I had to spend one day in Lisbon before flying to the US. I autistically walked around. I didn't really talk to anybody except waiters. I visited a bunch of churches and that's It. Everyone around me appeared to be enjoying themselves, indulging in midday drinks with friends. The city seemed packed with Anglos and digital nomads. I was uncomfortable in crowded landmarks and would leave immediately if a place was too full. This tends to be the pattern for all of my travels. I've been to some cities and I don't have any stories to tell because I don't interact with people at all. I know a guy who has crazy stories from each travel just because he fricking talks to people and do drugs in clubs or plays sports with random people from Facebook groups. I feel like checking the local sights and eating local food is not enough. At times, it feels pointless for me to travel. Is it even feasible for someone like me, a sperg, to travel? Do I need to change my approach, or should I stop traveling altogether?
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I suggest signing up for tour groups. Food tours, day trips, city walks etc. Anything with a local guide in a tour setting, that way you at least increase your chances of interacting with other people and probably do fun shit in the process.
This. And bar/pub crawls. There are always a lot of participants who are on the spectrum and it's a great format for them to find eachother instead of having to pretend to enjoy the company of super extroverted travelers who they have nothing in common with
You simply don't have the personality to do those things. Nothing wrong with that. Stop trying to convince yourself you can change easily. You can work on it, but it takes years, and you will never reach the level of the guy you mentioned. Accept it, start enjoying it, get comfortable being alone, explore areas/countries that aren't explored by normies.
Also this.
Not OP, but where do you guys find pub crawls and tour groups?
getyourguide
tripadvisor
check the reviews of your accommodation if they have one
picrel
I think only old people go for city walks and food tours. Pub crawls definitely attract a lot of young people to hang out with.
I would start drinking, but how to start doing It alone? Like I can't go to the bar alone It would be weird
you're already fricking weird lol, go be weird at the bar and take a fricking chance.
>I would start drinking, but how to start doing It alone? Like I can't go to the bar alone It would be weird
There are pub crawls that you can do in many cities, you have a guide and meet a bunch of randos and they take you drinking. I'm somewhat autistic myself, but I've gone to small quiet bars to have a drink on my own before and ended up meeting people there and getting completely wasted with them. Have a beer, ask someone for a cigarette, you'll likely end up meeting people. It's easier in certain cities and countries of course and maybe it won't work out in certain venues, but you never know.
>Like I can't go to the bar alone It would be weird
It's ok to go to a bar alone. I go mid-afternoon and make like I'm doing business from the bar rather than being there solely to drink. Get something light to eat, pretend your talking about stocks or real estate on the phone, and get a feel for the place. Standing, as another anon noted, is better than sitting at the bar and staring at your drink.
You don't have to start drinking for your goals. It will make things easier, but don't feel like it's necessary. Alcohol has lead to a lot of good memories travelling for me. I now don't drink and am missing out on some stuff, but to me it's not worth it anymore. Nothing wrong with trying it/doing it though, just don't feel like you must.
I definitely recommend just talking to random people and seeing how it goes. You'll be surprised that most people are actually friendly and nice, even if you greet them by saying hello I'm autistic like the other anon said. Of course it's not necessary. You'll get some people who don't like you but it's okay. For interacting with strangers, taking care of your appearance does make a difference. Don't be smelly, wear normal clothes, have neat hair and facial hair, etc.
Walking around and exploring cities alone can be kino. I enjoy it at least. Exploring crowded touristic spots isn't my favorite either. If you like generic landmarks, you can try staying at a hostel and making plans with the people you meet there, people are usually friendly at hostels.
>Like I can't go to the bar alone It would be weird
It is not weird, lots of people go to the bar alone. That's the entire point of bar seating. To maximize the amount of solo drinkers in a given space.
This, and stay in hostels. An insanely cute french girl fricked me in a hostel in costa rica, she said she thought it was really cute how shy and nice I was.
This anon is correct too. I think I'd still be a virgin if it wasn't for benzos, they make it enormously easier to socialize, alcohol too but hangovers can be debilitating and waking up next to a girl hungover with rebound anxiety from excessive drinking is scary as frick.
Cocaine is also great for socializing, words come out of your mouth the exact way theyre in your head.
If you're traveling in the third world you can usually buy benzos and soma in pharmacies without a prescription, and if they do require one just pay a physician.
You have to start drinking and taking drugs, anon. I'm sorry, but it is what it is, start doing it and you'll enjoy yourself much more. Try a small dose of a benzodiazepine like Xanax or Valium. Either that or alcohol, don't combine the two and you'll have a really good time.
Holy shit, this.
Anon, I was in the exact same position as you. I remember being so fricking excited to start travelling around Central Europe, only when I arrived I was bored a day in because of the exact reasons you mentioned. I just felt like an outlier in a city of other people enjoying themselves. Evening would come and I wouldn’t know what to do with my time. I was bored and depressed because I had nothing to do, but was also incredibly anxious at the prospect of going to places on my own.
As I got a tiny bit older, a bit more experienced and more travelled, I began hitting up random bar spots. Sitting on outdoor terraces getting drunk into the night. Meeting random tourists and locals who I became well aquatinted with and had a great time. Frick, I even remember making friends with randos and having a great night when I was sat on the street in Athens drinking beers listening to a busker like a homeless person.
Honestly, you need to break your shell. Start drinking more. Don’t have any reservations about looking weird or being the odd guy out. Smoking is also a great way to socialise when you’re out drinking, plenty of people become your friend and get chatting.
I honestly never saw a person drinking alone in the bar. I guess that depends on the bar, but if you go to any central avenue of any city I doubt you find lonely people drinking there
Depends on the bar, but generally, if you're alone, standing is better than sitting, busy is better than quiet. It's pretty hard to drop in at a table, double hard if you don't speak the table's language. But standing, you can bounce around groups a little more. You quickly get a feeling for whether you're welcome or not.
Drinking does literally nothing to me except make me very unsteady and dizzy and feel like I'm going to trip and die when walking to the bathroom. All of my mental faculties stay perfectly intact.
You're a moron.
I found some Xanax on the street in Cali, Colombia. Literally laying on the sidewalk. It made me feel extremely apathetic. Would not recommend benzos.
Diazepam is nicer.
>You have to start drinking and taking drugs, anon.
This. Every big city has a crack house, even smaller sized ones. Just go up to a homeless person, drop a dollar (or a euro) in their cup and say
>hey mate, know where I can get a rock?
You'll probably pay a premium. Don't give him your money and wait somewhere, whatever you do, go in with him. Crackheads are some of the most friendliest people I've met and you'll have way crazier stories than your friend.
I would avoid heroin, you won't get into many adventures when you're high, just kinda zoned out. With crack, you'll be roaming around city seeing places you've never seen before making friends for life.
Have you considered making a Tinder/Bumble profile and meeting a girl to show you around and sleep with? The trick is to say you just moved there and want to meet someone for a LTR. First date is lunch or dinner, and next bunch of dates are them taking you places.
not OP but I did this when I visited San Francisco
I literally spent 3 hours A/B testing different variations of a profile on Tinder and Bumble. Got a response from four (4) girls, of which two only wanted to shill their OnlyFans page. The other two flaked out.
I can only conclude that I'm a hideous goblin with no rizz.
dont ever put your info in a dating app again. even if it were organically all real interactions and not bots you would end up rejected anyway but now youve given precious data and possibly even paid money to do it if you were that desperate. just stop feeding the beast.
I thought about It a lot, but I don't look good. As I understand, you have to be really handsome to have success with dating apps as a man. Maybe It is different when you are a foreigner. I don't want to end up like this anon
The destination matters also. You'd do much better in Asia as a white dude than in the US.
This.
In pretty much every 1st world country, you have to look like a literal male model to be successful on dating apps.
I stoped being autistic once I started traveling and realized my autism was entirely delusional and based on me just not having properly socialized in a long time (due to shame of my family situation). Once I traveled and was "relieved“ (from my family-situation), got in, some slightly awkward at first, conversations, I got back in the groove and am entirely resocialized know. Just try traveling and (maybe drink a little bit, it helped my as a placebo I guess) see if your autism is just in your head or coused by an toxic environment.
Sorry I didn’t read your post.
My advice would be try finding just one or two people where ever you are that are not bothered by you and just try to talk to them as much as possible, force yourself. It will be difficult at first like all things in life but after a while it’ll be nothing. I know for you that’s probably easier said than done. Just focus at first on complete honesty with the person you talk to.
you could ebbende Open up with “hey I’m autistic and it is hard for me to talk to people. Is it ok if we have a conversation“, most people won’t say no and will just chat with you. You said you walk around the city so I’m guessing you’re not fat and repulsive, if you have any other issues like that get them in check first.
This is true, frick all the homosexuals who will say it’s not. Socialized autism that exists mainly in your head is a real thing and is the problem of 90% of the people on this board. It comes from growing up in the hyperfeminist hyperjudemental American lifeless suburban Karen culture where every single movement you make is watched and critiqued at all times and you must walk on eggshells socially at all times for fear of losing your job. Where it’s borderline illegal to approach a girl outside of Tinder/Instagram. Frick all the paid demoralization homosexuals who will claim that it’s your fault or something wrong with you, this is 90% environmental. Also somehow even the goyslop here in the states will multiply and enhance negative thoughts. You are normal and simply have a normal reaction to a toxic environment. If you leave your autism will heal.
This thread is a bunch of autists giving horrible advice. This is the only correct advice
Any other advice that suggests specific places or things to do - you'll have the same issue. Tour groups? People usually go with their friends/family and aren't as open to talking as you'd think. Bars - what, on your own? Good luck not sitting awkwardly. Hostels - you're gonna hate it if you like your own space and quiet.
Realize you're in a different country and can craft yourself to be anyone you want. Choose what you want to do for the day and just be friendly to anyone you meet in shops, restaurants, or tours. Don't force yourself anywhere, it needs to be natural.
People can sense awkwardness, and definitely do not mention that you're autistic jesus christ. A pity party is even worse than social exclusion.
unironically no wrong answer so far. just have to make an effort OP.
>I autistically walked around. I didn't really talk to anybody except waiters. I visited a bunch of churches and that's It
sounds like a nice time
Agreed
I am also a lonely autist in Amsterdam and signed up for a pub crawl because of this threads advice.
Nice one bro, give us an update afterwards.
The crawl started a bit akward as I was in a same group with a bunch of loud German chads, so I felt left out as usual. They noticed I was lonely and tried to talk to me but quickly lost interest in me.
Later some American also arrived and easily started chatting with them.
Few bars later I talked to them again and we had fun.
I left the crawl bit early because we went to a club with too loud ass music and my ears started to hurt.
I guess my problem is that I'm not afraid to talk to people, I simply can't think of anything to say.
That's my story, thanks for reading.
It's because you need to gain experience so you have something to relate to while talking with someone.
Next crawl you have, ask the chads questions about their life. People love talking about themselves. If you don't know what to ask, just follow up with "why" and keep getting them to talk about themselves.
If they feel uncomfortable about how inquisitive you are, congratulations, you are one step closer to not giving a frick. It's called rejection therapy. It's not just with women, you can do this trying to make friends with men too.
You keep doing things that you know you will get rejected for, until it stops bothering you. A chad who feels weird about you asking so many questions will either frick off or keep you around (if he is a narcissist).
If he fricks off, then look around to see if a Chad is being "goofy", such as dancing funny or drunkenly singing. If you know the song, start singing along with him. Make sure he sees you, and if you are the only one that sees him, he will probably go talk to you. Then you can just start asking him about his life. Whenever he asks about you, just answer but shift the focus back to him.
If Chad loses interest, tell yourself congratulations, it's another step in not giving a frick.
You can do this with women eventually, just practice with men first. All you have to do is get people to talk about themselves. A nice person will invite you somewhere. Say yes. Things will fall into place, and something crazy might happen. If not, keep trying.
Then you will have something to talk about in your next conversation.
inb4 some autistic anon ends up having sex with Chad because he didn't know what to do next
>The crawl started a bit akward as I was in a same group with a bunch of loud German chads, so I felt left out as usual.
I think that sometimes it's more awkward in your head than in reality. In groups, there's always going to be people who are louder and more talkative and then some quieter folks. That's fine, just have to accept that you're more of a quiet type. You don't have to take part in every single conversation.
>I guess my problem is that I'm not afraid to talk to people, I simply can't think of anything to say.
You need to find points in common with other people to work with in conversations, ask them about themselves or share stories of yours that might be funny, relevant and interesting to hear. The more things you experience in life, the more you have to talk about and the easier it gets.
Think of social skills like muscles that you have to train, the Chads just happened to be in environments where they could hone them early in life. Most people can reach that point with enough practice.
What interests you? Even weird shit like big foot and aliens can be fun topics to talk about while drunk, and there's always someone who's interested. At the last bar crawl I was at I met some sperg who literally started bringing up the israelites after less than 1 minute of talking. I wasn't up for that but he did eventually find some other guy who was
anon try tagging along with your extroverted druggie friend
man this thread is depressing
so there's nothing to do anywhere but to take drugs and drink alcohol? grim
You can do stuff, but the substances help you stop overthinking, you homosexual.
if an antisocial sperg starts drinking/taking drugs he won't magically become an extroverted Chad doing various stuff left and right, he will more than likely just become a solitary alcoholic/junkie shooting up or drinking in his own room alone
Besides the drugs/alcohol suggestions to help stop thinking, consider doing some self introspection, you should come to the conclusion that yes you do want to interact with people and yes you do want interesting stories.
Then when you feel that hesitation to approach and strike up a conversation, you can just remember that you already came to the conclusion that this is what you want to do, it's not something to decide anymore, it's a foregone conclusion and it's inevitable. If you're still having trouble, really remember that this is your one life, your one opportunity, you don't want to look back and regret like you're doing now, or worse have it end without experiencing some simple joys.
You already know how it feels to not go out and talk to people and try new things, it feels bad, so save yourself the pain and talk to them. Worst case they're complete buttholes or it's just very awkward, but then you can just move on and at least you tried, and you'll find other people to interact with.
>if an antisocial sperg starts drinking/taking drugs he won't magically become an extroverted Chad doing various stuff left and right, he will more than likely just become a solitary alcoholic/junkie shooting up or drinking in his own room alone
eh it's possible, but he's not so antisocial that he's not leaving the house, he just needs a final push once he's there to get things going.
I was an antisocial sperg but after going somewhere and drinking a bit I stopped caring about being self conscious and I was able to chat up and have a lot of fun with dozens of complete strangers for the rest of the night. I was still a bit awkward and definitely not a chad but it made for a way more fun experience than if I had just stayed in my room for the night.
You get one life man, it's okay to experiment a bit and try different things out to find out what they're like. Stop being such a homosexual.
>You get one life man
exactly, and if you tell an antisocial sperg to do drugs and drink he'll be closer to losing his life than gaining anything from it, homosexual
pathetic wagie mentality
I would think only a small number can't handle a little social drugs here and there, and end up junkie.
Is it more pronounced amongst autists?
If you're just a high-inhibition person, it can help. If your problem isn't inhibition, you may just end up as a druggie.
Yes there is, but when people are out drinking they are more open to being approached by a random stranger. You can try approaching random sober people on the street but 99% of the time they will tell you to frick off and assume that your intentions are bad. In some countries it's different of course
you have do cultivate a psychogeographical strategy to best optimize user experience
typically the choice focuses around cooming
but in the pursuit of cooming it forces the would be traveler to overcome their apprehension and research each step needed to make the journey, they are more outgoing willing to interact with locals or fellow travelers in order to obtain information to bring them closer to cooming, they will see the parts of town not on the brochure, this leads them to being open to whatever opportunities will arise during their travel rather than being on a fixed regimented schedule. All these things combined will cause them to be more present in the moment and more attentive of their surroundings, they will spend less time doomscrolling their phones when not used for information and communication, and overall will have a much more fulfilling trip.
>you have do cultivate a psychogeographical strategy
This is olympic tier 'tism speech, but I love the advice.
based. the coomer is truly the highest form of traveller
https://voca.ro/1oj5a828PVtn
German?
Thanks Hans
Based window-view enjoyer, I recommend Northern Norway and especially Lofoten. Views there are great and you won't get killed at airbnbs
There's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying your own company. Do what feels good for you because not everyone is made to be vivacious and the centre of attention.
Whenever I have been on a pub crawl there has been no shortage of other solo travelers to talk to. Most are men between 20-35, but are usually a few women too although they tend to be in pairs or groups.
They are there for the very same reason you are, so there is no reason to be self conscious or feel like a loser for being alone. Traveling solo is fun but it can get a bit lonely at night
>Cannot find a pubcrawl in my designated city
Where should I exactly look? Tripadvisor has none
didn't ask for your 'input', pindick
Just stop being an autist bro
I am also an autistic introvert who was the same as you.
The way I got over this was after reading a book called Yes Man by Danny Wallace (there is a famous movie, but the book is better).
(no spoilers I promise):
Basically, it's a memoir of an English guy who had a lonely and isolated life until a stranger on a bus told him to "say yes more". He autistically twisted that to start saying yes to everything, and his life completely changed.
Anyway, by forcing yourself to say yes to everything, you are basically surrendering to God's will, putting your life in the hands of the universe. It's easy for people to just say "just put yourself out there, do drugs, etc." but what you need is to practice radical openness. You need to force yourself to say yes, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Obviously, set boundaries on illegal shit, but just say yes to everything. Start at home first, then you will eventually end up traveling.
This is me, the stranger on the bus, telling you and anyone reading this to "Say Yes More". Just say yes. You see something on a bulletin board? Just go to it. Homeless guy asks for $5? Give it to him, or buy him something worth $5. A Peace Corps recruiter is speaking at your university? Go to it - that's how my friend ended up living in Kyrgyzstan for 2 years.
Something that happened to me: I usually get emails from my company saying there is a get-together at some restaurant. I work remotely and live 2 hours away, so I've never met these people. I said "yes" and actually met a lot of employees in the company. There I found out the company would give $500-$1000 bonuses to those who get a certificate (some software shit).
Say yes more.
Another lonely autist here
This thread seems full of good advice, but it seems all way later down the process than the part I struggle with
How the frick do I meet people to talk to?
Everyone everywhere I go is in a group and has friends and I'm just the lonely weirdo
How make friends?
The easy answer is travel, stay in a hostel and talk to the people who are also staying there. Approach groups too, ask people where they're from etc.
Meeting local people is a bit harder and involves just talking to random people and asking some questions. You can approach groups too. Some people won't be interested in talking to you, which is rarer in hostels.
Alcohol helps in both of these scenarios but isn't necessary.
The alcohol doesn't change anything for me
I don't have social anxiety
I just don't know what to say to complete strangers to start a conversation
I'm the same way. I get mildly less inhibited when drunk but personality stays the same. I keep to myself 90% of the time
In the situation of a hostel, I usually ask how they're doing and then how long they're here for. You also can ask where they're from instead. But with almost anyone the first thing I ask is how's it going or something similar. The second question depends on the situation, but really it's not that hard to think of a question.
If the problem is maintaining a conversation, not just starting, there may be a self help book you can read, or just practice talking to people online.
>but really it's not that hard to think of a question.
It's not really hard FOR YOU to think of a question
This is an absolute mystery to me
>Hey, where are you from?
>How long you been here?
>Why are you bald?
>You found any places here that are worth checking out?
And you just walk up to people and say that shit?
Feels creepy
You say it in social settings where people literally go to talk to strangers, like out at bars, a hostel common area, a meetup, whatever
Nobody talks to strangers anon, that type of PUA shit just doesn't happen in real life.
Turbo autist here
Ask these
"Whats your favorite color"
"New order or joy division"
"On a scale of 1-10 , how attractive am i"
"Guess my body count"
It filters out sqaures real quick
These only really make sense when you're on a date, at best. Even then some of them come across as insecure which is offputting.
And favorite color, really? How old are you?
To start talking with strangers, it's easiest to use some common ground you're both experiencing, whether it's the weather, the tourist thing you're doing, the bar you're at, a particular culture thing you noticed, literally anything you're both currently doing.
You want to try to be lighthearted/funny with a small joke but it could be anything as boring as >Hot out today isn't it?
This initial statement is for you to gauge how interested they are with talking.
If they give a short 1 word response or pretend you don't exist, it means they're not interested so don't engage further, you'll probably just annoy them.
If they respond positively at all, either with a smile, or an agreement, or they ask you about yourself then you're good to go and talk more.
As for what to talk about, ask questions and pay attention. This is a whole another human being with an experience completely different from your own and you know nothing about them, so listen. As for questions you can ask, you can get into who they are, what they do, what they're doing here, are they from around here or how long they're here. Likewise you can share what you're doing there, how long you've been there, things you've done or seen, etc. As soon as they mention anything of interest or anything you know about, you can comment on it, or share a similar experience. Just be careful not to interrupt too much (if you do, make sure to give them space to continue), and don't try to one-up them, it just comes across as rude.
It's really as simple as that, pretty straightforward flowchart even NPCs can follow.
Im 32 and you would easily get filtered from those questions as a homosexual moron
Give me questions that a homosexual like you would approve of so I can understand a npc homosexual brain better
I already did moron, what's wrong, got two wieners in your eyes that you can't read?
Ok so yes just as I thought .
"How are you"
"The weather"
"Where u going"
"What do u do"
So just basic npc questions?
Do you have any more interesting or unusual questions that have any more depth?
Yeah that's what you start with when you're cold approaching random strangers when there's nothing going on, then as you learn more about each other you have more common ground and interesting things to talk about. This idea of having a notebook of clever one-liners you can zing off to make yourself appear more interesting is a meme.
Actually, maybe asking random people to rate your attractiveness or guess your bodycount would be so embarrassingly cringe that it could work. Hold a microphone when you approach people and get a friend to hold a camera and you have a shitty youtube channel ready to go.
Like i said . The purpose of my
"Interesting questions" are mostly to be used as a filter
When i ask a weenie like you ( my opinion of course, others might think you are cool) one of my questions and you cringe. It quickly helps me realize you are not interesting or quick witted or open enough to enjoy a silly question and joke back or say something funny back
And yes your right, my questions arent really that funny or open ended... which is why i am trying to find better ones
Especially better ones for women because they arent good with witt or sarcasm.
"If you could have sex with any animal , what would it be ?"
"Have you ever had a 3 some"?
"Whats something crazy you have done"
"what is your favorite Pokeman? Bulbasaur or Charizard? And why?"
Leave them 5 mn to explain their choice.
Thats a pretty good one
"Street fighter or mortal kombat and why" is a good one i askvtxagx
>just have be cool and be yourself, bro
>t. Chad
Bait
He sounds chad because did a chad thing by getting out of his comfort zone.
You can be a chad too, just stop being a fricking moron.
It's definitely easier to meet people out at bars. Alcohol makes most people more social. But it's definitely harder to meet people when you're traveling solo. You really have to be outgoing as a single dude to just start chatting up random chicks in a bar. I have a knack for finding fun people when I'm out just walking around. I'll chat people up and I usually end up getting invited out. I genuinely get excited to meet new people and I like to hear about their travels.
If you're an autist with no friends at home, why would you think it would be any different on vacation?
I either drag someone with me or just sip vodka out of a water bottle all day. Speed/Adderall completely kills all of my social anxiety too
Anyway who wants to come somewhere with me
You must be around my power level of autistic i.e not somebody I'll end up having to babysit that happened once and it was fricking awful
My shitty toxic relationship is probably about to be over and my plan is to just go somewhere to coom for like a Month on a very tight budget probably backpack around a lot and do some photography
you're not interested in the history or architecture of the city? why the hell are you even travelling? if you want sex then save your money and invest in clothes and a gym membership. if you actually have an interest in travel then it should be pretty self explanatory. jesus fricking christ i want to kill someone for this post
t. doesnt travel
If you'd be an autist you wouldn't want to socialize with some people.
my desire to coom exceeds my desire to be alone
I always had really bad anxiety until I was about 18 so I can still envision the old memories of feeling weird/shy/feeling like I had nothing to talk about with people. Spent a few years in Uni working towards goals and putting myself out there but still was pretty introverted.
Took 1.5 years off to Travel through Europe and Asia. When you first kick off it can feel weird since you don't know the norms of travel life. Best tips I can give are these:
>Always stay at hostels - it is nearly impossible to not strike up conversation with people in your dorm rooms or at least common areas. People will often start talking with you, and when you get more used to it be the one to start. Start with all the basics (which get very repetitive over time, but always work) of where they're from, their travel plans, etc, throw in some good ideas or recommendations for them, find stuff in common then go from there. You're now "linked" with them and can now invite them or be invited for bar crawls/hostel drinking games, exploring the city, etc
>The "free" city tours are always good too to meet and at least chat with people for a couple of hours to build the skills up. Sometimes after the tours if you're getting along well say "Hey I'm grabbing coffee/food, want to come? (Usually easier if a couple of people)
>Pub crawls are always a good night, you'll likely jump around between heaps of different people and as you drink it all flows easier.
Once you're more in the swing of doing these things it becomes second nature - I went to a hostel and the next city from me in my own country for a taste of it the other day and same thing worked like a charm and spent the night hanging out with a bunch of Dutch/English chicks. As your confidence grows women will be more comfortable and if you spend a few days exploring the city/travelling together its pretty easy to hook up. By this level of experience/confidence I start to have girls approach me (7-8 out of 10s, nothing extraordinary).
All this advice is gay and you're all Black folk for suggesting being degenerates. Op you should go sign up for something physical. Portugal is a great surf spot go do a week of surf lessons, or an art tour or find small tours in the city. Bonds are made over mutual experience so.seek that out and you'll be fine.
I'm an autist who travels solo and still hasn't figured out how to make friends but I thought of a few solutions that aren't degenerate and should work. I need some feedback from more experienced people
My solution would be traveling to places where nature is the main focus and go on group excursions, hikes, guided tour about local food/streetfood, photography tours, fishing tours etc.
Perhaps I won't make friends every single time I go out on an activity like this but eventually overtime I should make a decent amount of friends right?
Sounds like a good plan Anon. You may run into mostly boomers and not people your own age, depending on the activity. This is the only downside I can think of. Also while there is an element of luck in terms of how well you will get along with the people of some activity, do understand you'll get better at these things with practice. It's okay if you mess up, try to be constructive and see what people find charming, what people find off-putting, etc. You can also try this kind of thing in your own city once you have some confidence, if there are any hobbies or interests you have that don't involve travel.
Not sure if it's a viable option for you personally but tinder bumble or a different dating app can be a great way to meet someone local and have them show you the city, or even just meeting someone to just get lunch with so you don't eat alone for a change. If you approach it with the attitude of aiming for friends with sex being just a potential bonus if you have the right connection, it's much nicer rather than placing a pressure on yourself to coom. Meeting potential romantic partners doesn't have to be degenerate - for example exploring a city at night via moto with with a girl you just recently met holding you tight is kino.
Thanks for the thread. I’m going out tonight. Wish me luck.
depends how extreme your autismo is. i have found that travel is just fundamentally incompatible with my level of spergdom, unless the place is quiet and slow-paced. there's just too much shit to adapt and respond to at once. and the minute locals clock my autism things get horrible and awkward. the only way i can travel is with a neurotypical friend on tardwrangling duties and it's not fair to dump that kind of a travel experience on them
I thought I had aspergers when I was 18. But I've travelled alone at that time and realized that I am just introverse, dislike most people, chit chat and things like that. Travelling was really easy actually. Most of the extroverted social people I know were really afraid of travelling alone. I just did what I do in my hometown. Walk around, take public transportation, go to parks, visit museums, get a drink at a bar... Really easy.
If you do have autism just go to places where you do not need to deal with lots of people, where there is not much noise (if you have hyperacusis) and plan the details ahead. You'll be fine if you're able to live on your own where you live. If you cannot, then it is better not to travel or do as
>the minute locals clock my autism things get horrible and awkward.
That's why i never stay more than 3 nights at the same place.
At some point, the owner of the hotel starts asking questions.
go check out slab city, theres a frick ton of autist living there. i once had my camp taken over by two of them, shit was hilarious
>90% of this thread
>pub crawl/drugs/fricking tinder overall coomsuming
>this is the way to "travel" and expirience the real deal tm
>meanwhile the only people that do this are psychologicaly jaded 1st worlders that want to brag about their journeys and recieve some acknowlegement + finally feel that they connect to someone.
Travel really is strange place, I know it turs into sex turism board from quite some time, the change is is slow but its more and more prominent lately, but god, why people tell others how they should expirience the act of travel?
Its a very subjective feeling and differs from person to person, maybe its the mentioned change in demograpics that cause it but what about those people that travel to expirience nature, monuments, history? You can even add the culture, beacuse going for pub crawl usualy gives you 0 inside into it(there are some exceptions).
Dont let wannabe extravert travellers tell you how you should enjoy your trips, you should figure out yourself what is good for you. Some people are more suited to travel than others, but dont just follow this american trend way of expiriencing the world, at best its just fricking lousy egotrip.
>former autist/NEET
>now social with a good life
>tomorrow traveling for the first time in my life alone
I'm still a bit nervous lads but I'm sure I'll have a great time with people I'll meet there.
It's fine to be a bit nervous anon, if anything that just means you're looking forward to your trip ironically. Have a great time.
Thanks fren. When I return I'll post in this thread.
autist
there's no such thing as a former autist
update: it's hard to make friends or hit on someone. everyone seems with family, a group or a bf. And I'm in a city without real clubs so no dancing where I can try. I feel alone.
70% of adult males or something have no friends, it's not totally an autist thing.
I'll never understand when people say they make friends every travel, when in fact, people make friends at school, at their job, from friends' friends and if they practice a hobby in a club.
Normal people don't befriend some loner they met at the Colosseum or some shit.
Should I do my update? I returned.
You’re literally me…
🙁
It's all about managing your expectations, which basically means stop expecting your life to change when you go someplace new. Also, stop feeling sorry for yourself. There is nothing worse than being mopey and miserable while surrounded by happy people having fun. Learn to enjoy your solo life first, then you will manifest the good vibes you need to make friends, go out on the town and have a little fun. Heck, walk around with a speaker playing your favorite music if it makes you feel good. Smile at any girl or woman who looks your way, if you feel happy. Good vibes are universal.
I made the mistake of traveling abroad and HOLY FRICK everyone is interrogating me
>why are you traveling alone?!?! That… le weird?!?!?! Dont you have any friends???!!!! Why dont you just stay home???
Like, holy frick. Why are these people singling me out so hard like this
Also tonite I went out to see the city and a bunch of zoomer twinks were giving me these minute long death glares. I have no idea why. I expected them to come over to start a fight at least, but none of then ever did.
I went put and ordered food and the guy doing the food was deliberately pretending not to speak english, while taking everyone elses orders in english
Whats going in here exactly
On* here
kek where'd you go that people asked this? Are you very young or something where typically people would travel with friends because that's when they have free time? I've literally never seen anyone give a shit about someone traveling alone.
Questions happened to me too but they were asked in a curious manner because almost no one travels alone from where I live and my age also(early 20s)
This is what solo traveling looks like for me (skip to 21:10)
It's not terrible, you do enjoy yourself, you do things if you have the confidence to dine alone and such, but it's also very foolish and sad, and you are even more alone in the middle of the crowd that you would be on top of a mountain.
Personally, it makes me feel even more into myself than usual, more autistic and more alone, so much that if someone could explode in front of me, i wouldn't even flinch.
Also, i mostly liked my solo travels and i'm proud to have the mental to do it, because a lot of "normies" can't be by themselve and can't deal with flights and hotels in foreign countries alone and so on, while i'm able to do that...
YET i am not able to form normal, meaningful and deep relationships with people 🙁
You’re a bunch of degenerate pieces of shit, I just followed your “advice”, went around drinking and now I just got the worst hangover of my life.
OP, don’t even give it a shot, it’s miserable and the hangover isn’t worth it.
Outdoors guided activities seem like a much better solution
>he didn't drink equal amounts of water
ngmi
You know you're not obligated to get shitfaced when you're out drinking, right? A couple of drinks to loosen up and then cruising at that level of buzz through the night is easy and doesn't leave you feeling like shit the next day
OMFG don't listen to all these loser likely Americans telling you to become a drug addict and alcoholic to bond with other drug addict and alcoholic losers like them.
Being autistic is hard enough of a life travail. Do you want to also be a drug addict and alcoholic on top of it?
There is something seriously wrong with Americans and they don't even know it. I went to Bill Burr's recent standup comedy routine at the Prudential Center at Newark. I saw huge lines of slovenly Americans who must have waited maybe 30-45 minutes or so(that is my estimate of how long it would have taken on those huge concession lines), maybe even more to get chicken wings, alcohol and maybe both because they literally can't go through 2 hours of standup without getting alcoholic drunks and/or food. I even saw this alcoholic click of young white guys were so bad, they literally left in the middle of Bill Burr's set to get more alcohol. Admittedly it was only one person.
But I have been noticing this more and more, everytime I go to a concert I also notice that Americans are serious alcoholics and people go up to concession to get like 3-6 beers. This country is collapsing because of all these loser drug addicts and alcoholics.
some good advice in the thread
as a socially anxious autist myself, for the love a god work out and take care of your skin and hair
it's literally the only way I can talk to people because I end up standing out a little bit and get approached and welcomed by the few people who like me
from there you learn the queues when people are looking at you and try to say hi etc. because not everyone will reach out to you
How were you able to deal with payment challenges, the last time i went abroad my cards were declined at some stores.
VISA cards should solve half of your payment challenges.
Virtual VISA cards are a good bet especially the Miles card considering it gives access to amazing cashbacks.
I'm travelling through Europe rn, dunno if it will work for you but I make friends whenever I go out even as an introvert. I'm Latino so I go to latin bars, drink a couple of beers, meet other Latinos that are alone and we always end dancing with girls by the end of the night. I haven't coom but it's better than being by yourself.
Go to bars where your people go, if there's none. Go to a latin bar, we are usually very friendly.
Good luck anon
>introvert.
>I go to latin bars
You don't know what a fricking introvert is, Juanito.
I just go to beaches/trails/nature in general and move around for 10 hours until I'm so exhausted that I just lay in bed after 6pm and wake up at 7am to do the same again. Really don't care much about walking in cities, with some exceptions that can be done in half a day.