hands to face, signals to other FA.
            >man is moved to galley
            >sea cow has not moved or said anything yet
            >flight wasnt diverted as we were close enough to destination to complete flight
            >disembark plane.
            >seacow is held at tunnel exit by airport police.
            >man is being carted off in wheel chair
            i cant help but to think that guy was either a wrestler at one point or someone who has watched too much wrestling because when i got a good look at the cut leaving the jetway, it was rather small. Props to him on using the ice. i do hope he made out like a bandit for his theatrics and i hope the fatty got banned.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >emergency seat extra fees
        If anything, emergency seats should cost less, not extra. Also, there should be a strict legally-binding clause to discourage irresponsible people from sitting in those seats.
        I assume you are responsible enough to assist during an emergency. I doubt some chink tourist or an entitled middle-aged woman has the same capabilities.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >I doubt some chink tourist or an entitled middle-aged woman has the same capabilities.
          In my experience they make sure to place people that can speak local language/English when assigning those seats, probably hand-picking people.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lmao, that litterally happened to me two days ago

      >be me, 6ft6 tall guy
      >skimp on emergency seat extra fees because its only a 2 hour flight
      >woman in front of me decided shes going to make the most of it by napping
      >decides to recline on my knees
      >litterally no leeway
      >"could you please move your legs out of the way"
      >"sorry ma'am, i'm 2 meters tall, its physically impo
      >"I know but id like to rest a little"

      At this point, since they are so dense and entitled, i usually just try to fuck with them and make em believe they can do it, only to find my knees blocking the reclining mechanism again.

      If they get sneaky (e.g try to recline the seat when im going to the toilet) i just impale my knees in their back out of sheer spite for the rest of the flight, making sure i squirm sometimes for maximum discomfort.
      Us tall people really should get free emergency seats. This shit is discriminatory.

      One thing that has always worked for me…

      As soon as we hit cruising altitude, I lower my tray, put my laptop on it so that it’s braced up against the seat. I tap them on the shoulder, point to the laptop and politely say “Hey, no problem at all if you want to recline, but just let me know so I can move my laptop first.”

      Nobody has EVER reclined after that. They probably are more aware of the inconvenience, or they just don’t want to bother me with having to move my laptop.

      (Obviously don’t keep your laptop braced up against the seat, if they DO recline it will snap the screen. Move it right after you ask them).

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >As soon as we hit cruising altitude
        The worst cases are when they recline while the plane is still accelerating. This gives the recliner extra force.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >infrequent flyer
      >complains about people reclining their seats

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      My seat, my rules. Got a problem with that? Pay for more legroom

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      friend of mine is 6,5 with a trick knee. He used to wedge his legs into the chair in a way that caused his kneecap to dislocate when someone would recline. He gets free upgrades now.

      >southwest
      >Gate agent announces A group
      >all 160 passengers line up at the ticket booth regardless of group or number.

      Lmao, that litterally happened to me two days ago

      >be me, 6ft6 tall guy
      >skimp on emergency seat extra fees because its only a 2 hour flight
      >woman in front of me decided shes going to make the most of it by napping
      >decides to recline on my knees
      >litterally no leeway
      >"could you please move your legs out of the way"
      >"sorry ma'am, i'm 2 meters tall, its physically impo
      >"I know but id like to rest a little"

      At this point, since they are so dense and entitled, i usually just try to fuck with them and make em believe they can do it, only to find my knees blocking the reclining mechanism again.

      If they get sneaky (e.g try to recline the seat when im going to the toilet) i just impale my knees in their back out of sheer spite for the rest of the flight, making sure i squirm sometimes for maximum discomfort.
      Us tall people really should get free emergency seats. This shit is discriminatory.

      >tall people who are more fortunate in every aspect of life can't handle a few hours of pain

  2. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >american complaining about something stupid

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      kek

      >American boards plane

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      kek

      >American boards plane

      LMFAO

  3. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Woman gets on with 2 kids. Both act feral and scream for 2 hours

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >baby screams

      Get yourselves a decent pair of noise cancelling headphones Bose or Sony XM4. These saved my sanity on many a flight

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >mfw have 2 pairs of airpod pros so that i NEVER have to go without sound masking even on a 5+ hour flight

        They’re not even that good, but the seamless switching between all my various devices keeps me locked in

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          get the Max. They are next level

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Get yourselves a decent pair of noise cancelling headphones Bose or Sony
        First off, they only work against random noise or rumbling sounds, they do little against talking, music, or children crying.
        Second, the Snoy headphones I have shut down if they're not plugged-in or connected via BT, which is annoying.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          The Sony's are garbage, get Bose, they actually work.

  4. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >the speaker turns on the pilot is about to speak
    >are we finally leaving? Is something happening? It’s been like 35 minutes, what’s going on?
    >dead air sounds
    >speaker turns off

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU
      this happened to me a few times in Newark

  5. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >baby screams

  6. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >airplane lands
    >everybody claps

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Jej

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Greeks

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        The only time I can remember this happening was on a flight from Greece, so checks out

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I will clap for the feat of driving the magical flying metal tube. Simple as.

  7. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >red-eye flight 4AM
    >that one dick head with the shade open nuking the 4 rows around them.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's me, I'm the dickhead.
      I get motion sick if I can't see the horizon, so the shade stays up, that's why I went to sleep early enough to accommodate the 4AM flight and paid extra to pick a window seat.

      lol

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >be on a 787 in middle row aisle seat
        >Dick head is lasering my row and everyone is pissed
        >mention to FA that we are being cooked
        >she nods "i got you senpai"
        >forces window to maximum tint.
        get wrecked kid.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Easy enough to lean over and puke in your lap lol

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >he flies on Boeings

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Based. Me too. I don't sleep on those flights. Plus feels better when you can see the ground as you take off and land.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I was on a redeye 787, they dont let passengers actuate controls until departure local time is past 0900

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        That depends on the airline. AA used to do that, but I've heard they stopped with their 787s.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I noticed trans pacific planes now have blue window tinting that keeps things dark even if some idiot wants to keep it open, it's pretty neat I don't know when they started doing that but it really helps adjusting with time lag

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Some mask wearing fag on my flight from Minneapolis to Amsterdam had his window open the entire flight and he was asleep.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Really depends on the plane and airline.

  8. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >family boards plane
    >stupidly they didn't check in on time so they are not seated together
    >crew has to play human chess with other passengers so that the family can sit together
    it always ends up being me that is asked to move. no fuck off i wanted an aisle seat so i booked it. i am not moving to that middle seat between the sweaty pajeet and the psychotic steroid-muncher with face tattoos thank you very much

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >sweaty pajeet and the psychotic steroid-muncher with face tattoos thank you very much
      Oh say can you see

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        kek don’t forget the big lipped moron

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Don't forget the big lip who watches and listens to his Instagram with no headphones until he's forced to put it on airplane mode right before take off

  9. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    i always board last cause there is usually an aisle with no one sitting

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      That's genious. Do you walk right to the back of the plane searching for an aisle even if you end up having to walk to your allocated seat that is sometimes up the front?

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        If he's flying Southwest, then it's open seating

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      this is a horrible plan. what airport and airline graces you with this much room? Also, have you flown in the last 3 years or are you romanticising about the last flight you took 10 years ago, non-traveller?

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        i fly in europe, and coincidentally ryanair 6 times this year. Being a euro has its advantages muttbro

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Ryanair takes everyone in in last 10 minutes anyway.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Is this an american thing? I've flowna lot and planes generally have lots of room. I was on a plane once and there was only 6 passengers including me. Ironically those most packed planes I've been on were during coronavirus.

  10. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Red eye flight from the west coast
    >Retard cunts bring their newborn baby
    >it screams the whole way

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      You get a special skill when you become a Dad, you'll quickly both learn how to tune out a crying baby, and to not give a shit or be embarrassed when you're out in public.
      Naturally, check if they're hungry, need a diaper change, and feel their forehead, but if body functions are good, they'll cool it with the crying on their own.

      It is a skill that women do not gain, unfortunately for my wife.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Fuck you, asshole. I hope the next plane you and your child are on, you have a premonition of your death and get off the plane, only for it to explode shortly after takeoff. You and your hellspawn survive, but now a series of freak accidents and Rube-Goldberg type sequences hunt you and your child down for several weeks until you get your anus sucked out of your body in a horrible swimming pool filter accident, and your kid gets decapitated in an elevator.

        If I ever had a kid, you know what I would do? I'd say, hey, stop crying or we're getting off the plane, off the subway, out of the restaurant, leaving Disneyland, wherever the fuck we are, and walking home. And then when they don't stop we walk home and I apologize to everyone for their behavior. Once the kid knows crying equals vacation canceled, they'll get their shit together.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          how do you stop baby from crying due to pressure changes?

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            food&drink

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            a shot of vodka

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            hold its head under water

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Put it in the overhead bin

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              Believe it or not, that shit happens.

              A girl I'm fucking used to work as a flight attendant. They were doing a Marseille - Tanger and apparently there was a baby in the flight, but they couldn't see it anywhere (in those cases they need to give the family that special belt and shit).

              They were losing their minds because they needed to start to take off procedure and the baby was nowhere, when suddenly a Moroccan woman stands up, opens the overhead bin... And surprise, there was the baby.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                And another time a woman put her baby in its baby basket underneath the front seat. They could've smashed the baby's head with the drinks/food trolley.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                How the fuck do people fit such big things under the front seat? You hear of people putting pets and carry on bags there as well.
                I put my tiny 15L backpack there and I am already getting desperate because there is nowhere to put my legs in, and I am only 175cm. Do people not have legs or something?

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            don't bring the fucking baby on a plane in the first place

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >If I ever had a kid, you know what I would do? I'd say, hey, stop crying or we're getting off the plane, off the subway, out of the restaurant, leaving Disneyland, wherever the fuck we are, and walking home.
          Ah, yes. Infants understand language, naturally.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            They do, do you think you are talking to a fucking dog or something? Hell, even dogs understand emotions and body language to some point, and if they don't, something as simple as shouting or lightly smacking them gets the message across.
            This cope for your bad parenting and treating children like they're plants that need diapers is why they can't fucking behave.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              Don't care.
              I can tune my kid out when he's crying, it doesn't bother me. As a parent, seeing other parents get more and more stressed and cause more of a scene than just a crying baby just makes me sympathetic. It causes more of a scene than the original issue.

              You'll learn.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          .................bb............b.b.b.bbb.bbb
          bbb.bbb.bbb.bbbb..-b--bbb....
          .........
          BBBBBBBBBBAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEEEDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >tall fat guy
    >think i've found cheat code as i know the magic button to lift the aisle seat arm rest to slide my fat thigh underneath
    >take easyjet flight
    >secret button doesnt exist

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >the magic button
      Shut up about that button gay

  12. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    as a fat, emergency seat because it has the tray table in the armrest, is actually more narrow than a typical seat

  13. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >plane lands
    >everyone who is a fucking idiot stands up and frantically opens overhead compartments
    >people next to be trying to get out to do the same thing but I'm staying in my seat
    >fuckwits are stuck standing awkwardly for 20 minutes before the door opens

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >plane lands
      who is a fucking idiot stands up and frantically opens overhead compartments
      Some people have short connecting times you fucking idiot

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >thinks that if they stampede out of their seat, open the overhead bin, grab their roller bag then proceed to stand in the aisle for 20 minutes, it somehow makes deplaning faster.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          I actually always do this. (I always book an aisle seat so I can stretch my legs out and use the bathroom easier).

          I just like to stand up after sitting for so long. I also like to call a friend and have a loud conversation, using my bluetooth headphones, about how horrible the flight was and how my lingering COVID infection seems to be getting better.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            I wouldn't mind aisle seats so much if every fat walking down the aisle didn't make it a point to kick my foot or touch my shoulder with their blubber as they go drop their guts in the shitter

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              Or better yet, the girl in sweatpants with an enormous overstuffed backpack who blithely hits every person in the aisle as she passes

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        poor planning, not my problem

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah everyone who just arrived after a 10 hour flight to destination coutry has a connecting flight to get to

  14. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >plebs rushing to get on plane
    >plebs rushing to get off plane
    If you can afford a proper ticket you can casually stroll to the gate once they call you out by name and pick up your luggage without waiting after being the last to leave the plane while chatting up the crew.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I fly FC domestically and usually pick row 2 or 3 so i deliberately board last. saves me the bullshit of either waiting in line because one of the first 5 people to get on the plane always fuck it up and bottleneck the fuck out of the plane because they forgot how to deal with their luggage. and i dont have to deal with 220 crotches and asses in my face as the rest of the passengers walk past me.
      inb4
      >imagine not wanting 220 crotches and asses in your face.

  15. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >you get aerosinusitis

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >aerosinusitis
      Holy shit so that's what it is called
      >mfw I have a sinus infection and the plane starts descending and the excruciating pain fills ever fiber of my being

  16. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >displays all say on time
    >boarding was supposed to start 20 minutes ago, still says on time
    >at the original departure time the displays finally say delay of 30 minutes
    >after another 30 minutes still no update
    >finally start boarding 1 hour after original boarding time
    >boarding is complete, still nothing happens, sitting at gate
    >finally captain announces due to traffic we have to wait another 20 minutes at gate
    >finally leave 30 minutes after he said that
    >close to arrival start circling
    >this is the captain, due to traffic we have to wait another 20 minutes or so before landing

  17. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >friend is unpacking his stuff for security
    >bitchy hag security staff goes over and starts harassing him
    >friend pretends his retarded
    >hag gets embarrassed and apologises before helping friend through
    I couldn't believe it.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      kek, thats a good trick

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Heh

  18. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Sit down. Immediately start watching a movie on the in-flight entertainment. 27 announcement interpretations on a volume 3x what human ears can withstand

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      KEK
      and depending on what airline you fly on it's probably in a different language first, at least it is on Emirates so you get to hear the fuckloud safety and announcements in scary terrorist arabic language too

  19. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Sit in seat, person in front of me takes his sweaty feet out and outs his shoes under his seat - my foot space. Kick his shoes forward, receive death stare.

  20. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >that one white woman who starts fucking her dog in the bathroom
    i need to pee can you please hurry up

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Go to toilet. They're dirtiest breaks I've ever had. Estimated dump time - 30 minutes. Decide to smear the butthole with paper anyway. Arrive at destination with shit stains in underwear.

  21. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    after my last flight a few weeks back, i'm firmly in the 'buy two seats if you're a lardass' camp.
    i legit felt ripped off when i'm only able to use 3/4 of my own seat for the whole flight. at least it was an aisle seat on a short flight.

  22. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    somehow cell phone speakers have gotten loud enough to overcome the ambient noise on airplanes. that and airplanes have gotten significantly quieter.

    either way, its not a great combination.

  23. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Once hogged the lavatory to jerk off for 15 minutes 20 minutes before landing, queue was pissed when I came out

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      are you me?
      not to masturbate but to just piss everyone off.
      >go to lavatory. dont even need to use it just want to troll
      >15 min goes by
      > FA asks, sir? are you okay?
      >YES! I CANT HELP THAT IM TAKING A STICKY SHIT! ITS GONNA BE A WHILE!
      like OP said. it makes no sense why half the plane always needs to piss/shit the second the plane leaves the ground. Those are the people that say they dont need to go right before a trip and the second you pull out of the driveway
      >I NEED TO GO PEE!

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Are you like 16 or something? What kind of grown ass adult does something this stupid. Probably a LARP though.

  24. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't know how common this problem is, but I witnessed it on my last four flights.

    >use the lavatory
    >people have been discarding used paper towels in the wrong place
    >they're not putting it in the garbage receptacle
    >they're actually shoving it into the toilet seat liner dispenser
    What in the low IQ bumblefuck is this shit? I seriously hope this isn't a common occurrence.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      America or third world? Not like there's a difference these days.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        OFc it's 3rd worlders heading to the promise land. I've seen this shit too you would think they would include something in the instructions they give every fucking time you board a plane to teach these subhumans how to behave but no

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >you would think they would include something in the instructions

          Just on a flight with some 3rd world retard. They wiped their ass, didn’t flush it, put it hanging out the trash receptacle full of shit streaks.

          There needs to be a section of the flight introduction video on how to use the shitter.

          >There needs to be a section of the flight introduction video on how to use the shitter.
          kek I'm trying to imagine how they would even do that from a production standpoint.

          >"Please discard all used toilet paper in the toilet. Do not discard used toilet paper into the rubbish bin."
          >show a terrible 3D animation of a person with his pants down, wiping his ass & throwing his shit-tickets into the toilet
          >the toilet paper would have a brown streak to demonstrate that it is used

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Gonna start doing my part and carrying a roll of these stickers around.

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              phukken lold this should be in every bathroom worldwide

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              >shit-tickets

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              The only thing that would make it funnier is if those stickers stay on forever because the airline staff think they are real warning signs. Anon, you gotta place these stickers as neatly as possible to make it look more convincing. If I ever see one of these in my travels, I'll take a picture and post it in sighsee.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                ive never traveled to 3rd world, do the shitters really break down if you flush tp?

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Depends on the country and sometimes even the city. But yes, their plumbing and/or the sewage system is unable to handle flushed TP. They either discard TP in the bin, or they use 1-ply TP that can be flushed.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I certainly use less toilet paper here because plungers are not even a thing and I shit like a fucking elephant. Where I live the plumbing is so bad that you have to fill the toilet yourself with water from the sink.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                No idea. When I was in China I always flush tp in the shitter. Just looking at the bin makes me feel terrible.
                Bonus point: seeing women period pads unrolled, at full display, right on top of the pile of tp smeared with shit and piss. For fuck's sake.

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              >enter lavatory
              >see sticker
              >proceed to deposit the entire roll all at once into toilet.
              amidoinitrite?

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I could actually see that happening on a flight with lots of third-worlders on board.

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              This needs to have chinese language instructions or it won't work.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I agree that Chinese people are part of the problem since they have a habit of literally standing on non-squat toilets and breaking the seat off, but the sign shouldn't have any language by design because the people who can't use a toilet probably can't read in the first place.

                If you had chinese text on it, non-chinese thirdies just see "ah, this sign must only apply to chinese flights", or avoid the text altogether. Illiterate or generally stupid people are confused by any sort of letters, it stresses them out and makes them feel isolated because reading causes the strange sensation of cognition that they aren't used to.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Gonna start doing my part and carrying a roll of these stickers around.

            The fact that this is needed is the sad part.

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              they probably think the whole plane will go down if they clog he pipes

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                You can get your plane re-routed if you manage to disable all the toilets.

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              Side effect of mulatto underclasses multiplying

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                I think it has more to do with Turd Worlders flying than mulattos

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        My destination was third-world, but I had stopovers in the UK & Qatar.

        OFc it's 3rd worlders heading to the promise land. I've seen this shit too you would think they would include something in the instructions they give every fucking time you board a plane to teach these subhumans how to behave but no

        I thought a little diagram on the trash bin would be good enough, but goddamn, they really don't get it.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >shitskins are worthless, more at 11

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      haha just trolling all the wusses that need a toilet seat liner

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >not just squatting on the toilet seat so your feet touch the butt zone
      NGMI

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >using the lavatory unironically
      miss me with that shit famalam, I would rather shit my pants

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        thats what the sickness bag is for in your seat pocket

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Just on a flight with some 3rd world retard. They wiped their ass, didn’t flush it, put it hanging out the trash receptacle full of shit streaks.

      There needs to be a section of the flight introduction video on how to use the shitter.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        if you fly domestically in india, there is
        unfortunately people still ignore it sometimes

  25. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >only booking 1 handluggage item
    >screaming at the staff why they wont allow you on board with 2 trolley and a backbag
    sigh....is reading that hard?

  26. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >sit next to someone who is a first time flyer
    >they act like you should know everything regarding the airline and this specific flight

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      If they sat next to me, they'd be in luck, because I'm an airplane autist.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        I'm fine with giving a little information from what I know but hate shit like this
        >someone who doesn't speak english asks you how to fill out their customs form for landing while their customs form is in their language
        >get asked when food is and what it's like on this plane
        >dropping off bag get stopped by someone asking how to use the machines when an agent is right there
        >help someone find what boarding group/zone they are in, they still walk up when first class/priority is boarding and look confused
        >show someone how to use the inflight tracker, still get asked when the plane is landing
        >stuck on tarmak for some reason, person venting to you about it and wonder what's going to be done like you know something

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >dropping off bag get stopped by someone asking how to use the machines when an agent is right there
          happens damn near every time i fly now.
          >use check in kiosk.
          >enter basic identifying info
          >enter confirmation code provided on receipt/email/app
          >scan QR code on phone
          >receive baggage ticket
          >complete process under 60 seconds.
          >person next to me "Can you show me how you did that?"
          >no.

  27. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >go to bathroom
    >the occupied/vacant message is set at half/half
    >knock on door loudly
    >no answer
    >open door
    >woman on toilet shouts NO NO NO NO NO
    >swiftly close door
    >pretty sure everyone in economy class saw that happen
    >walk to next bathroom

  28. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >check in for inter-asia flight
    >clerk sees I’m white
    >without talking, upgrades me to emergency exit seat as I will no-doubt be the tallest person on the flight by far

  29. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Phones were banned so that people might pay attention to the saftey information

  30. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    At this point I don't blame people for being confused when it comes to TSA. Every airport seems to operate differently about whether you need shoes on, whether or not each laptop and tablet needs its own tray, whether shoes need its own tray, etc.

    My TSA pre check expired shortly before moving overseas so I had to use the normal line. I politely ask if my shoes needed their own tray and the miserable fucking guy working gave me so much attitude I asked if he was alright. Told me he could get me thrown off the plane if he wanted to, gave him a nice little chuckle and went about my day. FYI you can email airline's/airports and complain about this type of shit and usually they'll give you something in return.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      i guess i've most recently only flown thru miami or nyc airports, but TSA is always so loud and curt with everyone compared a dozens of other countries i've been to
      i guess they get all the non-english speakers at those airports maybe they are weary of their job

  31. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't see many of these because I only fly first class. Is this how the poors behave?

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I don't see many of these because I only fly first class. Is this how the poors behave?
      There is no real difference, after flying business and first for a while it's just a different form of assholishness.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      see

      before all the first class boomers while they glare
      >>Get first dibs on overhead bins so no fighting for space or gay gate check ever

      Ha, I've got one.

      >have first class ticket in the front row
      >first boarding group
      >another FC passenger at the back of first class shoves his shit above my seat in that mini bin that only fits 2 bags right before I get to my seat
      >I pull his shit down, set it in the aisle, and announce that he's left his luggage above the first row, and I don't have under-seat storage
      >sit
      >FC flight attendant laughs
      >guy grabs his shit that I left in the aisle and takes it back to row 5 or 6 where he is

      FFS, we're all in first class anyway, why be a dickhead? It's not like there's any reason for us to fight for bin space.

  32. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >NOW BOARDING ZONE NUMBER ONE CHILDREN RETARDS INFANTS OLD PEOPLE VETERANS

    >200 people lined up crowding the gate

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      prove im not a retard, i dare you

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        fukken kek, imma try this next time.

  33. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >trip over
    >Head to airport
    >Start hearing people talk, complain and curse in your native language
    >Day ruined
    It's the drunk for every flight Finnish boomer assholes for me.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Don't forget your local airport making you long for your trip within minutes of being back.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        > come back from east asia and its clean airports, nice staff and modern equipment
        > land in europe, everything filthy and old, unfriendly staff and toilet reek
        > should have never come back

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's impressive how thoroughly asia's airports and airlines mog the rest of the world's.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          I was surprised how smelly and dirty some of Europe is. America is a burgerpunk shithole but at least we clean up after ourselves

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Frankfurt is pretty terrible, but at least it's not Newark.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >live abroad for 3 years
          >return home to France via Charles de Gaulle airport
          >suddenly reminded that 20% of France is now low-IQ Arabs when I see the airport staff
          They look terrible (ugly), sound terrible and are rude.

  34. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >heh, nothing personal kid

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      You'll have the staff telling you to remove those in no time.

  35. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    the meme I hate the most is people complaining about reclining
    first off, it's your chair. you paid for a reclining seat
    and the seats are absurdly vertical to begin with. ALL the seats should be reclined even more, to make it even possible to fall asleep.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      If you want to sleep pay for a business class ticket.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        yeah let me pay $1000 to sleep
        nice input r*ddit period poster

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        i prefer to suffer

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Nah, I'll just take my 3in of recline. Don't give AF

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        If you dont want to be bothered by the person in front of you reclining, buy a buisness class ticket

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      t. Manlet

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        This is an example of manlet rage

        you're the one raging about airplane seats
        only makes me want to recline even more

        and seats without someone in front of you aren't even expensive. it's like a $20 upgrade

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Just keep chanting 'grow, grow, grow.'

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            ok you win. you are le based for whining about airline seats like a fatass

  36. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hello sighsee what is the name of that site where you can buy last minute flights quite cheap? Like it only has a certain number of flights on but its quite a decent price.
    It doesn't really matter where but I want to get away tomorrow or saturday.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      need this, any luck?

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        sadly no
        i swear i used it about 3 or 4 years ago

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Cheap-o-air

  37. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Idk why, everytime I get on a flight I need to take a giant emergency diarrhea shit. It never matters how careful I am about eating before the flight or how many times I use the restroom before the flight, the second that plane takes off Im counting down the seconds until the seatbelt sign comes off

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      take some pepto, bung it up

  38. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    on a flight to albania i had a parents playing those youtube nursery rhymes from youtube the whole way...

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      is it cultural or just sociopathy to have no shame playing noise out loud in public?

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        low IQ is indistinguishable from sociopathy. They don't have the mental capability to imagine that being loud in public would affect other people, and can't imagine how others pain and discomfort as their own.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Explains why it's always blacks on any form of transportation who listen to things without head phones

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      it was either that or a baby crying all the way

  39. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Any pilots on here? Thinking about training to be an airline pilot, it’s either that or joining the military.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      sup? /n/igger in training here. There is an general aviation general or /gag/ on /n/ that has guys in the regional and major airlines. If you go military, you gotta have a natural 20/20 to be a fighter pilot or correctable for anything else. But once you serve your time, you are given priority in the airlines. Part 61 schools will have your ATP cert granted after 1500 hours and part 41 schools get ATP cert after 1000 hours, though it's restricted. Any other questions, stop on by /gag/ on /n/.

  40. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >put a fuckton of various content on my tablet so i don't get bored
    >4-5 hours into flight im bored of everything and don't feel like watching/reading a single thing
    why, it's so aids

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      practice hate meditation against your boredom and discomfort being on a flight

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        my flight is in 2 days, i think ill just take some xanax before boarding

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          one time on a transatlantic flight - take off at local night time, once the lights went down a guy was standing i the aisle waiting for toilets, leaning on the wall - but it was waiting on some boomer taking a 10minute pee, then he slumped over and fell on the ground pissed himself.
          took a while for flight attendants to get to him.
          i always assumed it was sleeping pills. it could have been alcohol but he didnt seem like pass out in the aisle level drunk. they got him into a chair and flight continued normally.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          xanax on flights is risky, you can easily sleep the whole thing

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            whats bad about that? id kill to fall asleep at the start of a 10 hour flight and wake up when its over

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              You've never gotten up in the middle of the dark flight hours and grabbed a hot girls tits? You'll never make it.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                greentext nao

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                He's obviously larping.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            That's why you do it, last time I took it after takeoff, kicks in proper about when the food comes, eat up, close my eyes a bit and boom it is 10 hours later.

  41. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >last on plane
    >grab overhead bag
    >cute flight attendant chick offers to help
    >pulling the bag with one hand because i just woke up, all the other passangers had left
    >the bag hits her on the head
    >she is nice about it and understands accidents happen
    i felt really bad about that but she didn't mind the accident and let me off without shouting at me, shouldn't have grabbed it like that tbh it was loose

  42. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Person behind me complains about reclining my seat

    Not my problem

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Purposely acting like a disrespectful moron

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      This. I'm pretty sure that reclining seats are designed to recline. Get mad at Boeing's aeronautical engineering project director buddy. I'm just using the seat how he intended me to use it.
      >waits until passenger behind me gets served dinner. Fully recline seat to enjoy meal.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Whenever I recline my seat some white American backpack roastie will just rest her knees on the back of it and shuffle the entire flight. Almost not worth reclining. Fucking hate white American chicks, they're just as bad as the chinks and pajeets on flights

  43. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >get on plane
    >family tries to play musical chairs to all sit together
    >offer to move if I can swap to an isle or window
    >get told no because X wants to look outside and Y needs leg room
    >they complain off and on about how airlines suck
    or
    >large family, group,etc board plane
    >all just pick randomly the seats
    >they all filled up your row and the others
    >explain it's that they are in your seat
    >WOT?
    >explain ticket has a seat number, point to seating numbers
    >OH WELL LAD JUST TAKE MY SEAT IT'S EHHHH 27E
    >no have a short connection besides your friends are all in the wrong seat all the way up in 10C
    >they get mad and want to try and argue with the staff holding the line up

  44. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Canadian air travel right now is a nightmare
    >massive international airport
    >one line for security

    >have terminal kiosk for check in and ticket printing
    >requires all passengers to go to counter to check vaccine
    >only has 2 windows open and they are always on the phone.

    >have one security line
    >hold everyone up to check the exact same info multiple times
    >despite always being the same line

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      can't let those filthy truckers win

  45. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    i hate Flyertalk but gate lice is a good descriptor.
    Also gay poorfags flying Discounters with 390 people in line clogging up me Flughafen

  46. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    So I can be a lying moron and claim to be military?

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yes. You definitely can and should.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      There is essentially no risk, the worst thing that can happen is being told no.
      You can even pretend to have misunderstood in that case in case you're not that brazen.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >You can even pretend to have misunderstood
        "sorry i thought you said paramilitary"

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Like I said earlier, it's for active duty. Yo bro here is Air Guard so I'm hardly military and I board all the time during it so I can crop dust my way through business class right before those rich fags board. I never have my ID checked, it truly is the best travel hack that all the blogfags haven't caught onto yet

  47. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >have to put shoes in bin
    >shoe cooties contaminate all your stuff you handle with hands

  48. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >eastern europeans harass the attendant for more alcohol
    >suHispanicious indian man with 10 seperate passports

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      europeans harass the attendant for more alcohol
      Literally me

  49. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I like to check the upgrade lists when i get to the gate. Ive noticed that over the years the lists have gotten bigger. flight last month, 89 people were trying to upgrade to 1st class. How many seats were open in first? 1. guess those youtube videos about 10 FLIGHT HACKS AIRLINES DONT WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT! have made their rounds and everyone now thinks that they can buy a basic economy seat and they will get upgraded by simply putting in for it.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I've also noticed that a shitton of more people are trying to fly standby. All the flights I've had in the past year have always had a page or two full of people flying standby. Before COVID shit, it used to just be one or two people.

  50. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >sit in aisle seat
    >old fuck walks down the aisle to the bathroom
    >they grab my headrest like it's a handrail
    >they shake the fuck out of it
    >they do it again on the way back
    every fucking time

  51. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >overnight flight
    >rough turbulence entire time
    >morning announcement "we hope you managed to get some sleep during the flight"
    fuck no i spent the entire time wide eyed, gripping the armrests with white knuckles and i think i shat myself

  52. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >the British guy asked for a beer from the trolley.
    >workie has to go all the way back to the locker to get one as it's the breakfast trolley
    >everyone delayed in getting their breakfast

    IT WAS ME AUSTIN!

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      What's the point of flying if you can't get drunk in the morning?

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Is "workie" not a uniquely British word

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          I think it might be. In America we say 'having one for the road', or 'daydrinking', but I've never heard of a 'workie'.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      That's always happens to me. Always make sure to be lovely and nice to the attendant, while everyone behind me seethes. Extra points by giving small talk

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Being nice to the flight attendant can almost feel like an upgrade. The "premium" food and beverage options can become free. I've gotten the cheese trays, snack boxes, multiple mini-liquor bottles, the whole works.

  53. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >board late because first class and to avoid the pleb parade
    >someone in my seat
    >you're in my seat ma'am
    >here's my ticket. im sitting with my friend. we can trade
    >iknowthistrick.exe
    >No.
    >OMG! how rude! im not getting up!
    >flight attendant investigates sudden angry noises
    >show my ticket.
    >"ma'am you need to sit in your assigned seat"
    >im flying with my friend! im not getting up!
    >friend starts chirping "You upgraded me but not my friend! its not fair she has to sit in the back!"
    >Attendant: im not doing this shit with you today face. gets captain
    >captain walks up looking like a human grape ape "The flight is now delayed. You both have 2 choices. sit where you're supposed to, or get escorted off"
    >the pair cross their arms and sit in what they think is stoic silence
    >captain goes to cockpit. I go to galley
    >police show up 5 min later
    >both bitches get escorted off flight bawwing their eyes out.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Amazing how some people actually think you would change seats with them from first to pleb.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        they do it because if often just works, a lot of people are too weak to say no

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          In what world would someone give up their first class seat for a pleb seat? In the next row in same class sure. But downgrading voluntarily to pleb class? No way anyone would do this.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            >In what world would someone give up their first class seat for a pleb seat?
            a world with a lot of people too afraid to say no

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              I don't think you live in the same world the rest of us do. Absolutely nobody is "too afraid to say no" when some retarded cunt is trying to steal your paid for superior seat.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >a lot of people are too weak to say no
          this.
          a lot of people also dont understand the power of "No." In most situations where a simple "no." will resolve the matter, the discussion turns into a debate or a negotiation. Most people have forgotten to use No as it was intended. as an end to the discussion. It means finality. Pay attention the next time someone tells you no. They will explain the no giving you ground to further argue your case. NEVER EXPLAIN THE NO. its just, "No."

          In what world would someone give up their first class seat for a pleb seat? In the next row in same class sure. But downgrading voluntarily to pleb class? No way anyone would do this.

          >In what world would someone give up their first class seat for a pleb seat?
          a simp would.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      hahaah fucking whores

  54. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've only ever flown domestically within Norway, and honestly it's always been a dream. I guess it's international travel where the shenanigans happen?

  55. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Flying in America
    >Cabin Crew announces there's a soldier on board
    >Entire plane bursts into applause

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      americlaps, why...?

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        thanking him for his service as i imagine i would have been a badass soldier myself i i had only tried, but i will honor my theoretical brothers in arms with the respect we deserve

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >THANK YOU FUR YER SERVECE

  56. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Ex and I going on trip and will be using airport parking
    >enter long term cheap parking area
    >drive all the way to the back where no cars are
    >anon, What are you doing?
    >getting a parking spot.
    >Anon! what the actual fuck!? why are we parking way the fuck back here!?
    >because im not cruising the front of the lot for 30 minutes trying to find a spot. All the open spots are right here, it will only take us 5 minutes to get to the checkin
    >FIVE MINUTES!? YOU ARE LITERALLY STUPID! we are a mile away from the fucking entrance! im not walking that far!
    >Thats okay. the shuttle is right there.
    >What do you mea....
    she was not the sharpest tool. Clear case of someone getting by in life on looks and simpery.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      my dad loved doing the move of insisting on dropping off wife and kids at the entrance of wherever, such as a long term parking, and driving way to the back.
      i dont think it was just to be polite and have stress free parking, maybe he enjoyed the 5min quiet

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I do the same thing.. problem is you always have some fuckknuckle in a camry parked hard up against the drivers door

  57. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >no classes
    >sit in any empty seat you want
    >far above average legroom
    I LOVE THESE gayS

  58. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Flight in Africa. Everyone brings their whole household to the check-in counter, which includes about 8 pieces of luggage.
    Gibberish yelling throughout the whole process. Me bringing only 2 pieces without any kind of bullshit.
    My luggage gets lost on arrival

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