I just came from my solo trip to Vietnam. Had the time of my life, I did whatever I wanted no anxiety or depression.
I come back home and I feel more depressed and lonely than I've ever felt at home.
Anyone else experienced this before. How do you deal with it?
I really dont see a way to fix this other than just moving to SEA
Nope. Helps I have a fulfilling career and people that I love waiting for me to come back home 🙂
>How do you deal with it?
My coping mechanism is to plan the next trip right away. I end up feeling less sad and more excited about what I'm gonna do on the next trip. Have travel constantly on your mind.
The positive is I was contemplating suicide if I didnt enjoy the trip.
I ended up having the time of my life, which only makes me wonder why I am so depressed at home
Because you have nothing to live for. Your life is so hollow you travel in order to give it purpose.
That sounds like a cultural problem, referring to whatever country where OP lives, that cannot even compete with fricking Vietnam
That's very much a personal problem. Call it a failure to adapt, failure to even try.
I guess that depends on whether the other guy gives the same effort in his home country as he did in Vietnam. If he gave a similar effort with shittier results, then it's most definitely a cultural problem then.
Become socially aggressive in your asocial western country. Mumble to yourself and talk shit to others. Embody the spirit of a vietnamese street tout and offer snooty young girls your services. Get some drugs and become like a Nigerian on Sukhumvit saying whats up bro to everyone you walk past. Never give up.
>a Nigerian on Sukhumvit saying whats up bro to everyone you walk past.
LMAO one asked my gf I was her brother and did she want to go dancing later.
I'm anxious and depressed as frick back home and travel to escape but problems tend to follow me. I just like being a long way from home so I can bury my head in the sand for a while. Coming home to a shit broke life is no fun, the only way is to book another trip to lok forward to asap. Problem is as you get older, travelling loses its excitement and you develop anhedonia so it just becomes a pretty empty and futile experience
>anhedonia
This is me, travel use to be my great escape but as I get older the social connections that come with travel also lessen as people just lose interest in you after 30 and I find myself just wondering around alone in this country or that country. Apps prove less powerful as you age.
Nothing brings any happiness anymore for me. I just look at OAP sexpats and that's my motivation not to completely fall apart. I'd rather be dead than end up so fricking pathetic
I've never been a sexpat once, always got it organically when travelling but now on the way to 40 I am basically going to be married to my hand or have to turn to sex services
I think it's because older men are more intimidating. Also older men (35+) should have families, it's kinda weird if they don't
Yep, but I don't so it's weird, so no one will talk, so I can't have a family.
Just wait. It'll be you soon, at 50, sleeveless shirt, talking to a busted bar lady.
>as people just lose interest in you after 30
not really man, I met travellers over 30 who interesting. i see what you are saying locals think its weird for a man to be over 30 and not married. "why ou travel bro?" but I met a jap over 6) easily traveling solo in Nepal. I wonder if he is still alive.
In Letters from a Stoic by Seneca:
“Socrates made the same remark to one who complained; he said: “Why do you wonder that traveling does not help you, seeing that you always take yourself with you? The reason which set you wandering is ever at your heels.” ... "Do you ask why such flight does not help you? It is because you flee along with yourself. You must lay aside the burdens of the mind; until you do this, no place will satisfy you.”
Right in the feels.
Post Big event depression is a common thing. But if you really benefit so much from a change of scenery, why do you still call your current residence your home? Maybe you should move away from there?
You could always come back later when you're older, right?
I always have post travel depression because I would visit my wife and then have to come back home. We got married last trip so now it's just waiting a year or so for immigration so she can move to usa
Aww 🙂
Where did you buy her?
Didn't buy her actually.We met online playing games almost 8 years ago and been dating the entire time. She pays for her own stuff
Ah ok, congrats man! Feels good to finally read a post that isn't doomershit
Thanks! Yeah most people on here just seem to be super spergy instead of just genuine,, but what else can you expect from SighSee
Which country is she from?
Brazil. I feel like it's a country people just shit on here. It's definitely worth traveling to. Beautiful place with lots to see and a lot safer than people make you believe.
The biggest downside is honestly just the plane tickets cost. It's so expensive at least from USA. They can cost even more than going to some European countries or even Japan
Brazil is indeed amazing, got to spend a spring/summer in São Paulo and Mato Grosso. really wanna return to see Minas Gerais and the coast. Where is your wife from?
She grew up in Rio, but moved to Fortaleza. How was Mato Grosso? Did you get to see the amazon? Have you get a yellow fever vaccine? Sao Paulo is one of the places I wish I stayed longer. Out of all the places I've been so far in Brazil I'd say I enjoyed Rio, Petropolis, and Pipa the most. I found Ilha Grande the most overrated
i hear ya. Mato Grosso is amazing and beautiful for what it is. Underdeveloped. Pantanal is cool. I spent some time out in the bush, yeah. Thank you for sharing.
and yes i got a yellow fever vaccine
>Brazil
lmao, she will abandon you as soon as she's set herself up financially in the US.
You'll see.
Yeah I'm sure my aspie wife I've been dating for years will abandon me right away
I'll keep that in mind
how do you get an aspie wife when ur a aspie, asking for a friend, nah I don't have any friends, asking for myself.
We met on omegle
yes, it doesnt go away. the best years of my life were on the road
>I'm 43 and having plenty of sex in Vietnam without paying.
How many Vietnamese women have you fricked, what is the age range, and do you creampie them?
pic for you
I used to travel with family and came back feeling depressed most times. We all have different needs that need to be fulfilled.
Depression is a sadness, the opposite of sadness is joy. There must be some kind sadness around your home. If you can support the focus to some kind of contentment like a goal, desire, need. Then slowly but surely it'll change. But ultimately you must simply focus on your self, as what is external can only be influenced. Your thoughts can be controlled and influenced so where should you put most effort?
To move the mountain of emotions, start by taking a stone to the place in which you wish your emotions to be.
I'd start with little things to be grateful for. day in day out see for yourself the difference of acknowledging the little things in our daily life.
this is only my take on the mental emotional aspect of depression as i have suffered a physical aspect as well.
Peterson helped me cement the importance of routines.
?t=1
additional suggestions :
Earl Nightingale - attitude and excellence
>live laugh love image
The Buddha never said any of that
I did just that, moving to Vietnam and starting a company. Normal life here is a lot different than travelling, but I heavily prefer it over the woke hell hole in Europe. Best decision I made in my life by far
Most Vietnamese women do not take kindly to you leaving however. I can certainly see the benefit of paying 60$ and having no hard feelings
>I did just that, moving to Vietnam and starting a company.
Thats great anon. What company did you start and how long have you been in Vietnam for? What you like best about Vietnam?
Been here 1.5 years, started a software company here a year ago. It's just more comfortable here.
Living expenses are low, the weather is great, and the people are genuine and friendly.
The women here are hot and generally take good care of you if you treat them well
It's an easy life if you're willing and capable to start over in another country
>Been here 1.5 years, started a software company here a year ago
Is your company profitable yet? Do you hire local talent or you're a 1-man company?
The income currently comes from me freelancing. I hired two local developers fresh from university, they make 4$ an hour which is pretty good starting here.
They are busy with some past projects of mine I don't have the time for. In the future I'll look into getting into offshoring
That's great anon. Best of luck to you. Have a viet hottie
Thanks bro, she's beautiful
Once I opened my business here I hired myself as CEO and got a temporary residence permit that way. I had a good consultant which helped me through the process, total cost around $2000
Did you have to pay for a business visa? I heard its expensive right?
you really think that nightmare creature on your picture is attractive?
you really can't see how idiotic that face filter looks like? not to mention the skin bleaching dear fricking god
>The trick is to learn the language.
Start now, homie.
Cool, I'll spend 20 mins on Duolingo during my outbound flight
I finished the Duolingo Vietnamese and I still suck ass but I know enough that it absolutely helps me get laid. I have put a ton of time into it but I also think language is fun for its own sake and I'm living here now, so I understand that if pussy is the only reason you're doing it then maybe it's more trouble than it's worth.
My Vietnamese friend said the opposite She said the women call you fat and have a billion rules to follow and are bossy ad and all you do is work and it's boring.
The girl I've been dating wants me to get fatter. "Em thích anh béo một chút"
Is she fat? Be honest
I would be honest if she was but she's not.
I think this is common, I have a Vietnamese gf and she wants me to get fatter too. Picrel is a good demonstration of Vietnamese mindset imo. I think in the west most people who see pics like this see a guy who's gotten apathetic and lazy, and a woman who's resorted to surgery because she's insecure/immature, or perhaps attempting to get the attention of new men.
But on Vietnamese social media this pic was spread around as a success story. Women take it as a point of pride that their partner looks like that because it shows they treat their husband well, whilst the surgery is seen as good that the woman still tries to stay beautiful for her husband.
She looked better in 2015
Similiar age, when everyone moves on and you don't or haven't it's fricking hard to kinda know what to do eh. I think drinking is the way to meet people though.
Yep. Really wish I'd got a career, wife and kids now to be honest. Middle age with no purpose is pretty fricking shit. I barely drink or socialise these days either so that aspect of travelling is lost too.
And you also don't want to because you're older and so am I, I can't help but feeling like an old fraud going out with 20 somethings but sitting alone in my hotel with porn also isn't going to bring the desired results, everyone moved on but me 🙁
I didn't move on either bro. Just become an English teacher and stay like I did
haha what country? I was actually an English teacher in Japan but I couldn't handle it lol. Where do you teach?
Vietnam. I thought I was going to lose my mind at first but it's getting more chill, and I love this country, its food, and its women.
How do you survive on a local salary but bro? Vietnam is so third world, I actually travel there a lot as it's so cheap. I like it, being badgered all the time sucks though if you're white. I am almost 40 and work a shit job, probably a Vietnam girl is all I am good enough for.
English teachers make around $2000 a month which is A LOT more than a local salary. You can save up 500$ a month easily if you don't blow it all on alcohol and girls.
Vietnam women are not easier. Most that speak English are either prostitutes or come from rich families.
Both of them have the perception that all foreigners are rich and can afford a new chanel bag every month. They don't seem to know a middle ground between a 10k a year salary and a 100k a year one
I make less than 2k because I'm a newbie and my company is meh but it's still plenty to live.
>Both of them have the perception that all foreigners are rich and can afford a new chanel bag every month.
Not true at all bro. Current perception white people are broke begpackers or sexpat ESL teachers. Too many cases of broke white begpackers being shared on Facebook.
Sure, a white living in Thao Dien is rich but not when he's slumming it as some low paid English teacher.
Salary has also risen in Vietnam. Middle managers can make $1.5K if she works for an international company. Senior programmers can make $2K, $3K in Saigon.
Not a good sign when white people are begging in Vietnam. 1990s, 2000s, early 2010s white people were seen as rich.
Late 2010s, early 2020s white people are seen as poor begpackers and sexpats because of the internet.
Every time there is a white foreigner that pump and dumps a local Vietnamese, she shares it on Facebook and post gets 100K views.
>Every time there is a white foreigner that pump and dumps a local Vietnamese, she shares it on Facebook and post gets 100K views.
maybe don't lie to women and have a mutual agreement it's a one night stand.
>maybe don't lie to women and have a mutual agreement it's a one night stand.
kek how else would he get laid? he doesn't have any money to pay for it
look fren, I understand what you are dealing with right now, the best thing I can suggest for you is try to pick up a hobby or activity to keep your mind off of whatever is bothering you back at home, plan your next trip, but in the mean time try to keep yourself occupied with something else until you can go back again.
I don't understand all of this hubbub about southeast Asia unless you're into ladyboys. Everything you want and then some can be had at great civilized destinations like London or Brussels. Never once traveled to either and left dissatisfied.
>I don't understand all of this hubbub about southeast Asia unless you're into ladyboys
That's exactly what I'm into. I would never condone sex tourism, but do get yourself a cute lb gf if you have the chance
They're not as clean by default as Japanese or Chinese ladyboys though, that's what gets me.
It’s safe, cheap, warm, the customer service is top notch, drugs are readily available, prostitution is de facto legal in a myriad of ways that cater to any taste, food is amazing. The only reason to not come here is if you are so rich that you can ball out in a first world country. When I say rich I mean actually rich like multimillionaire not some upper middle class schlub.
SEA is much safer and friendlier than Latin America.
SEA is much warmer and cheaper than Europe.
Downside is the lack of neat, aesthetic town centers like most cities built by Europeans have, whether in Europe or the Americas. At least in PH, the cities are just so fricking ugly and devoid of any aesthetic consideration.
Traveling to London or Brussels in winter, that's a hard nope. I'd only travel to Europe in summer, but it can be challenging to leave my job when the workload peaks, especially when my boss refuses to hire additional help because "you do your job so well".
I agree about the customer service being among the best anywhere in the world. Drugs and prostitution, that's primarily in the shithole degeneracy zones. They are the worst for scamming, hustling and thieving as well. Fortunately, such areas are a very small portion of Southeast Asia.
It sounds like you had a vacation. A time-limited escape from drudgery with plenty of money to spend, you'd be hard pressed not to have the time of your life on vacation. Living in a foreign country - or traveling as a lifestyle - is a whole different ball game. Your presence and life soon becomes normalized, and your daily routine starts looking a lot like the ordinary people around you, apart from having a lot more free time than they do.
>unless you're into ladyboys
What did you do in Vietnam that was so fun?
I'm planning on moving on Europe with the gf and settling down.
My entire life is gonna be a travel holiday. Every weekend a new country. I could bring one of our parents over to look after the future kids while the gf (eventually wife) and I go on a romantic getaway or go to Northern Africa or Western Asia or something for a week.
Or I could take an hour long train ride somewhere and bring the kids to go see some cool historical shit and to go look at world famous artwork.
Saving for a house seems kind of benign when I'll just live and die there alone...
>benign
Are you looking for a different word here?
How come so many girls in Vietnam wanna marry.
A lot of people everywhere want to marry, but Vietnamese women are expected to have children younger than western women and are viewed negatively if they don't.
I have the same thing, I also got back from Vietnam fairly recently. Don't think I have what it takes to move to Vietnam on a long-term basis though, I'm pretty stuck in my ways and would miss my first-world conveniences, plus I barely speak a word of Vietnamese.
What would you miss here? I've been here six months and haven't wished I was back home even one single time.
Mostly when it comes to work. I got lucky and landed a fairly cushy work from home webdev job here. In Vietnam I'd presumably have to work significantly harder for longer hours for a lot less pay, less annual leave, sick pay etc. If I didn't like it I'd have to start over again in the UK and I don't think I'd get so lucky next time.
Before anyone says "just start a business" or "just be a digital nomad", I don't really have what it takes to do that, especially when I still don't even know the basics of the language yet.
Whatever you do, please just don't say digital nomad. Every time I read this, I cringe so hard I feel it in my balls.
So you work remote in Vietnam and enjoy the good life?
Can you still get girls in their 20s?
Unfortunently for me solo travel and constantly not making friends just kinda makes me fall apart.
And I can't get a wife in the west because at 37 it's single ladiesd 10 years younger than me which I can't attract, or single mums. What's the point. I wanna be a dad not a step-dad. Also in the west post 30 no one is a healthy weight.
>Can you still get girls in their 20s?
Can, have, but unironically prefer not to. I like women closer to my own age.
I prefer women that can birth healthy children. So 18-22.
I respect the vast array of taste in women. I don't want kids though so I don't care.
Doesn't everyone not going to work when're 32 though
Not him but can you repeat this in English?
No can I not this do
Your mother has a wiener.
>Also in the west post 30 no one is a healthy weight.
I'm from NZ but ok, seeking asian wifeeeeeeee
>anglos think they don't arr rook same
They do.
Mutt faces in the pines
Snouts in Vietnam
Buck teeth in Japan
moon faces in Korea
Short bowed legs that appear somewhat deformed, particularly the thigh bone
etcetc
going to vietnam solo made me realize a lot when i was 23. Went from an anxious virgin to a slayer, and I ended up just staying out here and making it work. Go remote, and live like a king. It's been 5 years and I couldn't be happier or even imagine going back home.
I'm 43 and I agree. Life is better here. The first world and the people in it suck.
>I need a wife and basically as a low value white male all I can attract is Asian girls so which country will it be.
Why don't you stay in America and find a wife?
Japan was so cool. Saw Tokyo, nara, Osaka, hakone, Kyoto. Want to go again but see different stuff.
>Which Asian country to get a wife?
every time you freaks inquire about this, you're too lazy to type out a complete sentence. It really speaks to your low value despite being white.
Same. honestly thinking about ending it at this point. tired of suffering in my home country and not enough money to leave for good.
Be an English teacher homie.
Yep. Once I got back home I was immediately thinking how do I get back. I moved to a cheaper city, rented a motel room (no lease + can pay rent with travel rewards card) and started delivering pizza and working general labor. I work about 55 hrs a week, a lot, but nothing insane. I got back from Asia after four months in July. I'll be back in a month. When there's a will, there's a way!
Godspeed buddy. I came to Thailand after my dog died earlier in the year because I was so sad I couldn't stay in my apartment anymore without him, and I'd been working a disposable temporary job anyway. The original idea was to just hang out for two months while I kept looking for jobs in the US but after I got here I knew right away I didn't want to go back home (because frick that, obviously) so I cancelled my return ticket, enrolled in a CELTA program, and now I'm teaching in Vietnam with no plans to leave. Where there is a will there is indeed a way.
Thanks anon. And sorry about your dog. I love animals but I lost my dad. I'm going to spend a lot of time in Hoi An in 2024 hopefully Vietnam is good to us.
Good for you anon. How old are you?
same thing after I got back from ‘nam
that was February
it is now the end of the year and the feeling has persisted
I hate my great successful comfy American life and I want to go back immediately
Once you see Asia, you see Asia.
Inspiring story, I've only seen Japan and Vietnam but Thailand sounds like a pretty nice mix between them both. I also work a temporary disposable job. How did you get use to teaching, was it in tense?
Hoi Ann is beautiful but gets boring outside the heritage areas.
This is smart I also try to live like a pauper here.
..Just go to your local Vietnamese Resteraunt ?
Vietnamese town?
Phan Van Phuc market or whatever they called?
(You)
Very cool, I'll go to Thailand in 6 months
First time, I need something in my life that isn't my menial job and small apartment
Post travel depression is normal. You just had an awesome adventure, tasted real freedom, experienced an unbeatable natural high... Then had it all ripped away from you upon returning to joyless wage slavery. It happened to me as well when I returned from South America, both times.
>How do you deal with it
Accept that what goes up, must come down. Be grateful you got to travel, most never leave their comfort zone.
>Just move to SEA
I think you've solved your own problem lol