Anyone else have the experience of traveling as an autistic social retard who clearly didn't have the social skills needed?
This summer I backpacked through southern and central Europe, staying in hostels the whole time, and it was the most painful experience of my life.
I embarressed myself socially at literally every single hostel and with all the people I talked to. Made zero friends and was really lonely the whole time. Had panic over talking to natives, did it anyways and totally embarressed myself more.
I'm never leaving my room ever again
Theres no refund on my plane ticket so I'll go get the embarrassing experiences I paid for.
I’m sorry anon, do you mind elaborating what you are saying? Could be in your head. I honestly wouldn’t mind if someone made a telegram group for this board, and we can find like minded spergs to travel with.
Kek, op is a larp and this queer
is a Fed they deserve each other
I need to say this because you are a fellow social autist like myself:
Stop caring about what people think. I know it's hard but practice makes improvement.
>But I'm so much behind everybody else
So what? You have one life. What are you going to do while you're here? Moping about some minor social hiccups that the other guy/girl won't even remember after 5 minutes?
Making mistakes in social situations are normal and should be viewed as normal. Of course mistakes are not ideal, but you should only see the realistic negatives, not the imagined negatives. Example:
>I was awkward in a job interview and didn't get the job
Actual negative: didn't get the job
Imagined negative: oh I'm such an embarrassment. The interviewer is probably having a laugh with his colleagues. If I was Chad I would've got the position.
Remember that we suffer more in imagination than in reality - some philosopher that I don't know the name of on the top of my head.
Hope you read this anon. God bless
>Stop caring about what people think
Only choice for autistic retards who can't hide it
>some philosopher that I don't know the name of on the top of my head.
Seneca: "There are more things likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality."
Stayed at a hostel recently, first trip since 2019.
Used to meet people easily. Honestly, I just wanted to be alone this time. As you get older your patience with others gets smaller.
I did meet one guy who must be a sperg. Wore pokemon clothing and talked like a redditor. Awful cunt.
I find myself like this too nowadays. When I traveled pre-pandemic, especially from 2015-2019, I was extremely pro-social, wanted to meet other travelers/locals, wanted to party, wanted to get laid, wanted to go out all the time both day and night, etc etc. But I think all the wear and tear these past 3 years during the pandemic with social isolation, stress and just all around losing faith in humanity has embedded itself deeply inside me by now and I virtually have 0 desire these days for social contact, going out, meeting women or making friends. I took an extended trip to Europe by myself last year, my first real vacation since the pre-pandemic days, and did nothing but stay at Airbnb's, walk around and look at stuff, exercise, go to bed early, eat good food, educated myself about finance and occasionally stream some movies- and yes, sometimes it was boring but it was also very peaceful and very productive as well. Not even sure how much I miss the "social grind" of the pre-pandemic days.
Yep that's me exactly. I'd like to have great times with new friends from far away places, but fuck, I can't be bothered.
I think you have to be socially aggressive these days. People don't know how to interact anymore.
It is hard to tell if a lot of people want to be left alone or are just waiting for someone to talk to them, so trial and error and autism is needed rather than reading the room.
If this is not a LARP
>You travelled to Europe
>You stayed in hostels
>You talked to people
None of that is autistic or spergy behaviour - just by doing it you're doing better than 99.9% of people
Also who gives a shit if you made a fool of yourself? You'll never see those people again so it's all practice.
This is why I'm not interested in backpacking/hostel travelling. I'm not even autistic or socially awkward, normal people and weirdos just ruin my vibes. Normal people are either too dull and self-absorbed to hold a conversation, sexual deviants/creeps or are those way too energetic types that ruin chill vibes. Weirdos are just too weird/awkward and creepy.
imagine thinking the thing on the right is attractive in any way
What autismos is don’t seem to understand is that with enough practise even they can become a pseudo-normie because you basically learn what normies talk about and what the correct response is. Like learning lines as an actor. You you will fuck up every now and again but hostels are the best for this because I guarantee you will never see those people again so who’s gives a fuck? You then take the experience and what you learned and practise on the next group of normies at the next hostel.
Only normies can socialise naturally but then they are cursed in other ways. You need to learn to channel your autism productively.
Normies are really just animals that all react to stimuli the same way. An autist can easily figure out their algorithm with enough practice.
The difference between you and 'normies' is that you haven't practised socialising as much. Start practising.
Lmao that's like saying a black can learn how to do math or swim if they practice
They absolutely can.
not really, they can only give their kids a chance by breeding with non blacks.
He is right though, basically everyone goes through those hyper cringe moments on the path to being socially well adjusted, it just usually happens at an age and period of their lives when their peers are also doing hyper cringe shit so it isn't as awkward. Unless you are legitimately autistic though, but then you have license to be socially unaware.
That's obviously wrong. Some people are born very social, some are born autists.
Socialising is literally just a skill
And yeah like all skills some people are naturally better at it than others and some people will struggle but if you practice you will improve
this is true you do "learn". i never imagined I could strike conversations with total strangers until I just started to do it. sadly there's no shortcuts or ways to ease into it, you just got to start doing it. only experience will lessen anxiety.
Stop being hard on yourself. You're trip went exactly the way it was supposed to go. Embarrassments and all. You're not looking at it the right way, you need to understand everything that happened in a different way. What good things did it teach you about yourself? How did it make you a better version of yourself. If it weren't for that trip then you wouldn't know what to on you're next trip. It's like falling off a bike dude, just get back up.
Man that's crazy you tried to force yourself into that situation. I'm a total sperg but I know my limits so I eased myself into social travel over the course of several years. Fine now, charming and popular even, but it took deliberate sustained effort for almost 8 years to fix my autism problems.
Like says OP, it takes time. The most liberating bit of advice I've ever heard is that its impossible to master anything while looking cool, and that particularly goes for social interactions. You remember that time several months ago where a shy person fumbled his words making small talk and trailed off, ending the interaction awkwardly? Neither does anyone else. I recently took a job where I'm interacting a lot more both with the public and with coworkers socially and while there are moments that made me cringe for a bit at the time, all the bombed jokes and poorly articulated comments have helped me become more and more natural in conversation over time. You have nothing to worry about OP, just remember that you lose more by not talking at all than by occasionally being awkward around people whose opinions won't ever affect you, and ffs don't fall into gay self pity and despair bc thats retarded and creates a self fulfilling prophecy. The fact that you put yourself in that situation in the first place immediately puts you ahead of so many people even spergier than youself who managed to change themselves; have a degree of faith in yourself, keep working at it intelligently, and enjoy the process of developing your social skills rather than only focusing on the end point and you'll be fine.
I'm not sure what you mean. When I went backpacking I made a lot of friends and had sex with 6 different women and 1 chud. Each time was in a hostel except for one woman who was homeless and living under a bridge.
Lol I had this exact same experience when I was 22 it was awful honestly. There was one day in Italy where I didn't go out because I was so embarrassed, anxious, and ashamed after attempting to talk to an Australian girl at the hostel bar the previous night. I'm getting chills now, just thinking about all of the embarrassing shit I did.
The world wasn't made for guys like us.
Maybe you should quit trying to do what garden gnomes tell you you should be doing. Do what you want just be yourself quit forcing things that don't feel right. You aren't a normie and never will be so find your own niche or path
imagine this happening except in your early 30s...
You're right but I was so desperate for pussy and female attention back then. It's a biological need pretty much, especially at that age. I've accepted my fate and moved on since then.
go to the middle east and it's an advantage. everyone seems friendly there but they're all trying to scam tourists so inability to follow social cues basically makes you immune.
also don't stay in hostels retard.
The only cure for autism is the rope. End it now.
>traveling as an autistic social retard who clearly didn't have the social skills needed
you should visit egypt
vid related: https://youtu.be/rijybnbKDBk?t=12097
Just drink heavily autistbros.
This is the key, drugs are a necessity if you want to interact with normies as an autist/sperg, OP
t. assburgers that uses travelling as a form of escapism
I never understood the appeal of meeting people at hostels. Most people are fucking insufferable. Its much better to just stroke about, get buzzed and let the world come to you when it wants to. Get a nice hotel room with a spa or at least a nice tub, get some books, some podcast, some good movies, food and just chillout. Maybe go to a bar and talk to the bartender and who knows if a local roastie might have a talk with you.
Hostel culture is awful, young people travelling are awful
I personally enjoy hearing some of the retarded shit people do. Like the dude terrified of fruit in mexico.
Yeah happens every trip, I just stay alone and look but don't talk
Just get on dating apps autismos. It's a good free self esteem boost and some local girls will even message you first.
I got 40 matches on tinder and probably another 50 on bumble in a week in a 3rd world country.
I'm a 5 at best and I never tried apps in my home country but I assume that there I would probably get 1-2 if I'm lucky. The foreigner effect is a thing and you should use it to hone your game and perhaps meet cuties.
This works even if you don't have tism
I'm too ugly for dating apps, not in 3rd world but got next to no matches in Europe as an Australian.
Getting matches in third world countries where the women see you as nothing more than an ATM or a potential greencard to the west isnt really that much of a confidence boost.
It’s a transactional relationship rather than one of lust
NTA but all relationships are transactional. It's just that in the west you have a lot less to offer as an average man. It is very rare for a woman (who isn't a teenager) to be driven purely by lust.
Also it depends. Although most of my matches in the 3rd world are from thirdies, I do get the occasional match with a 1st world roastie. I just have hyper autism and can't put myself on dating apps in my home town because I have a fear someone I know will see me.
I know it's an irrational fear (haha look at anon, he's trying to get laid lmao) but it is still there and causes me anxiety
My problem is I tend to get exhausted of people. Or sick eventually (long trips). So after two weeks I end up not being as fun until I get a spark
autistic retard incel here
I travel to see nice cities and have sex with prostitutes. I walk around old european cities looking like a retard tourist, drink eat am merry. I don't make friend, I seldom talk to stranger. It does happen and it's nice when it happens, but I've long ago given up on "making friends in a foreign land"
I come back rested, tanned, sligtly thinner with blisters on my toes.
I traveled to Europe 2 years ago and I still cringe at all my interactions when I'm in the shower to this day.
I can be your friend if you teach me advanced English
The original autist Triplett had amazing solo travel experiences
autistic sperg here
my best vacation was when I went to a hotel alone and the entire week spoke with nobody except the hotel reception staff. I would spend my time just walking around the town, sitting at the beach staring at the sea or watching anime in my hotel room. It was perfect 10/10. Almost felt at peace.
Now I plan to do it again only for longer and see more places. Alone, avoiding people as much as possible, just walking and taking photos. As long as you dress nicely, keep yourself clean and just smile whenever stranger asks you something you will attract literally zero attention and be almost invisible to NPCs. Key is to ignore all the normie bullshit about "meeting people", "partying" and definitely avoid hostels.
This dude right here.
That's how you do solo traveling.
Why the FUCK do you *need* to interact with other people? You come to the hostel, talk to the receptionist for 5 minutes to pay, get your room assigned and find out the internet password.
After that why would you even bother with other people? You come in, put on a more or less acceptable smile and just say "Hi", then proceed with your business.
Someone tries to speak with you? It's up to you, I don't really try to brush them off, just do the minimum to keep the conversation going until they get tired and leave.
There's google maps, there's GPS, there's cheap mobile internet at every airport or kiosk. I did need to ask around for help during my first trips, after getting some milleage I just learned to figure everything out myself, even when I fail to figure it out/fuck up and end up getting lost or something I just keep walking until I find my way and it all just adds to the experience.
The thing about "making friends" while traveling is a fucking lie because there's no friendship to be made there, just people looking for parties, booze and getting laid (they could easily do it without leaving their home country, but alas), all of which I personally don't give a fuck when I'm traveling. These people are a waste of time.
Literally me, this post made me smile
Pic related, I had a spergy obsession with Ceausescu but none of my friends wanted to come so did exactly what you posted about.
Every Uber driver kept going on about the girls and bars and clubs, I spent every evening reading books and drinking tea in my comfy room and only spoke to service industry staff and one person who asked for directions. So peaceful
Ironically, traveling, especially solo, made me realise I'm not autistic at all, I'm not acrually shy and I just happen to be stuck in a shithole in my everyday life with weirdos and with my muslim family which means I can't do anything without worrying. Meanwhile I was visiting Tokyo or London with friends I was free to do whatever the fuck I want anf hang out with whoever I wanted to talk to consequence free. I didn't have to worry about my safety and meeting one of my siblings or cousins when ordering a hamburger with bacon when I traveled to these place and being less stressed means I was acting like a normal person.
Is it possible to make friends travelling? I'm 23 and feel like I'm running out of time to do something worthwhile. I didnt study abroad which I regret immensely and have worked full time since graduating. Thankfully this means that I have a decent amount of savings built up to travel with.
Something I'd really love to do though is stay in a new city for a while and make some friends. I have some friends at home but I'd really love to meet some people I can relate to better. My sister got to study abroad in Amsterdam and I feel like ive missed my shot at ever being able to travel somewhere and really immerse in the country, have a close group of friends. I may be a bit autist but sadly I also have a strong desire to be social. It sucks.
I work in cyber security/cloud engineering/sre so ive considered going digital nomad but having to be inside working all day while travelling seems a bit shit.
yes. easier. Working remote is the best perk available and has only been available for less than a decade. Stop being retarded, you know what you need to do.
Yes, but since I know I am a social retard I planned accordingly, i.e I travelled alone to Thailand and spent my time holed up in my room/at resturants in between having sex with hookers (who are nice to me because I pay them)