Has anyone found it worth moving from a small town to a big city? Or is it a very expensive meme unless it's for a better paying job?
Has anyone found it worth moving from a small town to a big city?
Has anyone found it worth moving from a small town to a big city? Or is it a very expensive meme unless it's for a better paying job?
Yes but I secured the job before I moved. Spent 10 years in the city was great for my career and social life.
No one mentions the fact that bigger cities are full of dicks and stuck up rich people.
I moved from a small kansas town to seattle for college (transferred), and the first thing I've noticed was that everybody was rich as shit. If you didn't live a lavish lifestyle as a kid there's no way you can relate to these people. But the work opportunities are great.
Yeah, this is how I felt going to a big university from a small town. Didn't get a penny from my family, had to get a job the whole time to pay rent with 3 roommates while studying STEM, only to find most kids there had everything paid from their parents and didn't give a frick besides partying. I even slept in my car + school gym to shower an entire semester because one of my student loans didn't pay up. Didn't relate to anyone at that school and now I'm blackpilled from the experience, but i did benefit from the degree. I just work from home and try to live a simple life. Kind of wish I didn't put myself through all that trauma though.
>NYC Miami LA
are those really the "Big 3" cities? In terms of population Chicago is #3. Is this just based on where people go to socialize and I guess Miami beats Chicago there?
No one cares about Chiraq
Most jobs in the city will be better paying. In small towns, it's dollars general, dive bar, gas station, or waiting for a tradesman to die so you can advance. The jobs are worse enough that, unless remote (which you'll only get after building trust in the city), you aren't actually saving money. Dating environment is total shit unless you grew up there, and if you did and didn't meet a decent girl by 22-23, it's a wasteland of fat, b***hy, single moms. So you might as well move anyway.
I made the mistake and wasted two critical years of my 20s, and I was working remote with a good salary. That didn't make up for everything else.
>dating market is shit
this just proves that women are fricking stupid. Big cities are full of women, NYC actually has a large surplus of women. Because they are npcs who fall for the hustle bustle meme life. They'll work at a gas station in a big city because Hollywood told them it's cool, so in rural areas there's a surplus of men.
Women are in NYC trying to land a winner husband (banker, ceo, etc) while pursuing some career like marketing as a fallback. Silicon valley has historically been a sausage fest because it's full of unattractive nerds, despite the money. Rural areas have fewer high-status men. Most women who don't land a winner in school thus aim higher by going to the city. Many fail and become spinsters, etc but at least you have anonymous funtime city life as a consolation prize.
you articulate it very well. It seems most people shouldn't bother with big cities unless they're rich or model-tier attractive.
I've never lived in a big city, but I've lived mid size places like San Diego or Scottsdale and in my experience, most average guys don't even find average girls to date. They're usually dating down in cities as more attractive guys are willing to date harems of average chicks. In contrast, average guys are going to have a much easier time dating average chicks and maybe even a bit more attractive as there isn't much dating apps and people to go around.
>In contrast, average guys are going to have a much easier time dating average chicks and maybe even a bit more attractive as there isn't much dating apps and people to go around.
The rural pool is significantly fatter and uglier ime.
this has also been my experience. plus a higher percentage of single moms.
Small town America's dating pool is abysmal. If the median age is 10 years higher than the national average, and the population is low, your choices are extremely limited. If you go to outdoorsy clubs, it's just the same 12-15 people and it helps to socialize a little bit. Then if you go to any mid size city in the US, it's like playing on easy mode, even sausage fest tech towns have a large enough female population and you just have to put compete some neck beard reddit types.
>most average guys don't even find average girls to date
Sometimes there can be class/culture differences muddying the waters here. "Mid" girls might be more into military guys or tougher blue collar types. Especially if you try going to clubs and shit. If you want to get an nerd girlfriend in the US you need to go to a place where nerd girls congregate. Find a place with a strong biotech economy.
>Mid" girls might be more into military guys or tougher blue collar types
I won't presume to have perfect self-knowledge and I am after all posting this on SighSee, but I'm a wildland firefighter, reasonably fit, have a truck/guns/bikes/cowboy boots, and my experience has been
. Pretty much the same for the guys I work with (that, and long drives to the nearest college towns.).
All I'm saying is that your position can change based on city-specific factors. For example San Diego has a large military presence there that will influence the local dating culture. You'll find different kind of people there than you'll find in Nashville.
t. 200lb Cheyenne whose mixed race kid comes first and who luuuuuvs Future
weird reply, total non sequitur.
I feel so bad for straight dudes.
I'm gay and can get a cute fit guy to come over and frick and have amazing sex any time I want. Though finding the type of boyfriend I'm looking for though is hard because I also like
>truck/guns/bikes/cowboy shit
and this is super rare in the gay community. There's gays who find the idea of that stuff hot but don't really want to participate in it. And there's gays who grew up in the country and try their best to act like they didn't. And it sucks because I can't really tell people in those bike and gun groups about my real life.
Maybe you're onto something though. American women don't actually like that sort of stuff and what they really want is a boyfriend with Black person ahem, "urban..." tastes who wants to go shopping, wants to go to Disneyland, and things like that, not hiking, in their free time.
Sorry about the rant.
>wants to go shopping, wants to go to Disneyland, a
the ones I've actually ended up with for any extended period of time have been pretty much like this. i've fallen very hard for a few who weren't, but it never worked out. skill issue, of course, but that doesn't make it any less painful or more tractable.
What women actually want is a high-status (from their perspective) man who can shrug off their female bullshit and know how to give them a good dicking.
Where would you advise someone to work if they're remote? I'm still in a mid size city of 500k people and thinking I might as well go to a 50k town to save even more on rent. Midsize seems like the worst of both worlds where people are not ambitious but not friendly whatsoever. So far I'm just taking SighSee's advice to dump as much money as possible into a blue-chip crypto and then getting the frick out of USA after getting rich enough to retire early
Fargo ND
Lincon NE
outskirts of KC
Des Moines
Lexington KY
Greensboro NC
If you want to cash out for something long term and secure look around Indianapolis or Columbus OH
> So far I'm just taking SighSee's advice to dump as much money as possible into a blue-chip crypto and then getting the frick out of USA after getting rich enough to retire early
Nvm you're a moron no matter where you go.
Just move to fargo look up The Gardner apartment, downtown studio apartment is <500/mo with heating paid for.
I hate to break the news to you, but if you hate America, you're really gonna hate everywhere else.
Got a lot of pussy but found it hard to fit in with people. I moved from small town Kansas to Washington DC. I find that big liberal cities are just populated with empty people. I ended up moving back to Kansas, and I am much happier.
How did you fail to fit in? What job did you move here for?
t. lives in DC now
I got an engineering job at a major aerospace entity in the area. I found that no people wanted genuine connections. They only wanted to know you if you provided something, and didn't like you if you didn't have the same political beliefs. I found that my friends in Kansas wanted to be friends because we just vibed with each other, and they don't want shit unless they're moving or in hard times. DC people just seem like...NPCs? Also, I found the black people in DC to be outwardly racist and almost feral. Most black folk back in Kansas are relatively nice people just getting by.
I'm from Western KS, but live in Wichita now. I'm really happy here. Kansas values with big city amenities.
Not entirely surprising. The first two questions in almost all conversations are where did you to go school and where do you work.
Yeah, it gets old. The only genuine connections I made were with other white people from the midwest/south.
What's the point of moving to a city if the only thing people care about is fricking networking
I just want frens
Friends don't exist past childhood
but i never had friends in my childhood
Not everyone is that way, you just have to find people that have similar interests. I go out almost every single week with some of the guy's from my beer league.
City people are open to meeting strangers in a way that small town people are not, because of the more transient nature of city life.
If you aren't into redneck shit or hicklib rainbow flag shit, you probably won't fit in with rural America - even the rich people.
Not even fricking with you on this. Go to a church, pick the church very carefully, you don’t have to believe anything about it, but you will find a community there and you will make friends there.
This is a not a one size fits all solution, but it does work, also keep in mind you only get out of it what you put in.
ayo my fellow small town kansas brother
are you from the wichita area or some kansas city suburb
>big liberal cities are populated with empty people
this is correct. i've lived in Denver, Seattle, and briefly in the Bay Area. The progressive 21-35 cohort is on drugs and antidepressants and deeply unhappy while trying to force their BS on everyone else
Dunno man, I'm in Seattle and love it here.
seattle is lit
WTF this would easily be +1500 in Seattle?!
>295sqft shoebox
>also have to live in icy empty North Dakota
I guess if you're an outdoors person who makes over $60k it's not bad but I just can't see why people would actively choose to rent somewhere that cold outside of being close to family or a very cushy job.
You will get a better paying job but the cost of living is greatly increased too. It will even out in the end. I've found that I make more in the end with cheaper areas with a lower cost of living than higher paying job in a big city.
I struggle to see that unless you're working remote somewhere cheap. I live in HCOL and as a household we save ~$15k a month toward retirement including 401ks.
Who is we?
Me and my wife.
I have roughly an hour and 10 mins commute. it sucks but not enough to make me move out and start paying rent.
I moved from small town Idaho to Denver right after college and never fit in. I'm not into skiing or mountain biking or craft beer and that's literally all anyone does there. Everyone you meet has the exact same personality. It was NPC central on top of being expensive as frick
Have you tried any small towns in Colorado? I'm thinking of visiting Durango to see if it's worth living in with my gf as I wfh
Colorado has a lot of great small towns but they're largely isolated mountain towns. Southwest colorado is incredible, but you're a 4-5 hour drive from a real airport. I like the towns north of Denver like Longmont and Fort Collins.
No one loves living in Seattle. Expensive, crowded, shit weather 9 months a year, horrible traffic, passive aggressive liberals everywhere
Durango has an airport that takes people to Denver or Phoenix/Tucson.
Are there any towns you like in particular? Just wondering how it all compares. I'm visiting place to place, mainly attracted to natural beauty as everything else seems overrated unless it's for career/business propositions.
Wages have been skyrocketing in Colorado mountain towns lately in response to a severe labor shortage, but so has the cost of an apartment. Everyone wants to work from home and live in the mountains. Expect all local business to charge absurdly high prices. There's nothing south or west of Durango but desolation, natives and the shithole called Farmington, so it is a very desirable place to live, despite a fair number of homeless people. Pagosa has also become very pricey.
>Pagosa has also become very pricey.
Stayed a few nights there last year. Great place to visit. The strip mall there is probably the most scenic strip mall in the world.
A little remote but if you're fine with that (and the sulphur smell...) then it's a cool place.
Yup, as long as you care less about outdoorsy activities and personal space than you do about everything else. I don't care about personal space but I like the outdoors, so I just make regular escapes to the countryside.
It’s worth it to move to s big city, but American cities suck.
Living in a big city in the U.S. is accepting the Black person menace and living under the rule of corrupt browns. Do people enjoy being surrounded by foreigners in their native country?
>Has anyone found it worth moving from a small town to a big city?
Anyone in the world? The numbers scream yes. The global population is predominantly urban and getting more so.
Me personally? Also yes. I spent a total of more than twenty years in big cities and mostly loved it. I’m in a very small city now, and mostly like that too, but I still live right in the center. I have small town/suburban/village options and don’t want to take them.
Tastes and personal styles vary a lot, as do cities. Some people hate big cities and shouldn’t live in them. But I found small town life unsatisfying in some ways I decided were important to me (among other things, I hate having to drive all the time—I have learned that my quality of life is dramatically improved by having stuff I need in my everyday life that I can walk to, and I also appreciate access to transit), and I find urban life scores better by those metrics.
But ultimately, do what you want. Big cities are almost always going to be more expensive and crowded than smaller places. Often dirtier, too. They’re also usually going to pay higher salaries and be better educated than smaller places, along with offering a greater variety of things to eat, drink, buy, and do. Maybe the pros will outweigh the cons for you, maybe the cons will convince you that you are not an urbanite by inclination. Neither is a bad outcome.
If you are gay, you can either move near a city or die alone.
Yeah I about to move to London for this reason. I am from a small city in Australia and just hit 30 and realised im fricked. Never had a BF.
No job lined up, bu have a visa and savings. Will be there in march. Wish me luck.
I moved from a city of <200k to a metro with a pop of +5m, only did it for work as it was a raise+pay for getting out of that area.
Pro's
+put a lot of things into perspective about the US and how things work
+made more money built out my resume for the rest of my live in my early 20's
+no longer needed a car as a bike+bus and occasional uber gave me all I need
+tons more variety in entertainment and things to do
+lots more people to meet
+cheaper flying out from my local airport to places
Con's
-cost of living sucked far more of my paycheck out than I thought initially
-crime and general untrust is far higher between people
-more things more problems
-covid and things like BLM riots actively shut down parts of my city from time to time or prolonged shutdowns
-cops go from simple speed trap monitors to full dickheads about everything
I enjoyed my time in the big city but with remote work being far more viable in todays market, there isn't any reason to stay here compared to moving to something smaller around the 300-500k population.
What exactly does SighSee consider rural america? Are we talking like Murfreesboro NC? Or some 50k pop place like Joplin MO?
It might be just me but when I think small town or small city I think a population around 100-150k for the whole city+metro area. I don't think anyone here would be posting unless they knew exactly what they were doing in an area like that. I can understand a city of ~3000 people being a tough circle to break into, but who is actually thinking of going to those places here?
>What exactly does SighSee consider rural america? Are we talking like Murfreesboro NC? Or some 50k pop place like Joplin MO?
My experienced are based on living in an area with two closely connected 12k towns. I moved in with my parents to save money after getting a shiny new remote job to save a bunch of money compared to being in a big Texas city.
The money was good; and it was a decent area. But there's not much point, as a normal person, getting a house if you don't have a spouse. I just didn't fit in with the redneck stuff (even though I'm not even liberal), and the realistic dating options were embarrassingly trashy.
The money I saved was good; but wasting several years only made me less dateable in the long run. It may be petty, but I felt that if I stayed, I would die alone or settle for wigger trash. Run-through girlbosses are an improvement to that.
The Colorado town where I chose to work summers has 5000 people, and everything is one mile away. And I mean everything...mountain trails, whitewater rafting, live music, street festivals, grocery stores, health food stores, boutique shops, bakeries, a library, liquor stores, weed shops, public shower, laundromat, etc. Entry-level wages are also higher than in the cities due to a severe labor shortage. People often fall for the stereotype that all American towns with a Main Street at their center are lifeless dead-ends, but it's not true.
Living in a wealthy American city as a poorgay means you are excluded from enjoying almost all of the consumer experiences on offer. Sure, it's fun being around all that energy at first, but after a while, you get tired of watching everyone else have fun. Of course, this is an incentive to hustle as hard as you possibly can and climb the corporate ladder. Personally I would never grind away at a career in an American city when there are so many amazing cities around the world where I can enjoy a life of leisure and bountiful consumer choices on a very modest budget.
The reverse is also true. There are plenty of unattractive women in cities, but they are basically invisible to single men who only have an eye for stuck-up Stacies.
Country women eat too much, it's true. And they spend less on beauty products and clothes. It's amazing how plain Jane most girls look without makeup and designer outfits.
Partially true. If you are a citygay, then sure, you will click with your fellow citygays who love talking about gay shit like TV shows and the latest fashion trend. But if you are a hardworking godfearing white man whose idea of small talk is crop prices and weather patterns, you aren't going to click with city slickers, no way. Whereas such a guy can drop in at any country store, shake hands and make friends right off the bat.
What's the Colorado town? i've actually been traveling to a few spots in Colorado to find a place to live while working from home. So far Durango is my favorite with only 19k people.
NTA but I also really like Durango. It's fun and in the mountains and easy to walk around and doesn't feel as stuck up as Aspen and isn't as stiflingly small and isolated (and expensive) as Telluride. There is a liberal arts college so there's a lot of women albeit with awful personalities.
Somebody mentioned the only places in the US with small towns that aren't completely awful are touristic in nature or surround a university, and I think that's probably true.
I loved Steamboat Springs. Extremely expensive tho, never coulda afforded to live there
>Partially true. If you are a citygay, then sure, you will click with your fellow citygays who love talking about gay shit like TV shows and the latest fashion trend
Yes, but I also don't vibe with those "Ban hate, not books" hicklibs either. They're insufferable.
>Yes, but I also don't vibe with those "Ban hate, not books" hicklibs either. They're insuffera
You have to be a special kind of stupid to consistently run into those people. Are you going to like the 1 or two "Craft beer" places or some shit? Or are your "small towns" just college towns full of morons who are riding out their parents cash funds "finding themselves".
>Or are your "small towns" just college towns full of morons who are riding out their parents cash funds "finding themselves".
10-15k towns 40-60 miles from a major city. There's a shitty community college in one, but that's not even where you see it. It's just literal 40-50yo redditors, just out in the country; who think they're really cool for sticking up for anal sex.
What town are you talking about, this sounds very specific to (you). Are you living in some gay retiree town in Florida?
>What exactly does SighSee consider rural america?
There are several levels with very blurry lines between, there are a variety of factors that contribute to "rural character." Generally speaking I go by the size of the "metro area" but some US metro areas cover a very large area with a "not exactly happening" mid-size city as the nucleus. Contrast Rochester, NY with say, Nashville, TN. Rochester metro is 1 mil and Nashville is 2 mil, yet Nashville's urban center is 700k with a thriving music culture, so is popular with young people. Rochester metro is mostly rural and suburban with a tiny and decrepit urban core.
The "levels" for me are basically
1. Legit rural.
2. Small rural city (<50k with no larger city within 50 miles).
3. Rural "hub" city. You're technically in a city, maybe even fairly large (200k+) and have similar amenities to other cities, but not necessarily thriving with youthful economy.
4. Legit major city with a vibrant metropolitan area with well-contained ghettos catering to young and ambitious career-oriented and socially-oriented people.
>The reverse is also true. There are plenty of unattractive women in cities, but they are basically invisible to single men who only have an eye for stuck-up Stacies.
No, not nearly to the same extent (and your pathetic bias is revealed by assuming that all pretty girls are stuck-up). But more importantly, it's not just "big cities," the point is that women go to the big cities in the first place in order to be around the high-value males, leaving lower-tier men in the rural areas a choice: accept rural celibacy or move to the city and compete. The "unattractive women in cities" are invisible because there aren't as many appropriate men there for them in the first place.
>make 90k before yearly bonuses
>WFH but got offer to move for a new site opening and just "be in the area" for upgrades to server equipment
>downtown is socializing made easy compared to the city life
>easy to socialize in these environments since trailer trash/college poors gets filtered by anything more than 3 dollar well drinks
>never step foot in the poor peoples places like the casino's or applebees so don't have to deal with fat karens everywhere
>holiday events in the city always good social meetups
>probably would have landed a girl if I haven't been travelmaxxing
>looking to buy a house in the next 2-3 years after saving a bit more but apartment is so cheap not ideal right now
Dunno city life was harder to break into with women for me than a small town. Telling some of my travel stories have given me a lot of friends.
it is worth doing because it exposes you to a new life. you are not required to stay if you do not want to. but better to have tried and not liked it than to have been a pusy and not tried it.
a year goes very quickly regardless of where you are.
And it's easier to downsize from a HCOL city to a LCOL exurb or small town, than the reverse.
Do you guys just not go to the gym or are you those anons who only go to the gym at like 11PM when no one else is around? Anytime Fitness or Planet fitness in small cities are literally easy fat filters for women and generally insanely easy social meetup places.
The way you guys talk about smaller towns or rural parts of the US is like every place being a copy of Shamrock TX or Wales AK. I don't think there is a single anon on this board who is actively discussing living there or
man, I mean, I guess it's an option, but I don't really like interacting with people at the gym at all. I ended up getting some stuff for my house, partly because of this, partly because I like training outdoors, partly so I didn't have to drive. (I also ended up pivoting to mostly endurance goals later, but that's a separate point and only related insofar as it's an expression of underlying autism.).
>Do you guys just not go to the gym or are you those anons who only go to the gym at like 11PM when no one else is around? Anytime Fitness or Planet fitness in small cities are literally easy fat filters for women and generally insanely easy social meetup places.
That's where the cliqueishness of small towns fricks you.
Yeah I also do all my grocery shopping and errands and gym after 7 pm if possible. There's no annoying people around especially no single mothers with bratty kids. I guess that's why I don't meet people.
I go to the gym regularly and have never once spoken to a girl there. I’m there to exercise, not pick up vapid prostitutes who film their ass during squats for social media validation