>Convert to Islam
>Spend 8 years in country of choice (saudi arabia preferably as salafism exports itself better, but you can always pretend you're not a salafi, no need to be a hardliner) studying the scriptures, learning the quran by heart, and overall having a good time
>Become a well versed respected scholar
>Can earn upwards of 200usd/hour of consultation online + money as a "minister"(imam) of a mosque + punctual expertise sessions and invitations to paid conferences.
>As you are a beloved member of islam by muslims, go to your SEA country of choice
>Find a woman in the poorer more fanatic areas of SEA
>Be upfront with your desire of marrying a second wife
>You're filthy fricking rich so the poor girls will just say yes
>You now have four wives, which you can get bored off and divorce, condoms are halal in islam, and alimony will cost a fricking penny.
>If you're tired of paying alimony just leave and go to another place, which brings me to the next point
>You're a literal salafi cheikh, nobody will give a frick if you don't pay alimony as it is almost expected of you to disregard the laws of the country for sharia law (and sharia law doesn't include alimony, only repayment of the dowry)
>If you lose popularity or you get bored of a certain type of pussy simply rinse and repeat in another country
>Buy gigantic house
>Alimony or not, invite all male sons in your house, make them work to send money to their mothers (your ex wives)
>Create a literal tribe of strong men dedicated to upholding your honor and taking care of you just as you took care of them
>Retire
>Be cared for by your tribe of Banu Furchan
>Die
>High-five Gabriel as you enter Heaven
Why wouldn't it work? Seriously. Fool proof cooming.
when you die your coomer tendendies will be well known during judgement day and you burn in hell forever. cant hide from allah, son
As long as its within a marriage you can frick as much as you want.
Great american-specific comment, moron.
do you have any idea how much cooming Muhammad did? Dude gave himself an exemption on the 4 wife limit, had a frickton of wives and banged them all every night
>The Prophet (ﷺ) used to pass by/ go round (have sexual relation with) all his wives in one night, and at that time he had nine wives
>Why wouldn't it work?
Because you won't do it.
the no beer no bacon thing is kind of a deal breaker for me.
Allah be my witness, I have tried pretty much every drug under the sun, and booze is the fricking worst. Being tipsy isn't great, being drunk makes you look like a dumbfrick, and you can have all the fun you want without drinking a drop.
You revert from a muslim's point of view, who thus holds as an axiom that what you said is true (because they're muslims)
But as someone who doesn't believe and does not care about what Allah says because it's completely made up, you have converted. I am not going to call myself an "infidel" either because that would imply that I would acknowledge that there is a being I should be faithful towards.
There is nothing more annoying than religious people trying to impose their belief systems and nomenclatures.
>spend 2 years at a Community college for an AAS and Security+ and Network Cert
>get job running cable off usajobs.gov
>make 200k/yr for sitting on base 90% of the time waiting for something to happen
>retire after 4-6 years with nice house in the country and tons of money to lure in a decent girl
wow so hard
Wow
>Get lots of money
>Dont spend it on anything worthwhile while you're young
>retire now that you're an old fart
>die
Lol
You could do all this being some other wacky type of religious person and keep your beer and bacon rights, plus not risk one of your sons getting radicalized and your home compound being wiped out in a specops raid.
Seriously, no offence to Muslims or any other religious types, but only a lonely or desperate person takes up a religion they weren't born into.
>You could do all this being some other wacky type of religious person
Good luck finding a cult or a religion that will allow you to make upwards of 500 USD an hour giving legal consults with no fear of any reprisals ever, legal or otherwise, due to you doing what is actually considered a service to the community.
>plus not risk one of your sons getting radicalized
Nonsense. Islam is around a billion strong, terrorists are simply but outliers in the face of that fact. Also, what people do not know is that salafism is extremely quietist. True salafis make a point to always obey their political leaders and follow the law.
>wiped out in a specops raid.
Why would that happen ?
>only a lonely or desperate person takes up a religion they weren't born into.
This statement is so moronic it hurts, regardless of the religion at hand. I am certain that what you call desperation is simply the ability to not be content with your current mediocre state.
Anyone who's ever done anything in the history of mankind asked themselves whether there was more to life than what they currently witnessed. There is nothing more lonely or desperate than an isolated pentecostal congregation thinking they figured it all out while acting like literal satanists.
Your a degenerate horny sleezeball who wants to take advantage of people for your own pleasure. Religions are full of people like you. If you get caught and go to prison, you'll act holier than thou, but the moment you're out you'll go back to taking advantage of people for your own self-interests. If there is a heaven, there's no place in it for you.
>Religions are full of people like you.
Religions are full of rapists, manipulators, and sex traffickers who manufacture consent from peer pressure and conditioning.
I would be none of the above. Everything would be consensual. I will right off the bat disclose my intentions of marrying four wives, and should any of the wives disagree, then they're free to go. Hell, i'll allow them to work. And according to shariah law, every cent they earn is their own money, whereas I am supposed to provide and care for the entire family. And I will, as long as we are married.
Islam not only allows, but actively encourages marital sex. It isn't lust if it's your wives.
I don't see you making the same kind of comment about people who are actively advocating for the sollicitation of sex traffickers in SEA. I, on the contrary, would provide these women a life free of such horrors.
> beer and bacon rights
I don't eat meat much, and while I might miss the occasional charcuterie, beef, mutton and poultry is enough variety for me.
As for alcohol, I stopped drinking that shit since uni. I know how to have fun without using a crutch, and I have learned to cherish my hangover free mornings.
>plus not risk one of your sons getting radicalized and your home compound being wiped out in a specops raid.
Like the other guy said, the Muslim world is immense and pretty much every country will have hundreds, if not thousands of said scholars studying the religion at any given day. These people are basically the equivalent of judges/magistrates since Islam governs all aspects of life, not just spiritual ones. Most of them focus on non-political, mundane affairs, with a heavy focus on personal cases. You do not risk anything unless you are engaging in political discussions. Which I obviously won't.
The frick. I hope one of those “poor girls” poison you.
You don't "convert" to Islam, you "revert." Muslims believe that everyone is Muslim by default, and that anyone who currently doesn't practice Islam is just lost in their ways. A non-Muslim who becomes Muslim is considered to have reverted, not converted.
Y'all homies would worship Satan for Asian pussy.
Islam, in idea, is a religion that promotes the belief in the monotheism of the Abrahamic God. By all standards according to the old Testament, at the very least, Islam follows the 7 laws of Noah, and never would Satan in his right mind advocate for a religion that does precisely that.
As for Christianity, the only thing Islam diverges in is the divinity of Christ. As for the rest, Islam is just a stricter subset of Christianity in terms of common practices : prayers become compulsory, as is charity and fasting. If Jesus met a muslim, he'd probably tell him to chill, but nothing more.
If Satan wanted to seduce man into straying away from God, he wouldn't make up a religion that is way more complicated than Christianity. It would do what globohomosexual does today, which works really well on everyone, muslims included.
Christ = God, Islam strays men from Christ therefore it strays men from God. In any case I didn't mean Islam was Satanic I was just saying that in general this sub would worship Satan if it got them some Asian pussy. Whether Islam is satanic or not I don't know, I don't like to bash other main religions because I know many good people who follow them but of course I believe it is not the right way.
You must have a genuine love of Islam to spend eight years studying it. Expecting to get rich as an Islamic scholar is foolish, IMO. And remember, even if you do make a comfortable living as a scholar, you will still be far poorer than most of the oil Arabs who cruise the world hunting for pussy. Ignoring a country's divorce laws can get you in deep shit, even if the country is Muslim majority. "muh sharia" is not a legal defense.
>You must have a genuine love of Islam to spend eight years studying it.
You just need dedication, just like as in any field ever. Lots of people spend far more years studying a field that isn't bogus.
>Expecting to get rich as an Islamic scholar is foolish, IMO
If you're an anglophone cheikh you will earn a lot of money. Islamic consults range from 100 to 300 bucks for an hour. If you look clean and can convey the idea that you will have a moderate, consensual opinion and isn't pretending to be something you're not, you'll get customers.
You can also have a youtube channel, and be the imam of a mosque. Most imams receive around 30k a year provided they lead the 5 daily prayers, lead the friday sermon, and pray the extended ramadan nightly prayers. Which leaves a lot of free time in between to do consults, teach classes, etc.
> you will still be far poorer than most of the oil Arabs who cruise the world hunting for pussy.
I will be poorer than a billionaire, sure, but the comparison is irrelevant. Rather, you should consider the following : Provided a you only do 15 sessions per week (7 hours of work, basically,) you are getting 72k a year working on a fully remote basis, which basically puts you at doctor-levels of salaries in every country except the US. Which is more than reasonable for a career start, as you make a name for yourself and people start hearing about you. A 35 hour workload could get you upwards of 300k USD.
Add to that a supplementary stipend as a minister/teacher.
> Ignoring a country's divorce laws can get you in deep shit, even if the country is Muslim majority.
Like I said, once you get tired of paying alimony, you can always get the frick out. As long as you're mindful of extradition deals, you'll be fine. "Muh shariah" is merely a way to not get cancelled by the muslims.
>be rich
>things happen
>die as everyone else