Has anyone here dropped everything and started a new life somewhere else?
I've always hated my hometown. I've graduated college and intend on moving once I've saved enough. This has been a goal of mine since I was like 12 and I finally, nearly, have the resources to do it. Maine has always looked comfy to me.
>So how did you do it?
>Where did you come from?
>Where did you go?
>If you could do it over again, would you?
>What would you do differently?
 |
 Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
|
Yeah I moved to Florida with whatever I could fit in my car.
I did transfer my minimum wage job. I worked at TJ Maxx and they basically just called the store down there and said hey this guy will work for you now. Quit that and found something better within a month but it made finding an apartment easier. Of course that was 2008 when you could rent a 1 bedroom in Florida for $450/mo.
No, but I'm in the same boat as you; I desperately want to. I'm from a former textile town on the east coast US. A hundred years ago here you either farmed or worked in the manufacturing mills - that's over with now but still not many economic opportunities unless you wanna be a tradie or work in retail. The only thing that was keeping me here was my sole friend. But he just told me the other day he was going to CDL school. So after he finishes that he'll be on the road trucking for months at a time.
I know I'm going to sound like a instathot '''traveler'''' but I actually do want to get out there and experience the world more before I get too old. I'll be 30 in 4 years. Only thing holding me back is money. Anywhere but here it doesn't matter. This place makes me feel so claustrophobic.
yes. my town is notoriously blue haired feminist liberal, my childhood next door neighbor followed every mainstream trend like a guidebook. Tattoos, cutting, emo scene, troony phase, accusing tons of guys of rape, you name it. You could only imagine how hellish Highschool was being one of the few guys who hated all that shit openly. I left the country entirely because America was quickly turning into everything I hated about Highschool.
For some background, I'm from originally the USA in my 20s. If I could do it differently, I'd have a legit skill because I've been an e-commerce guy since I was 18. It would've made it easier if I were a software dev alongside it for stable income. Now that I've been doing this for so long, (Amazon, eBay, etc.) I'm now an upper income earner mid 6-figures. My best advice, would be, learn shit you can do from anywhere (on a PC). Don't bother with the entrepreneur shit until you have a stable income. When you start making real money, like 70k+, don't blow it by getting a pricy car note & living in a luxury apartment.
How long did it take to turn a profit from e-commerce?
I make decent money but want an escape from my shit job
Can be as quick as over night. That's not the problem here though. It's reliability, how stable is the income? I've had months when I was trying to get a website to work, where I was doing 30k USD per month. Had to spend money to maintain it, then right when I restock - sales slump and bills are due for all the sales I did (3PL, facebook ads, google ads).
>I've been an e-commerce guy since I was 18. It would've made it easier if I were a software dev alongside it for stable income
Would being a software dev help your e-commerce much? Or just nice to have to worry about income?
It's funny, I've been a software dev at the same company for years and I've often dreamed about how much better it would be if I had got into e-commerce instead. Guess the grass is always greener.
The stable income is nice but I'm underpaid, only 70k for a senior position and although they're not too demanding, I can't work remotely. Interviews are fricking ruthless and they take months of studying some of the hardest pointless shit because competition is sky high and they don't want to hire a dud.
My dream is to have my own remote business to gradually replace my income with minimal effort. If I can hit a point where I'm making $1-2k/month somewhat passively, I'd move to a low cost of living country and try to grow it so I'd have no burn rate.
I've been working on a game for a year and I've implemented a lot of the systems, but it's still nowhere close to being done despite hundreds of hours of work, and I already feel burnt out and haven't touched it in weeks.
Part of me just wants to quit my job and live off my savings in a low cost of living area, I have enough to last 5+ years but I also want to retire early and that would really set me back if the gamedev stuff isn't successful.
I up and moved everything across the country right after I got married. I still talk to my brother but the rest of them can burn in hell. And some of them are, lol.
It’s honestly not that hard dude.
>save up 6 months emergency fund or 1 year if you wanna be max comfy
>rent cheap AirBnB and aggressively apply for jobs
>get job, sign lease, bam
I flew into Denver with 2k in my bank account a year ago. This plan only works if you’re not looking for any particular, high skilled position though.
I’m talking warehouse, trucking, security, retail tier.
Theoretically once you get to cruising altitude, you can search for a “real” job.
luckily my line of work is in high demand all over the country (addiction counseling) so finding a job isn't the hard part. mainly I'm just worried about meeting friends/girls (have never pulled a girl IRL, only online, but I suppose Tinder exists) and being away from my family, but it's time to make my own way in life without relying on being near my family
It's really, really fricking easy. SUPER easy. You just have to maintain consistent energy building your new life because it won't fall into your lap. Done it a couple of times. You just gotta be sure to get out there every day and try to connect with someone in some way. You don't need to go hardcore and join clubs or force yourself to do things you don't want, but you do need to be talking to people, trying to casually make plans, etc. Just do it, then when you're there, think of things you like to do, then find social versions of those things, then talk to a bunch of people and try to knead yourself into their lives over time. Hunt out your new favorite spots, eateries, all that. It ain't hard, but like I said, it takes consistent effort.
I’ve moved around a fair amount; it was pretty common in the environment into which I was born (mostly more or less middle-class and in large part highly educated—I’m from a college town) for people to leave home, although some of my peers stayed local, and more than a few left town and eventually returned by choice.
>So how did you do it?
It was a pretty low-effort process for me. Went to college in another state, and just never moved home again full-time, although I did come back for two summers before I graduated. Got a TESOL job in Asia for two years right after college, and moved in with my girlfriend (I’d been in an on-again, off-again, but mostly on, relationship with her for a few years, including long-distance for a bit; we met in college but she graduated three semesters after I did), who was in grad school by then in a third state, when I decided to return to the USA. Next moved for my own grad school/her first post-doc, and again when I finished, to somewhere we’d both wanted to go, and where she had a second post-doc (that became a ‘real job’) already lined up. We got married and stayed there for years before moving again, five years ago at this point, following her job abroad on a whim. I was eventually self-employed and could bring my work with me, but when I followed her to where she was in grad school and to where she had her final post-doc I just found work once I got there.
>Where did you come from?
Small college town in Massachusetts.
>Where did you go?
In order, thus far: MA, New York, Thailand, Laos, North Carolina, Wisconsin, California, and Switzerland.
>If you could do it over again, would you?
Yes, maybe apart from the stint in WI (although I liked it there just fine). I mostly feel very happy with how things turned out, and fairly lucky.
>What would you do differently?
I might have gone to a different grad school; I chose the offer with better funding and maybe shouldn’t have. But I have no big regrets.
Sort of. I was really unhappy with the life I ended up in after I graduated from college even though I was in a competitive job that paid really well so I just quit my job, sold broke my lease, sold all of my furniture, sold everything, moved back home and worked some odd jobs for a while, none of which worked out, and eventually decided where I want to go. I packed my car and drove there, stayed in a hotel for 3 weeks and then got a job, rented a room in a 3 bedroom apartment, and finally, got my own place. It wasn’t anything radical really. In the internet age you can just apply online before you even get where you’re going. Sometimes I think about what-ifs but I don’t regret it.
>live at home
>decent amount of money saved
>24
>social circle mainly friends from hs
>tfw overbearing armenian parents would lose their shit if I told them I want to travel for a year/live abroad
>tfw can't even move out because live in the most israeliteed region in the country
What the frick should I do bros? I feel like I am rotting at home and my dick is dry from living in the pussy prison of israelitenited states suburb
I’m just a regular US white dude and not Armenian, but I can kind of relate to what you’re going through. I have a good relationship with my parents but they are the suburban helicopter parents that want me to live in the pussy prison forever and they overreact to everything. I’m older than you at 27 and didn’t get to travel outside the US until I was 26. I’m still living in the US but planning on moving out when my current lease is up. I am in and have been in a similar spot, it really is very hard to break out of, anons on here that were latchkey kids with single mothers won’t be able to relate. Here is what you need to think about; your parents love you and you shouldn’t be mad at them or blow up on them or anything, but they are also misinformed boomers and what they think is best for you will lead you down a path of absolute misery. There is also a coziness to being home that you also hate, each day bleeds into the next and you want to leave but it can be scary mostly to disappoint your parents, I have felt this. What you need to realize is that feeling that your life has always been like this and that staying where you are and not going abroad is the “safe” option is actually a mental trick. It feels that way, but it’s not actually the safe option. You need to be more afraid of another year of your youth being robbed from you than than the immediate fear of the unknown. Ironically, your parents will likely be happier in the long term if you leave as well because if you leave this crushing pussy prison you have a way better chance of giving them grandchildren that aren’t trannies. No great man was ever able to accomplish his goals without making his mom sad before he embarked on his journey. It is one of the painful parts of manhood you need to embrace that has been culturally robbed from you. If you don’t already, I would recommend getting a set of skills that let you work remotely that you can work abroad. Pic related.
With ethnic parents its even worse because they will try to shame you whenever the prospect even comes up with "how are you going to support us" or "what if we drop dead" as if I am the one who bought an overpriced McMansion and I am responsible for your financial moronation. At least with pure American parents they believe in muh personal responsibility and whatever, sure they expect money but they are mostly israelites about it and don't really expect anyone to go out of their way for them. Doesn't help that my parents are old too (mom had me at 38, I am 24 now) so I am going to have to support them in the coming years. Helpful post though, thank you
great write up anon. can totally relate.
Here’s a question: What would your parents think about your going to live in Armenia for a while? Reconnect with your roots in the old country, maybe try to meet a nice Armenian girl to bring home with you. Then travel while you’re officially being looked after by some uncle or cousin in Yerevan.
I’m pulling this out of my ass, obviously. But it sounds like anywhere will be a welcome change from Glendale/Burbank.
knock on your neighbour's door and see if it's available to frick
I swear suburbs are so easy you just arent trying,
I'm a grad student at home for the summer and I relate to this a lot more than I care to admit. Early 20s, stupid enough to go to grad school straight out of college despite getting a full scholarship in the latter, and the resulting burnout took a bite out of my gpa. One way or another it'll get fixed, but I'm a Hispanic from a blue collar household. That's about 100k I would owe by the time I'm finished; it's sitting at roughly 30k right now. I'm not sure if I should cut my losses at this point and look for a job through a couple contacts, but I don't know how dropping out of grad school would look. I have an engineering degree from a high ranking program if that helps with anything. If it's better to weather through what's left to come, I have no idea how the hell I'll pay it all off. The world is clearly changing and I'm afraid it'll be too late to adapt after I would clear the debt.
To avoid any further tangent, what you said about each day bleeding into the next is what I'm starting to sense. Never have I felt so busy and inactive at the same time. Neither of my parents bless them have been to uni, and even though my dad's more or less aware of what's around, both are under the impression that it's the only way to make a good living. Compound that with grandparents on both sides of my family going through so much hardship to get to the U.S. in the first place. I don't see myself working abroad, but I know times are changing and it's safe to have options open. If being brown could be an issue with some people, I could pass as white. My brother and dad love to joke about it anyway, and I've been told some wild stuff because of it. Thanks for your words, they're a lot more help than you know.
How can you hate your hometown you ungrateful frick of a traitior...
you've clearly never been to Fresno
the people all fricking suck. complete morons. most of my friends have died from fentanyl. my girlfriend is in rehab for a year. my brother moved, my sister moved.
the only thing keeping me here is guilt over leaving my parents here, alone.
Yes, several times. All because I found a higher paying job somewhere else and moved for that. Just browse Indeed or LinkedIn or whatever for the city you want to go to. I would suggest Portsmouth, NH since you can easily get to Boston by train for weekend events. And NH has no sales or income tax. It is right on the border of Maine.
There's also a lot of tech/engineering companies in Manchester NH. Salesforce, Dyn, DEKA, etc.
Portsmouth is super expensive now, like NYC tier prices. Go up to Rochester, Somersworth, etc. Of course the further out you go it gets cheaper, there's a sweet spot for everyone.
Oh, that sucks. How's Dover nowadays? I lived there 10 years ago and it was extremely comfy and cheap as dirt.
Costs 3-4x as much as 10 years ago but otherwise probably hasn't changed much. I don't go out east that often I'm in the Concord area.
If I wake up Tuesday morning I'm going somewhere else