So I fell for the meme and moved to Asia thinking that it would help me solve my problems.
Long story short, all my problems are now twice as big.
Can I get some advice on how to handle the increased difficulty in fixing my life? It's very difficult to apply standard advice in this case. E.g. "just go out and meet people" doesn't work as easily due to the cultural and language differences making it extremely hard to relate to people and form relationships with them. "Just join some hobby group" is also difficult due to the necessity to speak the language at an advanced level to participate in pretty much any hobby.
I've tried just traveling around but honestly it gets really lonely if I do it solo. I just don't have any friends or people to connect with.
Finding frickbuddies is possible but it doesn't help my mental health.
I am learning the language but it takes years to reach conversational fluency, and I will have likely offed myself by then.
Sounds like you know the answer OP.
You either gotta meet a bilingual gal, go somewhere in asia with more of them, or move back to English speaking world
Checked. There's no way someone looking for such an easy fix is capable of learning another language. OP is fricked and a loser.
bump
You should've learned more of the language before you moved...
Imagine a Russian guy moving to Florida thinking it'll solve all his problems without learning English - it makes you look like an butthole, even if it's just a mistake you weren't aware of
>even if it's just a mistake you weren't aware of
I can't imagine how someone could possibly make a "mistake" in not considering that they should learn the language of a foreign country before moving there. Wouldn't that be one of the first things to consider?
I mean most people move for jobs, they're not going to spend years autistically learning a language before moving.
also, there are MANY countries where you can not just survive, but even thrive with just English. some places in Asia (Japan, Korea, etc) are exceptional in how shit everyone there is at English.
You clearly haven't been to south Florida.
>So I fell for the meme and moved to Asia thinking that it would help me solve my problems.
What kind of dipshit meme was this? I’ve always felt like SighSee‘s advice is more often “If you’re a sad loser at home you will be the same sad loser abroad,” or similar, which, while unkind, is closer to accurate for most people. Nearly all of us take most of our problems with us. I have found that new environments typically cheer me up and energize me, but they don’t automatically fix anything I’m not actively working on somehow.
Was this just some kind of incel meme? Were the problems you hoped moving to Asia would solve really just that girls at home aren’t into you?
Anyway, if your problem is social isolation exacerbated by the language barrier, go sign up for a local, in-person language class. Not private lessons, not online. This offers you both a structured opportunity to improve and probably speed up your language acquisition, and puts you in a room with other foreigners who are presumably also newly arrived and facing similar challenges with getting settled whether they know it or not. Until such time as you feel confident speaking whichever language you’re learning, your peers and natural social circle aren’t locals, they’re other expats/immigrants/visitors. This circle will be naturally and gradually supplemented by your classmates’ local girlfriends/wives/boyfriends/husbands and their friends, and by the inevitable local college students learning English who like to hang out with foreigners that most people meet eventually.
It’s a variation on the club/meetup/hobby theme, sure, but it’s also functionally helpful to you if you actually intend to try and stick around wherever you are.
The fact that some people move to a foreign nation without learning even the basics of the language spoken there is baffling to me. I can't imagine how isolating it must be not being to communicate with the people around you.
>The fact that some people move to a foreign nation without learning even the basics of the language spoken there is baffling to me.
I agree with you that from a distance it seems like a terrible idea, but in practice it’s actually an exceedingly common approach among white-collar types. I’ve known LOTS of people to get moved by or for their jobs who’ve only started trying to learn local languages once on the ground. Of course, these sorts are usually working in English with other expats, and often have local handlers showing them around and translating and assisting, so they’re not as adrift as it sounds like OP might be. And of course some countries are simply more difficult than others to get around in without local language skills.
But even someone showing up all alone without a word of the local lingo somewhere completely alien where locals suck at English isn’t going to be the first to have pulled it off.
it used to be the case very often, in the past. Also, the best way to learn a new language, since you are obligated to speak/read/listen to it everywhere.
You just have to be a normal and somewhat charismatic person to do it, abilities that most people don't have anymore nowadays
The problem is from you, try to get away from you.
This is an /adv/ post
First, accept this simple truth: people who are enjoying simple & happy lives are incapable of sharing your heavy burdens. They can share THEIR good vibes, but it seems like that is not enough, as your focus is so overwhelmingly inward that you are unable to admit their good energy into your mind.
This powerful longing to escape the misery of self-obsession is valid. It requires forming deep, intense, GIVING relationships with people in order to break down the ego barrier and start living with your life focus directed entirely outward.
My advice is to return to a Western country and pursue life in an intentional community, preferably a radical one. Yes, this will involve giving up your freedom and your possessions, subsuming your "I" mindset for a "we" mindset, which can be a very tough pill to swallow. At first you will feel like you are contributing more than you are receiving. You could be doing a million other things, what's the use of all this slaving away, it's all pointless, blah blah blah. This is the ego deploying psychological weapons to resist its dissolution. Mental habits die hard, that is another simple truth. Even suicide is merely the ego insisting maniacally that destroying the body is preferable to destroying the ego's domination.
tl;dr version
Which country did you move to? Anons will be able to offer more specific advice if you tell us more details. What problems did you have in the West?
>people who are enjoying simple & happy lives are incapable of sharing your heavy burdens
>your focus is so overwhelmingly inward that you are unable to admit their good energy into your mind
>A fresh start on the other side of the world seemed like a great idea. At the time you weren't thinking of it as an escape - all you knew was pain and you saw a way out of it. For a while it worked. But now the honeymoon period is over.
>교포
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korean_diaspora
>Việt Kiều
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overseas_Vietnamese
These excerpts are insightful, and they resonate a lot with the pseudo-normie/autism-lite persona. It's not our fault we're like this, but it's our fault for not trying to better ourselves by carefully considering our thoughts and our actions. Moving to a non-english speaking country without knowing the language is something that you might have considered, but still decided to pull the trigger on. Hopefully you aren't currently in a dire financial situation where it matters. If finances are taken care of, you get to choose what bothers you in the world. Either embrace your situation, or do something else.
I moved to Asia as an introverted teenage weeb in search of some fantastical IRL anime life. 2 decades later I'm still here, having bounced a bit around the region. Here's some advice because you asked for it.
You were dealt an autism lite card. A fresh start on the other side of the world seemed like a great idea. At the time you weren't thinking of it as an escape - all you knew was pain and you saw a way out of it. For a while it worked. But now the honeymoon period is over. You're a stranger in a strange land, but at least you're an outsider in a place where that's what is expected of you. All those stupid pressures that make Asians conform and jump on the train tracks in droves every day? They don't apply to you. Talk with a returning 교포 or Việt Kiều to see how fricked up it is to be an outsider in your own culture.
But you're still alienated, surrounded by
>conforming Asian normies who will never relate to someone that's moved halfway across the world
>self-hating Asians who use Western style/habits, grasp of English and foreign "friends" as a flex to signal that they are better/worldier than everyone else
>Asians who think you're just here to pump and dump and spread HIV
>Western roasties who slyly poke fun at you because you never got dates at home
>Western men who bitterly imagine you having an unrestricted life of freedom all day every day and want to see you fail
>underpaid jaded English teachers who wallow in self-misery
>turbo tech chad expats high on life
>transient tourists who never stick around long enough to make a meaningful connection
>expats who flex on you with their language skills and would really like you to please frick off so they can keep larping as Samurai William
Someone says "move back to the West". But you know you'll still have all your problems, plus
>being put a decade or more behind everyone else
>carjackings, muggings, shit infrastructure
>a culture that blames you for everything that's wrong with the world
Gee anon, I guess you feel really special about having lived in Asia, but you come off as really fricking pathetic and desperate for attention instead
don't be mean to effort posters
he doesn't seem pathetic to me
I think I'm the AIDS guy
>Thailand
So you try to stick it out. 4 stages of development await you.
1 Max misery
Woe is me. Nobody understands my suffering. If only someone would strike up a meaningful conversation and validate my existence. Time to bask in drugs, self-pity and French philosophy for months/years/a lifetime, until..
2 Who are these people anyway?
>immediate family
>girlfriend/wife
>professional responsibilities (ie boss, superiors, clients)
Does the person in front of me fall into any of those categories? Do they even have anything remotely useful for me? Frick them. But let's not be rude about it. Maybe it's..
3 Time to glow
Identify all the areas you are lacking in and stick to consistent habits to make life better. Talk to 3 strangers a day, 6am cold morning shower, daily workouts to keep spirits up, cut down on drugs/alcohol. All the basic b***h self improvement shit that seems utterly vapid and meaningless but actually works because it reduces PAIN in your life and makes feeling alive worth it.
4 Maintenance
Keep working on actively making incremental improvements to your life.
Congratulations, you've just made your own existence significantly less hellish and the people back home are seething just that little bit harder.
Enjoy life, bud. 99% of the people around you will never even conceive of the experiences you've had from living in different cultures. If you could trade your set of issues for theirs just for a chance at social integration, would you even want to?
Lastly - don't forget to visit home occasionally. It reminds you why you left in the first place and helps you to appreciate your new life.
>tldr; not giving too many fricks about social validation from strangers while simultaneously staying courteous towards them and working on your personal vision will make life worth living and infuse you with the kind of energy that people naturally gravitate towards. Also, frick moving back home. I'd rather be a googly eyed gaijin in Nipland than a slaver devil in Oklahoma.
Just go to a good psychiatrist, it'll help
Sounds like the solution to all your problems is very easy: learn the language.
*rolls eyes in coomer*
Pop a viagra and bone a goga girl in the bj booth with one way glass
Here in PH, there is no language barrier for English speakers, nor is it difficult to find real friends who have zero interest in taking advantage of a foreigner. However, years of social coldness in America have taken their toll on my personality, with normal emotional responses simply absent in many cases. This is why chicks here find me so off-putting. It's like trying to flirt with a robot, LOL. The guys who become my best friends here are also guys with a cold nature who struggle finding a partner. We dubbed our group the "Always Single Club".
morons will literally go to thailand and PH and be single and blame it on some weird personality excuse from their history
astounding
Of course you can paypig for hole access in SEA, you imbecile. JSM - Just Spend Money. But unless you have appetites and budgets which allow your entire time here to revolve around it, P4P is completely irrelevant to having a fulfilling social life or finding a woman who is genuinely attracted to you.
>moved to Asia
Frick you, you piece of shit. I’ll never have that option. I’ll never be able to just decide to “move” to Asia on a long term basis. I get to watch other homosexuals avail themselves of the opportunity to live my dream life. Best I can do is short stints, see how good life can be for brief moments, and then plunge back into a literal house of horrors back in America where i have no life, no pussy, no affection, no community, no affiliation, nothing. Just ugly desperate poor brown people EVERYWHERE around me. Being around well to do white people wouldn’t even help. I hate them too.
Frick you homosexual. Frick you. I’m constantly in a state of longing for a life I’ll never get to live. Frick you homosexual
finish college bro
Sure, paypig for a worthless degree, just so you can debt-lock yourself into your miserable life in America. Frick that.
Sleeping in a van on public land every night costs about $750/month if you eat good quality food, drink beer and smoke weed every day, have open lands within 10 miles of your workplace, etc. In the Colorado mountains, public showers and bathrooms are common in most towns. Anyone can work 60 hours a week at an unskilled or semi-skilled job and net about $4000/month in the Colorado mountains. Five months of this drudgery, then you walk off the job with $16,000 in the bank. Now you can enjoy seven months in SEA.
It really is that simple. Tough, but simple.
is studying hard enough for a scholarship just not an option for you?
Nope, papa was too rich. He helped me out a lot, but I was still on the hook for $10,000 in tuition for my third year at a prestigious state university. Busted ass for $8/hour to save the funds, just to hand it all to the college israelite. What a waste of time and money; the tenured professors were absolute shit, and the students were moron-tier NPCs. Dropped out, started traveling, never looked back on the wagecuck prison I had escaped. Since then I have averaged 6 months a year traveling. Yet my pay has nearly tripled since 2015, and I have never had less than four months' worth of spending cash on hand.
The kicker is, not a whit of my life requires any talent or ability, apart from the ability to say "no" to the israelite.
>I'll never have that option
It's your choice how you spend your money. If you have no life in America, why not live in your vehicle or in an employee dormitory while working a seasonal job? Nowhere else in the world can you save money so goddamn easily as in America. Get your shit together already. If you're gonna be miserable in America, miserymaxx and stack that cash.
join the airlines or just if desperate just go over your visa stay and see what happens
Dude, you are fricking hilarious. Never stop seething on trv, it always makes my day.
Of course you're unhappy. You moved to a place where the metrics for success and failure are vastly different from what you're used to. Not only that but you will always be an outsider, at best the local population will see you as a positive stereotype and at worst "the other". You will inevitably integrate with an expat community who has all the same problems as you and will exist on the peripheral of a society that doesn't really want or respect you.
It's kinda a meme but you have to really think about what will make you happy and determine if that thing is realistic to achieve on your own. It's also distinctly possible that you will never be able to achieve what makes you truly happy without destroying yourself along the way. I'm almost 30 and have realized that life is mostly boring and the things that keep me happy are not compatible with the metrics that measure health and success. You have to find the middle ground and do your best to stay within it. Grand and drastic measures are rarely the answer.
Past a certain age, a man without a family can be a bad thing.
>the things that keep me happy are not compatible with the metrics that measure health and success
the glaring question is, what makes you happy?
isolating in my house and abusing Adderall for days at a time. I mean more broadly that the pursuit of happiness can lead to self destructive behaviors that impede obtaining the very thing you're after. Think of the man who thinks money is the key to happiness so he spends all him time working and neglecting other aspects of his life. Or the one who is obsessed with fitness and his physique that it becomes simple body dysmorphia
Complacency is where most people exist but it has such a negative connotation around it. Most people you look at and think are happy are probably just complacent in their lives. Happiness is not a permanent state of being.
wtf does adderall do to you that ecstasy couldn't? why are amerimutts addicted to it?
asking honestly, it's not a thing at all in Europe
it's legal and their parents got it for them and now they'd go in withdrawal if they stopped
you can do it everyday and its antidepressive in low doses
move back, as you say yourself, you fell for the meme. SEA is meant for vacationing to not living in, the fact that is cheap relative to our western salaries is the root of every draw to the place.
Still if I was like 35 years older and on a pension, I'd probably want to live there but with so much slavelabour and ~~*life*~~ ahead of me it's better to work in the west and vacation in the east.
not everyone lucky to join the laborforce in the west anymore, now with a degree
boomers oblivious to zoomers reality where they're permanetely pre-employed, have no responsibility, and can never fully mature.
Can you give us an update? I want to read your blog, even if it's fake
I did too and had similar problems (Korea and Japan). I had studied the language some before going, but its never enough. Natives just talk too fast and use too much slang. I don't think its just me either. Hardly any long term expats seem really fluent, unless it was their college major.
I think the best advice is to get in a little bubble with other expats. Sounds kinda sad, but it works. The good news is, you have something in common that pulls you together.
marry a local and start a family
That can work butiys a big gamble. You can end up alienated with a wife and daughter who hate you and don't even speak your language. Also not as easy as it used to be to get a wife.
>You can end up alienated with a wife and daughter who hate you and don't even speak your language
then you marry another local (won't need to tho, your first marriage will work out fine and you'll have a happy family)
you literally cannot suffer as a white man in asia
>you literally cannot suffer as a white man in asia
based
get a wife? just get a wife?
ok wait lemme put on my helmet, jump into the wife cannon and shoot myself into wifeland where wives grow on wifetrees
reddit
no, I won't get a wife on reddit. those "women" are all trannies
nice blog, homosexual
go to philippines they all speak english
learning a new language takes 3 months, completely immerse in it.